Using Active Listening In Time of Hostility
[Music]
[Music]
how do we
understand and communicate with
hostility
evading this issue is not the solution
since we all must at some point
talk to or work with individuals who are
incensed
those interactions can be challenging so
i’d like to discuss a method
which may assist in accomplishing this
goal
caution individuals express and
experience aggression in many forms
therefore our reactions will vary
i’m here to have a conversation with you
regarding a method
which will allow us to communicate with
individuals
in a situation of aggression
active listening is a style that is
utilized in areas of rapport building
and counseling active listening involves
the listener to fully concentrate
understand respond and then remember
what is being said
listening skills establish flow rather
than closed-mindedness
active listening is opposite from any
other listening techniques
such as empathetic and reflective
listening
reflective listening is when the
listener repeats
what the speaker just mentioned to
confirm that both parties understand
now empathetic listening is about giving
others a passage
for one’s emotions
wouldn’t it be nice to be able to accept
new perspectives
on troubling topics that cause emotional
suffering
guess what we already have these
capabilities
the man upstairs gave us this gift so
let’s share it with the world
active listening is strategically vital
serving as an integral part
of any effective and successful leader
with the current social arrests in the
united states it is evident
politicians their advisors policymakers
and representatives of law enforcement
are lacking
these skills
these groups instead become defensive
and reactive
which instigate even more public outcry
with damages and violence in our streets
today we’ll highlight the prospect of
actual listening
associated with empathy open-mindedness
and avoidance of
interruptions
dealing with an adverse crowd in today’s
world one should bear in mind that
something went wrong initially and it is
still falling
short of any positive results
as a retired hostage degree i utilize
active listening
and skills for more than 23 years the
fbi
and my professional and academic opinion
are the architects of modern active
listening skills
they use it in hostage negotiations
interviewing methods
and crisis situations
after i retired from law enforcement i
found myself using active listening
skills in all aspects of my life
and if used consistently you’ll see
promising results
therefore i’m here today to offer an
alternative approach
from a person who has a different idea
on how to take
adverse situation and turn it into a
wrath
of rationality
what i have to say today is continuous
in its complexity
but what it suggests is vital
people we live in a world which consists
of
unstable social and political settings
we need strong leadership and strong
leadership
starts with the ability to notice core
details
and issues challenges and opportunities
this is possible when leaders have a
good grasp of active listening skills
don’t get me wrong what i have to say is
not just about listening
but rather listening with a perspective
of recognizing
the problem and then knowing what others
would say in their approach to resolve
this
issue active listening
is the discrete fashion which serves to
improve infrastructures
with a person or a group the goal is to
introduce different methods of
communication
through open-ended questions rapport
building
dialogue research and observation
all for the sake of reaching a
behavioral change
through encouragement and a harmonious
atmosphere
of cohesiveness and understanding
active listening skills also serve to
reduce the emotional tensions and
outbursts
when a leader encourages more
interaction
and interactive adjustments
it enables us to collect enough data
and additional information to set the
record straight
a variety of goals can be attained with
active listening skills
however the main task is to focus on how
rather than what a person says
for example a tone of your voice
demeanor
the use of pauses and tracking of
emotions during communication
are essential goals within the dna of
active listening
as a listener this is time to introduce
a more meaningful
and focused method in communications
once you use paraphrasing to describe
the overall meaning of your conversation
in your own words this allows the person
who is speaking to you know that you are
listening
therefore it is practical to keep
repeating
some of the main words said by another
person
this ensures that the perspective of the
conversation are being covered
the current situation in the united
states after the tragic death of george
floyd
instigated much physical and verbal
aggression in our streets
making america full of social disorder
and public unrest
the recent misconduct by small and i
said small percent of our country’s law
enforcement officials
has caused an emotional service by the
citizens they swore to protect
morsi pity subsequent to the death
of george floyd america’s streets became
filled with so many aggrieved and
intense citizens
i choose to say the word aggrieved
rather than
angry because it is comfortable to call
someone
angry when you don’t understand their
frustration
however the word of grieve represents
adjectives such as wrong
offended or injured so for the remainder
of this
talk i will use the word aggrieved
at this moment i become clear to the
rest of the world that
something is wrong with this country’s
interdisciplinary approaches
and now calls for justice become more
willingly the country became divided
citizens started adhering to the laws of
the street where the fittest survive
and on the other side of this
pandemonium some groups united to
protect their homes
businesses and communities from looters
and rioters
surfing on the wave of public outcry
the thing is these individuals who
follow the idea of
establishing justice through civil
unrest don’t even try to realize or
evaluate the root cause of the whole
problem
in the negotiations between the
government law enforcement and its
citizens
the missing link relates to the
inability or direct disregard
of active listening skills politicians
law enforcement public figures seem to
follow the wrong meaning of active
listening
these groups instead to incorporate
their judgments counter-attacks
pieces of advice and values into a
conversation
and in return they receive an intense
reaction from the public
however it is more important to focus on
the feelings
values and demands of the opposite
parties
they need someone to listen to them
someone influential and responsible
in this respect empathy is essential to
identify and justify
someone’s feelings pertaining to real
life circumstances
and this can only be possible when
leaders are receptive to the different
views
from the ones who suffer from a
fundamental socio-political
problem which has existed far longer
than i’ve been on this earth
first know how to calm oneself before
trying to enter in negotiation with the
aggrieved
i say to the leaders of this so-called
free country
you must understand that these are
individuals who are hurting
whose tempers are no longer a
significant starting point
of their behavioral reactions and when
this happens
this could lead to individuals feeling
they have nothing to lose
therefore the unsurpassed methods in a
troubling situation is to
start by active empathetic listening
avoiding defensive arguments and
establishing goals to persuade the
contrasting parties
listening to the voices of diverse
people during times of ongoing racial
unrest
is a matter of great responsibility
it is critical to recognize the
significance of other people’s views
and what they’re saying perceiving them
equal and straight to the point
regarding the overall situation and its
issues
letting people voice their concerns in
emotional searches
is absolutely imperative during the
process of active listening
it gives grounds to building trust and
furthering relationships
as the conflicting parties start to make
sure their voices matter
mutual trust is mandatory when shedding
light on issues
from someone else’s perspective even if
talking about the collective idea
of what black lives matter as a movement
embodies
it’s all about recognizing one’s
indignation
which does not require complexity just
active listening
this is the exact outlook that police
and politicians will
take when dealing with an aggrieved
group
it’s highly unlikely that chaotic
transformation and
upfront hostility will lead to a
positive change
and it is night e to think this way or
to keep menacing the protesters and
other involved individuals
for the sake of rapport building and
mutual cohesiveness
communicating in a setting of
confrontation should be non-threatening
and without imposing your own judgment
i’m sorry but why is it
that people of power and influence
tend to anticipate feeling their own
significance
by sharing their own messages and
about this problem and then suggesting
their
own solutions as well read my lips
no one wants to hear your solutions
regarding the problems of others right
now
i say it is time for the people in the
streets to be heard
how is it conceivable that the ones
responsible for our country’s social
disarray
and the ones able to resolve it can’t
even hear the cries from the people they
are supposed to protect
and serve
the main task is to listen actively
making certain you
understand then orchestrate all the
pieces together
to develop an optimistic depiction of
the issue
this approach is better served when we
disregard our desires to want to
squabble with a hostile crowd
strategies of communication require
significant variations
therefore we must reroute these
strategies
onto a path of decision making further
interaction
and collaborate with the community
personally knowing the situation from
the inside out
by having a direct relation to the law
enforcement profession
as a retired police officer more
importantly
as a black man i would suggest
looking for more advisors from different
fields
to introduce an interdisciplinary and
cross-cultural approach to the problem
ladies and gentlemen everything matters
in this context
but the primary role should go to active
listening
full of empathy and acceptance of
diversity
active listening techniques are designed
to allow an unreceptive group
transform into a consistent community
open to negotiations and rational
conclusions
aggrieved individuals in the so-called
free country want more understanding
and it starts with the state of being
understood
with no interruptions or judgments in
your response
everybody has a voice and everyone has
something to say
let us show appreciation and value to
their voices
our streets cry of independent values
ideas of
equity serenity and cooperation
hence there is a critical point of
suspending one’s judgment
and turning to active listening which is
open within the scope of effective
for effective and rational leaders
our countries agree want to be
understood
so by indicating your purpose and to
halt judgment
and recognize the aggrieved individuals
without becoming angered yourself
we as a society can help defuse a
hostile situation
active listening is comprised of a
cognizant effort
from the listener to reserve one’s
desire
and to understand the need of an
aggrieved community
so in summary as i observe our country’s
leaders and policy makers attempt to
negotiate in a society facing
uncertainty and civil unrest i will
illustrate my skepticism by citing from
the late minister malcolm x
oh i say and i say it again we have been
had
we have been took we have been
hoodwinked
bamboozled let us stray run amok
this is what they do
ladies and gentlemen we must not allow
those sentiments to resurface again
i am crux conception and i thank you for
the privilege
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you