Battling Depression Anxiety and the Mental Health Stigma
i don’t want to be here anymore
this was a phrase that my parents heard
me say to them one january night when i
was in 7th grade
i hadn’t had symptoms of depression and
or anxiety before this moment
and i felt like the thought had overcome
me within the previous 24 hours
before this moment i was completely
overwhelmed
and thought to myself that it would just
be easier if i didn’t have to do
anything anymore my parents were
terrified
and so are the many other parents
friends and families
whose loved ones have also spoken these
words
unfortunately some people have kept this
phrase inside themselves
to the point where it is too late and
they are no longer at a place to get
help
why is a phrase so scary so terrifying
something that people feel like they
will be judged for saying
the stigma against mental illnesses
especially depression and anxiety
stems from a long line of shame for what
you are feeling
the history of mental illnesses dates
back to ancient egypt and rome
called hysteria it’s it
was believed to be linked to the uterus
and corals and
and symptoms included paralysis and
hallucinations
women did not reveal their symptoms due
to the fear that sharing was too
intimate because of where it was
believed to stem from
the uterus given the lack of
understanding
and humiliation surrounding hysteria
women were reluctant to come forward
to get treatment for the women who did
come forward
there were little to no treatments
available in the middle ages
the church believed that hysteria was
caused
by a link between the woman’s uterus and
the devil
religious ceremonies and exorcisms were
forcibly performed
on any woman showing signs of mental
illness
in the 1600s it was discovered that
hysteria is not linked
to the uterus but to the nervous system
and brain
making people even more fearful of the
power of a mental illness
now that a man could get a diagnosis too
men were supposed
to be strong the idea that they could
struggle from something
was terrifying in the 1975 movie
one flew over the cuckoo’s nest the
audience is drawn
in by the horrifying depiction of mental
illness
randall mcmurphy’s diagnosis of a mental
illness
prompts a series of events inside the
psychiatric hospital where he is a
patient
which ends with him being sent into
electric shock therapy
the depiction of this horrific therapy
as the only treatment for his mental
illness
contributes to the societal belief that
this is what treating mental health
looks like
but it’s not anyone can get treatment of
any kind and there should not be no
shame surrounding it
all feelings man or woman are valid
well my first symptoms of depression and
anxiety arose in seventh grade
it wasn’t until freshman year recently
after i had moved to deerfield
that i had my first panic attack i
distinctly remember the chilly september
night
i was sitting at my computer writing a
draft for an essay for world history
all of a sudden my hands became tense
and shaky
and i felt as if i was going to snap my
computer at any moment
i couldn’t breathe and i felt like the
walls were closing in around me
after calming myself down and talking to
my mom we both decided it was time for
me to go see a therapist
i was scared of the idea only people
with big
problems go to therapy and that is a
perfect example of how the mental health
stigma arises in everybody
i’ve been conditioned to think that
therapy was this thing you go to in
extreme circumstances
not to help with a little bit of anxiety
a year later
in october of 2019 i was diagnosed with
generalized anxiety disorder and major
depressive disorder
following this diagnosis i began taking
medication
and going to a more intensive therapy
program known as dialectical behavioral
therapy
dbt three
out of every 10 adolescents 13 to 17
year olds
struggle with an anxiety disorder and 2
out of every 10 adolescents struggle
with the depressive disorder
and 50 of the adolescent population
struggles with a mental disorder which
could be anything from
obsessive-compulsive
disorder to bipolar disorder almost
half of the adolescent population
struggles with their mental
health yet it is something that we as a
society
don’t talk about making it difficult for
those who are struggling
to speak out one of the biggest reasons
that teens are afraid to share their
struggles is because
they feel like they can’t show weakness
in middle
and elementary school i was the person
that people went to for advice
the person that people went to to talk
to i wasn’t allowed to feel weak
i covered up my depression and anxiety
by pretending i wasn’t struggling at all
the mask is one of the most common
coping mechanisms
that i and many others use when
struggling with a mental illness
it’s not an easy thing to do it’s not an
easy thing to put on the face every day
of a person
that isn’t truly yourself it’s
exhausting
the fall of 2019 was one of the worst
times in my life
and very few people knew it i would walk
through the halls
at school smiling and saying hi to
anyone i was remotely friendly with
for fear that they would find out that i
was struggling
there was one day around halloween that
was one of my worst points
i’d gotten to school early for a club so
the school was practically empty
two steps inside and tears started
streaming down my face
i couldn’t do it i couldn’t keep
pretending that i was okay when i wasn’t
i called my mom from the bathroom
sobbing please let me come home
i can’t do it i can’t keep pretending
a couple of days before i had asked her
if i could go to school late
because it seemed too hard to put on my
smiling face that day
and she reluctantly said yes this time
she told me to stay at school for the
first two periods and then call her back
i attempted to put myself together and i
stepped out of the bathroom
only to run into one of my teachers
without a beat
there was a smile on my face as i
greeted her good morning
i went on with my routine saying hi to
anyone i was remotely friendly with
because i was so afraid that they would
find out that i was struggling
but just because you struggle doesn’t
mean you are weak
it means the opposite it means you are
strong
it means you can be here and live your
life while fighting what seems like an
uphill battle
i’ve given you my story i told you some
statistics
so now mental illnesses can mess with a
person’s life
to the point where they don’t act like
the person that they want to be
look at it this way if someone broke
their leg
you would sign their cast help them
carry their books
or even text to check in on them and
make sure they’re okay
if physical health injuries get so much
attention
the mental health diagnosis should too
check in on your friends and family
members who may be struggling
i know the conversation is hard to start
but a simple
hi how was your day and let someone know
that you were thinking of them
and that they aren’t alone we aren’t in
ancient egypt anymore
we know that depression and anxiety are
not caused by a link between you and the
devil
they’re caused by a physical chemical
imbalance in your body
and while medication and therapy can
help heal a person
the everlasting fear surrounding having
a mental illness
can make someone not speak out about
their struggles
i started the conversation with my peers
by posting my story on instagram
it was an extremely vulnerable act but
it led me to start a conversation
about my mental illness it doesn’t have
to be an instagram post
but tell one person one family member
about your struggles
someone who loves and cares for you will
never
judge you i
do want to be here i do want to live my
life
and while my struggles with depression
and anxiety
were something i would never wish upon
anyone
they made me who i am today they made me
stronger
i want you here all of you i know it’s
hard
i know it’s challenging
but you can do this and don’t let the
fear of what other people think of you
stop you from doing what’s right for you
you can do this