Mental Disease Empower Others by Sharing Your Story
i graduated
from pharmacy school with my doctorate
of pharmacy
in 2008. i spent the next
10 years working as a community
pharmacist
in 2018 i decided to start teaching
pharmacy students
so i began working towards my doctorate
of education
with a focus in curriculum and
instruction
as a pharmacist the idea that i could
have mental diseases
is completely foreign
what’s even more foreign to most if not
all people
is the fact i openly talk about my
experience
i am a pharmacist and i
have mental diseases i’ve been diagnosed
with anxiety
attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
agoraphobia obsessive compulsive
disorder
and complex post-traumatic stress
disorder
i’ve dealt with depression after giving
birth to my son
in january of 2016.
this is commonly known as postpartum
depression
so why does all of this matter one
in five adults will suffer from some
form
of mental health challenge in their
lifetime
the average delay between onset of
symptoms
and reaching out to get help is about 11
years
of those people only 45
of people will actually go see a doctor
get help
or talk to a doctor for me
it took approximately 10 years
suicide is the second leading
cause of death in those individuals
aged 10 to 34 years
i’ve attempted suicide twice and i’ve
survived
i had to spend five days in the hospital
after my first attempt in 2016.
i was only 32.
mental health issues are not uncommon
yet these numbers are alarming
you are more likely to die by your own
hand
than you are by somebody else’s
had it not been for my sister-in-law
taking the time to tell me
that my odd behavior was troubling
i may never have realized that i needed
help
discrimination is not uncommon either
most people don’t realize that you can’t
question somebody on the basis of their
mental health
or struggles it’s happened to me
and it happened to me in the last place
i would have ever imagined it to happen
these stereotypes and misconceptions
make it almost impossible
for us to be successful because we’ve
been told
it’s not possible while overcoming
mental diseases
or mental health issues tonight
i share my story to normalize the
conversation
around mental health and mental diseases
i share because as a pharmacist
i’m not immune to the struggles of
mental health issues
i’ve had adhd my entire life
so there is nothing that i have achieved
or succeeded at without the presence of
neurodivergence
choosing to share with my patients lets
them know
i not only empathize with them but i
sympathize with them
because i’m trying to navigate and
understand
what it is to overcome mental disease
i provide them a safe place
free of judgment fear and shame
a space of understanding and community
i’ve been told i shouldn’t share my
story i should hide it
in fear of what it might do to my career
sharing these things out loud publicly
could complicate my personal life
as a medical provider people may believe
that i’m not able to take care of my
patients
hiding all of my mental health issues
should be
important because somebody might think
that i’m unable to take care of myself
or my family shame tells me
i should hide these parts away
never speaking about them
guilt tells me to bury them in the
deepest parts of the closet
never to be discovered
people including myself fear being
labeled
self-stigma occurs when somebody has
been
diagnosed with a mental disease and then
they begin to internalize those negative
stereotypes
which then lets them believe they have
this spoiled identity
the impact of this on any individual
who’s been diagnosed with a mental
disease
can lead to lower self-efficacy and
self-esteem
whether depression schizophrenia
borderline personality disorder or
anxiety
there is this fear that once this
diagnosis occurs
it will dictate who the person is
a diagnosis becomes a personality trait
no longer a human being who has
lived a life full of accomplishments and
defeats
a person with depression
turned into their diagnosis and
subjected
to the stereotypes prejudices and stigma
hearing the term mental disease
automatically puts people
into this mindset of generalized
stereotypes or assumptions
rarely do outsiders understand what
mental disease is
or how it affects each one of us
differently
in order to combat this misunderstanding
our society needs to start to set these
stereotypes and assumptions aside
to get to know the identity of a person
first before they judge
or come to conclusions about the
individual
in october of 2013 two
short weeks before my 30th birthday
i was arrested for a dui
it’s one of the many obstacles i’ve had
to navigate in my life
the only trouble i had beforehand with
the law was a few speeding tickets
it was only a matter of time before my
destructive drinking
caught up with me emotionally
i believed i was a bad person
i began making myself feel worse
because getting a dui
was now a personality trait
this is when the book daring greatly
came into my life
it’s written by dr brene brown
it was about to teach me a valuable
lesson
i wasn’t a bad person i was a good
person
who made a horrible mistake dr brown
talks about the importance of leaning
into vulnerability
to identify our guilt and shame
when we are forced to reflect upon
ourselves
we can learn and grow from our hardest
moments
in this space i learned about accepting
my uncomfortable moments
to allow me to heal and feel less alone
for me my favorite quote is this
vulnerability is the birthplace of
love belonging joy
courage empathy and creativity
it is the source of hope empathy
accountability and authenticity
if we want greater clarity in
our purpose or deeper and more spiritual
meaningful spiritual lives vulnerability
is the path
this was the beginning of me
fully embracing my vulnerability
when i’m able to let my guard down and
connect with my patients
on a personal level they know i
understand their struggles
it lets them know they are not on this
journey alone
yes it’s different for each of us
but we’re united through our experiences
oh and by the way as of today
i am 822 days sober
life is complicated there’s no denying
this fact
whether you have a mental disease or not
life is hard however
those of us with mental diseases may
struggle just a little bit more than
those without
but we are able to manage if we decide
to do so
we aren’t incapable of raising families
we can have successful careers
we can be accomplished doctors
athletes teachers scientists
just to name a few anything
a person can do without
mental health issues we can do
justif as bet as good if not
better the time has come for us to step
out of the darkness and
into the light labels
don’t matter stereotypes
and prejudices don’t matter
public stigma doesn’t matter
what truly matters is the human life
that’s being overshadowed by all of
these other things
all this unnecessary and unneeded noise
i matter my voice matters
my story matters just as
your story matters your voice matters
you matter all the negative
things that have been said about mental
diseases
or those who overcome them is simply
wrong i plan to
silence all of the misinterpretations
and falsehoods through speaking out
against them
the most effective way to challenge
the false stigma stereotypes
and prejudices which currently exists in
our society
is to openly prove them wrong
my name is dr ashley perkins
i have mental diseases but i am not
nor will i ever be my diagnosis
thank you