Its Okay to Not Be Okay
[Music]
wet hands
under running water make sure to cover
the back of your hands in between
fingers
and your thumbs and then take a clean
tower to drive off your hands
it is done isn’t it except it
isn’t and this
is not a corona wireless hand
washing guide i was seven
my friends i was seven and have been
trapped in the washroom for the past
15 minutes
boy what are you doing in day washing my
hands
just a moment
and i feel compelled to keep on washing
drying washing drying
wash and dry wash and dry soap and water
soap and water
i feel if i ever stop something
bad would happen like the spell of
backlog will fall upon me
or my family or i might one day cross a
road and get knocked over by the car
i have no idea if i can stop washing my
hands
and i’m even more unsure when i can get
out of the washroom i have what you
would call
ocd obsessive
compulsive disorder
imagine having obsessive intrusive
thoughts that act like a bully in your
head
that force you to do things
that you otherwise wouldn’t
and this compels you to perform the act
if you want to feel
less anxious and less fearful
this has been my situation
for over 20 years
before i even know its
name i
felt confused ashamed
and most upon not furious so
furious that the water tap i have broken
a few
you know you turn on you turn off and
you’ve just broken that right back then
i can’t control my mind
my mind control me
and it took me ages to get ready i have
to open the drawer i have to close the
drawer
have i locked my car have i not locked
my car
walk by the asia’s right food live food
right food left foot oh an intrusive
thought came in
and i have to keep on inspecting my
thoughts is this a thought that i want
no then what is it that i want you know
i have to keep on performing
acts like this and if you are in a hurry
waste even more time and when you want
to feel a little bit peace
it paralyzes you my mom would say just
control yourself hugo
my friends would say you’re so weird
what are you even doing
for the first 13 years or so no one
educated
me on my condition my parents didn’t
know about ocd my teachers
feels that certain people are just need
freaks the school syllabus
has nothing on anxiety depression
suicide or mental illness in general
i wonder why is there a physical
education subject
but there is none on mental and
emotional
health and that’s why
i make this a mission for my life i work
on it
i advocate for it and i’ll coordinate
efforts
for mental wellness because as i
struggle with my condition it helps me
to empathize with a lot of people
that are having the same issues
the hunger for this solution and the
curiosity why is it that some people
feel that this is a non-issue
they can even joke about this in
instagram captions
why and i realized
the biggest challenge as i’ve worked
with youth with autism as we conducted
empathy circles
across multiple countries in southeast
asia
we realized the biggest barrier is the
stigma
you see my friends you might be asking
hugo
if something is good why is it not more
readily embraced
the reason is very simple how many of
you who are listening to this
have ever heard someone tell you big
girls don’t cry
if you are man if you cry you’re awake
you go for therapy that those are only
for those
psychotic people
this is the stigma we are facing
since we are young
if you have a problem people will tell
you think positive you go just think
positive
just imagine that just be strong
think positive you are angry just come
down
susan just calm down when in the history
of world
when we utter the two words come down
has a person ever come down
but this just showed the ignorance of
our general population on how to support
someone
with mental health challenges
and the stigma surrounding mental health
is so strong that two years ago
in a mental health association meeting
when the professionals gather
thinking of a name to name their
organization
of course the phrase mental health would
pop up isn’t it so
and they most of them agree we shouldn’t
put the phrase
mental health in the name of the
association
because the general public associate
mental health
with crazy people just think about this
so why hugo is this stigma so prevalent
in our communities
the reason is because of the gap
the gap exists because the state where
we are now state of
current mental health literacy and our
desired destination where everyone is
always celebrated and have
access to health care
there is this gap and in my experience
there are
three reasons for this gap number one
the lack of absence of mental health
literacy in schools and workplace
number two conversations surrounding
mental health are not being normalized
they are still a taboo
number three there is a lack of
coordinated effort
between stakeholders for the mental
health agenda
if we look at this national survey right
national health and morbidity survey
around 424 000 of our dollar since our
children
are suffering from mental illness
let’s think about this
suicide idation has rose from 7.9
to 10
one in five suffer from depression
two in five suffer from anxiety one in
ten are feeling stress
and one in six is a victim
of bullying this is what plaguing our
youth and adolescents
you might assume if it is so serious
people will pay attention right but just
think about this right numbers don’t lie
locally there are 10 000 schools right
about 3500 secondary
6500 primary schools and out of all of
these schools there is only
one counselor assigned for every 500
students
and 90 percent of the counselors are
untrained
our youth and adolescents really going
to counselors
as a punishment rather than help they
would rather go to
confessions forums to post anonymous
comments asking for advice
let’s look at the national statistics
forty-four percent of malaysian says
corvit-19
impacted their mental health over 500
000 of adults are suffering
from depression there is only 1.27
psychiatrists per
100 000 of our malaysian population and
i’m just quoting about local statistics
and there is only one percent of the
health budget that goes to mental health
i have not even go to other countries
that we have reached out in southeast
asia so this is the scenario
without education access mental health
will remain a persistent
and invisible silent pandemic how do i
even
talk about this right it’s not an
accident it’s not a physical condition
this is what a sister lamented about
her brother who committed suicide
last year
you see this stigma is so prevalent
and is so deadly luckily we learned that
conversations can shatter stigma
in one of our events when a beauty queen
actually shades
how she has been taking anxiety pews
when she was younger
left the audience bewildered how could
someone so confident in front of cameras
so
eloquent and socially calibrated have
such issues
when a social media influencer committed
suicide and was found
14 hours later she is alive she’s safe
there is nothing you can flush out of a
system already she took
just too many pills she lost seven years
of her memory this show us that
everyone could be suffering from mental
health conditions
and challenges there is no certain look
you could be smiling
and you could be suffering
in order to recognize this we recognize
that our communities have hurt
mentalities you know what is done by
many would be acceptable and what is
done by key
opinion leaders will be followed that’s
why we encourage people to speak up
because as you speak up
more people will have the courage you
give them the permission to do the same
and as more and more people participate
that it will reach a tipping point
where this will surely become
normalized and we see this over and over
when the leaders speak up in an event
the silent majority feel it is okay for
them to do so as well
we learned that to bring meaningful
reform we have to bring together
stakeholders
right whether it’s parents teachers
lawmakers to come together
to make a change because students will
grow up to be teachers managers leaders
lawmakers and as reason as this
there is a 38 year old disabled man that
was sentenced to six months in prison
because he attempted suicide by hanging
himself with a nylon rope
on december 29th this is the kind of
world we live in ladies and gentlemen
clearly our mental health is not just
about us it’s about
taking care of ourselves and also the
people around us
and when we begin to recognize this fact
we can
start with better literacy better access
better support better policies
the agenda is to close the gap or close
to a billion people worldwide 970
million to be exact
is suffering from some form of mental
illness anxiety depression
eating disorder substance abuse disorder
and when we are talking about 147
billion estimated by 2030 the kind of
course of
treatment for anxiety and depression
disorder
when we look at next left and right of
us there are people that are suffering
from mental illness that we do not know
popular
statistics says one in four and in some
countries could be higher
learn to check in on people around us do
they have sufficient sleep are they
relapsing into bad habits
do they have a toxic relationship do
they have a conducive working
environment
don’t let i’m fine stop you from caring
for someone increase our mental health
literacy
get certification get training get into
mental health first aid programs suicide
first aid program
learn upgrade ourselves do you know
what’s the difference between a
psychologist
and a psychiatrist what type of
therapies are available have you done
your assessments recently
what are the best practices do you keep
a journal for your thoughts
do you know how to love yourself
self-care
is a skill set and as with all skill set
it takes
training and continuous education
thirdly be an advocate for mental health
if you’re an employer
give your employees an access to
counsellors
to websites for resources if your
parents learn to communicate with your
children
if you are lawmaker petition and push
for the decriminalization
of suicide everyone have influence and
everyone can be an advocate
right let someone take a mental health
leave give them the resources give them
the help
invest in your people have peer support
groups
lastly as you join me in this long
journey
i recall someone telling me that she is
of a different sexual orientation
and she feel that she cannot bear to
take the risks
to tell her loved one because she feel
there is a possibility
she might even lose the very people she
cared about
we can turn this around ladies and
gentlemen and i learned this
about 15 to 16 years ago when i was in
japan i was in a student
exchange mission in japan and when i was
based in the kanagawa prefecture japan
we took a trip to tokyo and one of the
most beautiful thing is learning about
the art of kimsugi
the art of repairing broken pottery with
gold
silver or platinum
and what is so special about this art
form is that this 400 year old art form
it is transformed something that is
broken into something that is more rare
and more valuable than before it just
reminds us as
humans being we all have our feelings
our mistakes our mental illness
different
severity levels and we all need help
it’s okay to heal from it it’s okay
to learn to educate ourselves learn
to support one another because together
we can get through this together sharing
being vulnerable being courageous
and being proactive we can change the
landscape for mental health
and remember you are not broken
you are not alone whatever challenges
you are
facing right now just like the art of
kinsuki
the broken tree layer with go
you too have been transformed into
something that’s more resilient someone
who is more beautiful
and bo ladies and gentlemen
i’m hugo tan and it is okay
to not be okay thank you