The Importance of Setting Boundaries
[Music]
[Music]
so
[Music]
let’s take a moment to tap into our
current experiences and close your eyes
what is the most important thing in your
life
suppose there was a global pandemic in
an hour
who would you go to and who would you
want to be with
if that’s a tour to think think about
the world now
what the world was a month ago a year
ago living a normal life going to school
working eating dinner with families
hanging out with friends going on
vacations
all the things that we took for granted
i
personally think parent of rice might
have been a lesson for all in each one
of us
of knowing the invaluable part of what
we call
an ordinary life
so many people have lost their families
friends regular lifestyle happiness
struggle for mental illnesses depression
lockdown quarantine and now how much of
a change
has this pandemic brought to you into
our world
like this we don’t really realize how
much of a gifted life we’re living in
with the gifted people around us so now
open your eyes
and think again when the world doesn’t
know comes to end
who would you want to spend the time
with i believe
a lot of them answer your loved ones the
people you care for the most
but what i really want to ask is if
these people are this important to you
how much love are you showing them what
actions are you taking
to show them sometimes people say that
when we get too used to having someone
next to us
such as our families we start taking for
granted until we realize
how important their lives how we should
better treat them better when they’re
finally
not with us in this world
[Applause]
hi my name is ryan and today i’ll be
talking about the importance of setting
boundary
to pursue the love within your loved
ones and for that reason
i’m here to share one of my experiences
of letting you an important part of my
life
and the boundaries that i set for my
family
back when i was in korea which is about
four years ago i was in a professional
soccer team
i was scouted by one of the top three
middle school soccer teams in korea and
of course when i heard about this i was
i’m actually shocked and happy
because soccer was literally everything
i’ve invested my whole childhood in
playing soccer she really reached out
one more step
and becoming an actual one the school
was a boarding school
that was about an hour and a half away
so every weekend i would take an hour
and a half metro to see my family
but you know what the worst part was
that i barely had the time to see them
on friday i passed them at seven in the
night and i was so tired
that i had to limp to the station have
you ever had a feeling
where your legs just can’t stay still
and just constantly vibrate some muscle
overlay
like you’re not walking normally but
within your abnormal walking trying to
find a flow to move a certain direction
like a conscious drunk walk but whatever
by the time i was home it was around 9
00 p.m and my family will be waiting for
me to dinner
stepping inside the house i’ll hear my
mom’s voice coming on me
brian are you here with the joyce and
blizz
the screamings and smiles greetings from
my brothers and sisters
all the effort and exhaustion from
soccer vanishes and feels like pure
happiness
but my time with my family was fleeting
as watching a sentimental loving movie
in the beginning
every tiny part of my heart would be
filled with love romance as i hugged my
mom
laughing with myself and joking my dad
had an inspiration like the end of the
movie how they end up breaking up
tearing your heart into thousands of
pieces my eyes soaking every bit for you
monday but here is it again waking up
six in the morning
getting ready for another week of
training my mom would always drive me to
the station
and seeing my mom car disappears as
you’ve drawn away from the cities
says station in any wish i had more time
with them
sometimes i missed out my dad’s birthday
my little sister’s kindergarten
graduations
all the small events that i could have
attended if not for soccer
in the beginning year of boarding school
i was very passionate about soccer
i really envisioned myself becoming one
of the famous soccer players like son
yet after a year of attending my
performance was not that outstanding
compared to other players i was a middle
fielder a center mid
who plays a crucial role in
transitioning the ball from left to
right
right to left giving through passes the
core of the team
there were three other players fighting
for my started position and soccer is
such a competitive sport
because whenever you made a minor
mistake your coach would just sub you
out which means you devalue yourself and
think you weren’t worth it
because i was one of the hard working
players who really practiced during
midnight when no one was
whose spiritual time of the weekend for
that extra training
to really earn that spot but whenever i
got sub
it made me think if i should give up the
three other players were my best friends
my close friends
but whenever we steps inside the field
we were like three major predators in
the jungle fighting for the top of the
food chain
like lazy before coming out of your eyes
cravings crushed and downs
it’s such a competitive sport and it’s
all that mentality i had to stay strong
but my thick skin didn’t last long and
not so after a year i saw myself
emotionally drained down from the
depression competition to really
maintain my status as a starter
so i knew this time i really had to
think for myself
prioritize my health and make the right
decision the best decision for myself
after a long week of constitution
consideration i decided
to give him soccer and at that time this
was a really big decision for me
i spoke to my parents about it and i
arranged a meeting with my coach
sitting across my coach i was definitely
nervous it was definitely hard because
he would expect me that i would say i
would give up
but i was determined so with clear voice
and confidence i looked them in the eyes
and said
hey coach um lately i’ve been feeling
emotionally dreamed down
and i don’t think i can play soccer
anymore he was shocked
his eyes moved from left to right his
face turned red with disappointment
he didn’t expect me to say but he didn’t
try to make it seem obvious that he’s
doing that but i knew
so after a long five minutes of silence
he calmly sit back
here i am i’m sorry that i don’t know at
the moment
but i’m sure you’re certain with your
decision so i can’t say anything but the
lady god
i wish you good luck in the future it
was on
it was done i said no to soccer and i
placed my boundary
so how was my life after losing
everything i’ve invested it was great
that it was of course it was not easy at
first to imagine the
dream or being a soccer player but time
really
i got into the fitness industry i got
into kinesiology i studied
i tried different muscle variation
myself i met new people who might be my
best friends forever
and i even got into studying which i
hated hated and hated
and most importantly i didn’t miss out
any family dinners
vacations all the small events i was
there
at the present moment whenever i could
this image presents the validity of
small steps
the reason why i’m showing you this
image is because setting boundaries and
showing love doesn’t have to be a major
sacrifice
it could be something simple like muting
your phone before dinner
or a kiss before seat a hug before
school
it shouldn’t be an obligation the action
should be generally preceded by your own
so here’s the steps to setting
boundaries one put yourself in the
future and imagine
if you ever regret the action that
you’re making right now two
if you know that the right decision is
to put your phone away or sparing time
for family vacation
prioritize family over anything and do
it don’t think to yourself
self-compromising but do it
and lastly set the boundaries push away
the things give up the things
that prevents you from happiness and go
to your true values
set the boundaries and make the actions
because the biggest pain
is not losing your loved ones it’s not
getting a chance
to show your true feelings because from
the other person
the only part they see is your actions
they don’t see your emotions
thoughts how much they really mean to
you how much you love them
until it becomes reality so my message
here
is choose to be there in the present
moment
whenever you can thank you