Seventeen in Quarantine
[Music]
[Applause]
two weeks
that’s what they told us on my last day
of high school
well at least i hope not and it was in
those two weeks
that i realized that this virus
and this microscopic thing that nobody
could touch
and nobody could see was what was
keeping us apart
from our friends and our family and away
from
everything that we loved and i wrote
this poem
it was the first one i wrote for my book
and i wrote it
when the two-week break was still a
possibility
and i wrote it in regards to humanity
and if
the virus was taking us out why were we
trying to do the same to each other
we’re just humans we’re just people we
should be loving each other
not trying to hurt each other and that
was the inspiration behind this first
poem that i’m about to tell you guys and
this one’s called
the world was never ours
and in these times of uncertainty and
scare
we’re reminded of our own morality
the world is reminded of the pain and
the suffering
that comes with being a human being
and regardless of technology advances
wars
and seemingly perfect lives we’re
nothing but cells with a conscience
if something so small can take out the
globe
why are we trying to do the same thing
to each other
this next poem i remember writing i was
sitting on my balcony on the last day of
summer
overlooking the city and i came
and i realized that i could think about
all the things
that didn’t get to happen this summer
all of the moments
that i didn’t get to share with my
friends the parties we didn’t get to
throw
and the trips that i didn’t get to go on
but i had to stop myself
because some of the most amazing
relationships in my life
the best people that i know i never
would have met had coven not happened
and the memories and the creative ways
that i got to see my friends
also never would have happened and
even my book i never would have written
it and
i feel like the second that we stop
focusing on just the bad
and we stop spiraling down these holes
is when we start to see a little bit of
hope
and we start to feel like there’s a
little bit of purpose
behind what’s going on and while i can’t
tell you what that purpose is right now
i know that there’s got to be some of it
and this next one’s called
some divine plan and maybe we were never
meant to see
what could have been without the world
ending
the way our lives would have progressed
without the newfound strength
the memories or the creativity
the relationships we built and the ones
we found
didn’t matter anymore the shallow holes
we were swimming in
became deep holes of prosperity we never
knew we needed
so i don’t think we were ever meant to
see what could have been
because without the world ending our
lives would never have changed
i posted my senior pictures on instagram
in july
with some caption about having an online
senior year
and some boy in the grade below me
commented
maggie people are dying
and let me tell you that shook me up
i immediately felt awful who was i to be
upset
about logging into a zoom call instead
of walking into a classroom
when there were people that were losing
their jobs and people that were
dying and i wrestled with this for a
really long time
but i came to the conclusion that humans
cannot control the way we feel about
things we just do
and one person’s feelings does not
devalue
another’s and after i published this
book
some people that were really close to me
had a lot to say
and they told me that i couldn’t publish
a book about a global pandemic
but i think that’s the beauty of it
because
this is the biggest story that i’ve ever
been a part of
and there’s seven billion sides
and it’s my side to
the story and i’m 17.
and if you want to read it you can if
you don’t that’s fine too
but sharing my feelings i hope can help
someone else
find validity through their humanity
and that was the inspiration behind this
poem and this one’s called
will this ever end remember when it was
april 6th
april 20th april 30th
next year for sure september 18th
october 8th hopefully next semester
please stop crying
what if my life wasn’t made of half
experiences
where when things get good they
disappear
into my own little figment but relax
because people are dying
my eyes burn from the screens my head
hurts from the tears
my lungs burn from the masks and my
heart burn hurts from the memories
but relax people are dying
never easy i know that but i thought the
world could give me a break
something i once enjoyed has me
completely burnt out
please stop crying
the days seem to slip away into the same
mundane routine
virtual classes with no learning eating
lunch alone
constant sadness but relax
people are dying
why is this the way my childhood has to
end
i can’t be in solitude overthinking
everything
feeling so beaten down but relax
people are dying i transferred high
schools
as a junior and while there are plenty
of struggles that come with switching
high schools halfway through
you know meeting new friends and already
formed social circles
or even transferring my credits
the biggest for me was going from my
private suburban high school
to a public inner city one let me tell
you
i was terrified but the people at my new
school
were some of the most caring kind
understanding and diverse people
and they welcomed me with such open arms
and love
and they were so excited to hear my
story and know who i was
and i had never felt that before and so
i wrote this poem
not only as a reflection on my past but
as a thank you to them
and this one’s called beauty and
brokenness
and suddenly the world in which she
surrounded herself
was one of purity and love the walls
that once enclosed her
and the fears that once debilitated her
came crumbling down
with her perfect reputation but to her
finally that was okay
and finally the people that she ran to
were the ones who truly cared
and for the first time since forever
someone actually wanted her there
i’ve always loved the metaphor that
people are like stars
how by themselves they shine but
together they glow in these gorgeous
galaxies and constellations
and beyond that i’ve always loved that
every single person on this earth has a
story
to tell and it’s always been hard for me
to understand
that i will never know all seven billion
of those stories
and of the fraction of people that i do
get to meet
i won’t know them all fully and i
remember writing this poem
and i looked up at stars and i looked
back at the people i was with
and i thought to the people that i love
and i came to the conclusion
that the people in my life have to
outweigh
the experiences that i’ll never have
they have to outweigh
the places that i’ll never go and all
the people that i’ll never meet
and the stars that i’ll never get to
touch because there’s
quite a lot of things that i will never
get to do
and right now my support system does
that for me and i think everybody’s
support system needs to do that for them
and this slowly became one of my
favorite poems that i’ve ever written
and this one’s called my trip to the
stars
there are so many stars i’ll never see
people i’ll ever meet places i’ll never
go
but for the first time maybe ever the
people that filled my world
my tiny sweet little world
where the people that made life worth it
the people i’ll never meet the places
i’ll never go
the stars i’ll never see don’t matter
anymore
because the world is far too big far too
vast
and that’s okay i don’t have to see the
world
i don’t have to touch the stars because
my world was what i needed
the universe picked me to be the person
that i am
and the stars are mine i see them in the
people i know
the people that i love the stars are
mine
thank you
[Music]
you