Flamenco Is My Fight
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
ah
[Music]
so
i was diagnosed with ewing sarcoma a
deadly form of bone cancer when i was
five years old
at the time i was just beginning my
dance journey
i went from the sounds of classical
piano while i plead at the bar
to the sounds of irritating beeps and
authoritative voices
telling me to be a good patient i was
not a good patient
i ran away from my hospital bed often
it took 10 doctors and nurses just to
hold me down to give me a shot
eventually they had to put me in a crib
with a net over it
even then i think i was already dancing
flamenco
this was my first solia
the part of the flamenco dance where the
individual dancer expresses
their joys and sorrows
flamenco is both the national dance of
spain and the up your stance of the roma
people
the roma people were a persecuted people
they migrated from india over a thousand
years ago and settled all over the world
but especially
in spain
both the spanish government and the
catholic church did not look too kindly
on flamenco dance until well into the
20th century
just like anyone who feels different
separate or marginalized like a
five-year-old girl with cancer
flamenco is about owning
one’s identity
the first time i met a flamenco dancer
she came in the form of a doll called
miss spain
from her long ruffled skirt to her lace
top and the red rose in her hair i was
smitten
she went through a lot during my
childhood her clothing became tattered
and torn
my brothers tried to behead her
eventually a leg went missing
but i loved her she was my favorite doll
and she survived well
into my adulthood
over the years the chemotherapy and
radiation that had saved my life
kept me from living
i tried to dance but it was getting
harder
one day
my doctor told me
my bone cancer had returned
he extended my left leg and placed his
hand karate chop style below my knee
within a week
i was an amputee
i survived in case you hadn’t noticed
i eventually learned how to walk again
but visibility was scary
i retreated into academia where i had
great success
i lived all over europe
i learned new languages
i had lots of romances
this was the time of my paseo
or passage
a time when i felt excited
and hopeful
about my future
but i sensed
something
was coming
i was 33.
i was living in switzerland working at
the united nations
when i fell ill
i was hospitalized and diagnosed with
acute kidney failure
just like my five-year-old rebellious
self
i ran away from the hospital and found
myself standing next to a field
of sunflowers
but yes
i asked myself
do i want to stay
do i want to live
i returned to the hospital
the doctors and nurses were furious with
me
but i was proud
after a few weeks recovering in the
swiss hospital
i was forced to come back to the united
states
where i continued my dialysis treatment
for 11
years i became one of the first amputee
yoga teachers in the united states
i wrote lots of books and articles about
yoga i got married and divorced
and eventually
received my beloved kidney transplant
i had survived and i needed to dance
flamenco again
guajitas
i dance flamenco for hours each week
it is where i go my sacred time to
express
all the hidden layers of joy and sorrow
that are part of my story
i dance flamenco to prove that i am
alive
that i have survived
and that joy is my birthright
just like the roma people
who created this dance
i stake my claim
and demand
my right to be here
this is my story
this is my dance this is my
soleia
um
[Music]
you