The 3 As of awesome Neil Pasricha
so the awesome story
it begins about 40 years ago when my mom
and my dad came to Canada my mom left
Nairobi Kenya
my dad left a small village outside of
Amritsar India and they got here in the
late 1960s they settled in the shady
suburb about an hour east of Toronto and
they settled into a new life they saw
their first dentists they ate their
first hamburger and they had their first
kids my sister and I grew up here and we
had quiet happy childhoods we had close
family good friends I’m quiet street we
grew up taking for granted a lot of the
things that my parents couldn’t take for
granted when they grew up things like
power always on in our houses things
like schools across the street in
hospitals down the road and popsicles in
the backyard
we grew up in we grew older I went to
high school I graduated I moved out of
the house I got a job I found a girl I
settled down and I realized that sounds
like a bad sitcom or a Cat Stevens song
but life was pretty good life was pretty
good 2006 was a great year under clear
blue skies in July in the wine region of
Ontario I got married
surrounded by 150 family and friends
2007 was a great year I graduated from
school and I went on a road trip with
two of my closest friends here’s a
picture of me and my friend Chris on the
coast of the Pacific Ocean we actually
saw seals out of our car window and we
pulled over to take a quick picture of
them and then block them with our giant
heads so you can’t actually see him but
it was breathtaking
believe me 2008 2009 were a little
tougher I know that they were tougher
for a lot of people not just me first of
all the news was so heavy it’s still
heavy now and it was heavy before that
but you know when you flip open a
newspaper when you turned on the TV it
was about ice caps melting wars going on
around the world earthquakes hurricanes
in an economy that was wobbling on the
brink of collapse and then eventually
did collapse and so many of us losing
our homes or our jobs or our retirements
or our livelihoods 2008 2009 were heavy
years for me for another reason - I was
going through a lot of personal problems
at the time my marriage wasn’t going
well and we just were growing further
and further apart one day my wife came
home from work and summoned the courage
through a lot of tears to have a very
honest conversation and she said I don’t
love you anymore and it was one of the
most painful things I’ve ever heard and
certainly the most heartbreaking thing
I’d ever heard until only a month later
when I heard something even more
heartbreaking my friend Chris who I just
showed you a picture of had been
battling mental illness for some time
and for those of you whose lives have
been touched by mental illness you know
how challenging it can be I spoke to him
on the phone at 10:30 p.m. on a Sunday
night
we talked about the TV show we watched
that evening and Monday morning I found
out that he disappeared very sadly he
took his own life and it was a really
heavy time and as these dark clouds were
circling me and I was finding it really
really difficult to think of anything
good I said to myself that I really
needed a way to focus on the positive
somehow so I came home from work one
night and I logged onto the computer and
I started up a tiny web site called
1,000 songs calm I was trying to remind
myself of the simple Universal little
pleasures that we all love we just don’t
talk about enough things like waiters
and waitresses who bring your free
refills without asking being the first
table to get called up to the dinner
buffet at a wedding wearing warm
underwear from just out of the dryer or
when cashiers open up the new checkout
line at the grocery store you get to be
first in line even if you’re laughs at
the other line swoop right in there
and you know slowly over time I started
putting myself in a better mood
I mean fifty thousand blogs are started
a day and so my blog was just one of
those fifty thousand and nobody read it
except for my mom although I should say
that my traffic did skyrocket and go up
by a hundred percent when she forwarded
it to my dad
and then I got excited when it started
getting tens of hits and then I started
getting excited when I started getting
dozens and then hundreds and then
thousands and then millions started
getting bigger and bigger and bigger and
then I got a phone call and the voice
the other in the line said you just won
the best blog in the world award I was
like that sounds totally fake which
African country do you want me to wire
all my money to
but turns out I jumped on a plane and I
ended up walking a red carpet between
Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Fallon and
Martha Stewart but I went on stage to
accept a Webby Award for best blog and
the surprise and the you know just the
amazement of that was only overshadowed
by my return to Toronto when in my inbox
ten literary agents were waiting for me
to talk about putting this into a book
flash forward to the next year and the
book of Awesome has now been on number
one on the bestseller list for 20
straight weeks
but look I said I wanted to do three
things today I want to tell you the
awesome story I want to share with you
the three A’s of Awesome and I wanted to
leave you with the closing thought so
let’s talk about those three A’s over
the last few years I haven’t had that
much time to really think but lately I
have had the opportunity to take a step
back and ask myself you know what is it
over the last few years that sort of
helped me grow my website but also grow
myself and I’ve summarized those things
for me personally as three A’s they are
attitude awareness and authenticity
let’s just talk about each one briefly
so attitude look we’re all going to get
lumps and we’re all going to get bumps
none of us can predict the future but we
do know one thing about it and that’s
that it ain’t going to go according to
plan
we will all have high highs and big days
and proud moments of smiles on
graduation stages father-daughter dances
at weddings and healthy babies
screeching in the delivery room but
between those high highs we may also
have some lumps and some bumps too it’s
sad and you know it’s it’s not pleasant
to talk about but you know your husband
might leave you your girlfriend could
cheat your headaches might be more
serious than you thought or your dog
could get hit by a car on the street
it’s not a happy thought but your kids
could get mixed up in gangs or bad
scenes your mom could get cancer your
dad could get mean and there are times
in life when you will be tossed down the
well too with twists in your stomach and
with holes in your heart and when that
bad news washes over you and when that
pain sponges and soaks in I just really
hope you feel like you’ve always got two
choices one you can swirl and twirl in
gloom and doom forever
or two you can grieve and then face the
future with newly sober eyes having a
great attitude is about choosing option
number two and choosing no matter how
difficult it is no matter what pain hits
you choosing to move forward and move on
and take baby steps into the future the
second day is awareness
I love hanging out with three-year-olds
I love the way that they see the world
because they’re seeing the world for the
first time I love the way that they can
stare at a bug crossing the sidewalk I
love the way that they’ll stare
slack-jawed at the first baseball game
with wide eyes and a mitt on their hand
soaking in the crack of the bat and the
crunch of the peanuts and the smell of
the hot dogs I love the way that looks
spend hours picking dandelions in the
backyard and putting them into a nice
centerpiece for Thanksgiving dinner I
love the way that they see the world
because they’re seeing the world for the
first time having a sense of awareness
is just about embracing your inner
three-year-old because you all used to
be three years old that three year old
boy is still part of you that three year
old girl is still part of you they’re in
there and being aware it’s just about
remembering that you saw everything
you’ve seen for the first time once too
so there was a time when it was your
first time ever hitting a string of
green lights on the way home from work
it was there was the first time you
walked by the open door of a bakery and
smelt smelt the bakery air or the first
time you pulled the $20 bill out of your
old jacket pockets that sound money the
last day is authenticity and for this
one I want to tell you a quick story
let’s go all the way back to 1932 when
on a peanut farm in Georgia a little
baby boy named Roosevelt Grier was born
who’s about career or rosey Grier’s
people used to call him grew up and grew
into 300 pounds 6 foot 5 linebacker in
the NFL he’s number 76 in the picture
here he is pictured with the fearsome
foursome these are four guys in the LA
Rams in the 1960s you did not want to go
up against they were tough football
players doing what they loved which was
you know crushing skulls and separating
shoulders on the football field but
rosey Grier also had another passion in
his deep deeply authentic self he also
loved needlepoint
he loved he left knitting he said that
it calmed him down it relaxed him a tip
away his fear of fly and helped him meet
chicks he said I mean he loved it so
much that after he retired from the NFL
he started joining clubs and he even put
out a book called rosey Grier’s
needlepoint for men and a great cover
he’s actually if he knows he’s actually
needle pointing his own face and so what
I love about this story is that rosey
Grier is just such an authentic person
and that’s what authenticity is all
about it’s just about being you and
being cool with that and I think when
you’re authentic you end up following
your heart and you put yourself in
places and situations and in
conversations that you love and that you
enjoy you meet people that you like
talking to you go places you’ve dreamt
about and you end up following your
heart and feeling very fulfilled so
those are the three A’s for the closing
thought I want to take you all the way
back to my parents coming to Canada now
I don’t know what it would feel like
coming to a new country when you’re in
your mid-20s I don’t know because I
never did it but I would imagine that it
would take a great attitude I would
imagine that you’d have to be pretty
aware of your surroundings and
appreciating the small wonders that
you’re starting to see in your new world
and I think you’d have to be really
authentic you’d have to be really true
to yourself in order to get through what
you’re being exposed to I’d like to
pause my TED talk for about 10 seconds
right now because you don’t get many
opportunities in life to do something
like this and my parents are sitting in
the front row so I want to ask them to
if you don’t mind stand up and just I
want to say thank you to you guys
when I was growing up my dad uses love
telling the story of his first day in
Canada and it’s a great story because
what happened was he got off the plane
at the Toronto Airport and he was
welcomed by a non-profit group which I’m
sure someone in this room runs and and
this nonprofit group had a big welcoming
lunch for all the new immigrants to
Canada my dad says he got off he got off
the plane he went to this lunch and
there was this huge spread there was
bread there was those little mini dill
pickles
it was olives those little white onions
there was a rolled-up turkey cold cuts
rolled-up ham cold cuts rolled up roast
beef cold cuts a little cubes of cheese
there was tuna salad sandwiches and egg
salad sandwiches and salmon salad
sandwiches there was lasagna
there was casseroles there was brownies
there was butter tarts and there was
pies lots and lots of pies and when my
dad tells the story he says the craziest
thing was I never seen any of that
before except bread I don’t know what
was meat I was vegetarian I was eating
olives with pie you know
I just I just couldn’t believe how many
things you can get here when I was when
I was five years old my dad used to take
me grocery shopping and he would stare
and wonder at the little stickers that
are on the fruits and vegetables he
would say look can you believe they have
a mango here from Mexico they’ve got an
apple here from South Africa can you
believe they got a date from Morocco
he’s like do you know where Morocco even
is and I’d say I’m five I don’t know
where I am just an P and he’d say I
don’t know where Morocco is either well
let’s find out and so we buy the day and
we’d go home and we’d actually take an
atlas off the shelf and we’d flip
through until we found this mysterious
country and when we did my dad would say
can you believe someone climbed a tree
over there pick this thing off it put it
in the truck drove it all the way to the
docks and then sailed it all the way
across the Atlantic Ocean and then put
it in another truck and drove that all
the way to a tiny grocery store just
outside our house so that they could
sell it to us for 25 cents that’s I
don’t believe that he’s like I don’t
believe it either things are amazing
there’s just so many things to be happy
about when I stop to think about he’s
absolutely right there are so many
things to be happy about there we are
you know the only species on the only
life-giving Rock in the entire universe
that we’ve ever seen capable of
experiencing so many of these things I
mean we’re the only ones with
architecture and agriculture we’re the
only ones with jewelry and democracy
we’ve got airplanes highway lanes
interior design and horoscope signs
we’ve got fashion magazines house party
scenes you can watch a horror movie with
monsters you can go to a concert here’s
guitars jamming we’ve got books buffets
and radio waves wedding brides and
rollercoaster rides you can sleep in
clean sheets you can get go to the
movies and get good seats you can smell
bakery air walk around with rain hair
pop bubble wrap or taking a legal map we
got all that
but we only got a hundred years to enjoy
it that’s the sad part the cashiers at
your grocery store the foreman at your
plant the guy tailgating you home on the
highway the telemarketer calling you
during dinner every teacher you’ve ever
had everyone that’s ever woken up beside
you every politician in every country
every actor in every movie every single
person in your family everyone you love
everyone in this room and you will be
dead in a hundred years life is so great
that we only get such a short time to
experience and enjoy all those tiny
little moments that make it so sweet and
that that moment is right now and those
moments are counting down and those
moments are always always always
fleeting you will never be as young as
you are right now and that’s why I
believe that if you live your life with
a great attitude choosing to move
forward and move on whenever life deals
you a blow living with a sense of
awareness of the world around you
embracing your inner three-year-old and
seeing the tiny joys that make life so
sweet and being authentic to yourself
being you and being cool with that
letting your heart lead you and putting
yourself in experiences that satisfy you
but I think you live a life that is rich
and it’s satisfying and I think you live
a life that is truly awesome thank you