Mental health you are not alone
[Music]
[Applause]
yesterday morning
i just opened my messages as you do in
the morning and my mum was standing
right next to me
so i’m just like scrolling through my
snaps and there’s nothing in particular
so i’m okay i look over to my mum
she’s in absolute shock so i start
rethinking did i open
any messages that had offended her or
were in any way inappropriate
but nothing comes to mind so at this
point i just start panicking like why is
she reacting like that
and then she goes is she okay
what the girl who sent you that video
what video she was crying and cutting
her hair
hmm apparently it’s not normal to cut
and dye your hair when you’re not
feeling well
who would have thought oddly enough this
has been somewhat normalized to my
generation
now you might be thinking what is she
trying to say
well i believe that
a bad mental health has been normalized
and most people my age do not know how
to deal with it
this is not something new is it a bad
mental health is not a new theme
why are we not talking about it a
discussion with elder people makes them
extremely uncomfortable like if you just
have interrupted them
on the toilet and to be honest
this behavior does not change with the
younger generation
let me ask you a question how are you
doing today
no seriously how have you been doing
this week
have you really been doing well like you
have been saying
now the weird thing is quite a lot of
people feel uncomfortable when asked
these questions
almost like if you’re not allowed to
answer honestly if the answer is not
well this is an enormous problem
the simple subject of mental health has
been made so taboo
we can’t really think about it but why
why would a subject like this be taboo a
subject that impacts
every single one of us one reason is
there’s a certain non-said rule in
society to be happy
a non-said rule that says you can’t be
sad or have any negative feelings
even though that’s completely normal and
valid
there’s certain toxic positivity that
tells us
if i am sad i am going to make the
people around me sad
my favorite example of this is the other
day when my friend was having a bad day
her cat had died so we were trying to
comfort her
then when my other friend goes
just be happy it’s a great surprise she
did not feel any better
with a bad mental health you need to get
help right
so help can be talking to family friends
or going to therapy
i guess that’s another reason why mental
health is so taboo
there’s so many stereotypes around
therapy you know that place
insane people go to
a therapist is a bit like a doctor for
your mental health right
so why can’t i go there if i have a
problem
even if it’s a minor one it might evolve
it’s also important to go for checkups
on a regular basis
and if you do not feel at ease with your
therapist just go to a new one until you
find one you like
in general you should look after your
mental health on a regular basis
by focusing on yourself and make sure
you are doing well
and i have realized over time that
well-being is divided
into three major parts the first part
being the motions
the second part being the soul and the
third one being
the body they are all connected and are
crucial for well-being
we need to actively look after all three
of them
i’m going to start with the body some
ideas for looking after the body
are sports in general but also more
relaxing aspects like
yoga and stretching the good thing about
this is
it’s ready partly in the school
curriculum just by adding a bit more
of a relaxing part it could be
completely in the school curriculum
and for anybody saying they don’t like
yoga
you have simply not found right yoga
teacher yet like somebody told me a few
years ago
i don’t like yoga um another thing we
can do
for the body is eating healthily
simply by having like you already have
heard it thousands of times
a balanced and healthy diet you should
be good
so this is not going to extremes which
is eating too much or too little of
something or eating too much or too
little in general
i remember when i just got into
secondary school you
once have all this freedom nobody’s
going to stop you from
going anyway for lunch and eating
anything
so i started binge eating like i’d say
most people when they get into secondary
school
chocolate and anything that was off
limits at home
this is the simple reason why there are
no off-limits
or recommended foods because like i just
said
we tend to binge eat them when we get
them if you’re feeling insecure about
your body because people are telling you
you’re not perfect for where you are
they are not the ones to judge the only
people who can tell you if you’re
healthy or not
is you and your doctor because in
general people try to aim
for this ideal body that media puts
forward
that is on one hand often extremely
unhealthy to obtain
but also impossible to a certain extent
the second part of our well-being is the
soul
you know that thing god of the devil is
going to come and take some day
the soul i have divided personally into
four parts
the first part is the connections
connections is connections to for
example other people
but it can also be connections to for
example higher being if you believe in
god
or even um a lake a tree
or your favorite rock simply by going
for walking
in the forest or being fully present
when having a conversation
is enough when i mean fully present so
keeping eye contact
and not being distracted by example your
phone
i remember having this conversation a
few years ago with some mums
and they mentioned that my generation
does not know how to keep
eye contact so i guess we should work on
that
sadly through the wearing of masks the
whole aspect of connection has been
weakened
we started with social distancing and
are now socially distancing
the second big part is communication
communication is making your needs clear
to other people
i have realized that people do not
understand what you want unless you
clearly tell them
for example does my dad know i want a
waffle right now and not just a basket
of fruit
probably not i have not clearly told him
so
you should really make sure to make your
needs clear
the third part is knowing what your
needs are
also prioritizing them by what i mean by
prioritizing your needs
is making sure that you’re prioritizing
yourself
and then the people that are important
to you
i often tend to even have a lot of work
to do not say no to people when they ask
me for something
and just respecting this point means
understanding that
you have to put yourself sometimes
forward and not as a people
and just saying no sometimes it’s okay
we should all do this
now to the emotions personally
this is a very scary one for me i have a
hard time dealing with emotions
because i tend to deny them
not only to myself but also to other
people
so it’s a privilege doing this but it’s
really intimidating too
a good thing for emotions is writing
them down
a good thing about writing emotions down
we could again include it in schools
we could encourage having writing about
emotions in languages in the school
curriculum
which would help students not only try
and force them to understand and know
what emotions they have
but through knowing what emotions you
have you also get to deal with your
emotions
when you write them down you can do it
in any shape or form
you could do it i don’t know a song a
poem an essay or even a whole musical
if you do the musical please invite me i
adore musicals
another way you could also do for dean
was emotions is just naming them
simply by naming your emotions when you
are happy
sad scared or angry will make you feel
better
also just be honest with yourself and to
other people to make yourself feel
better
for me it’s extremely important to
understand
why i feel a certain way why am i cross
for example
when i’m angry it tends to be because
somebody has crossed my boundaries
so here we’re back to the soul part with
connections i try to make my boundaries
clear
and tell people where my boundaries are
that way these boundaries are not
crossed again and i don’t need to fill
this negativity again
now i would say we’re coming to
my biggest message in the talk and
something i really hope is going to
happen
something that’d be amazing to have in
schools is school counsellors
right now in my school we have school
therapists
and in theory you can go there but
people rarely go there
most of my friends and a lot of people
in my generation
not all are very introverted
so they are incapable of even ordering
pizza let alone a glass of water at a
restaurant
on one hand it is extremely funny to
watch for me
but how do you expect these people to go
to the school therapist
they are unable to do so even me being
an extrovert is
hasn’t even thought about going there
because i
tend to want to deal with my problems
myself and in general i just deny them
i also let myself think my problems are
just not important enough
well of course some solutions for
example one of my friends started a cry
count document
she shared it with a few of us and
basically we have access to it and every
time you cry
you write down that he cries and the
reason why i am proud to say
that i’m in first place right now after
having a concussion last week
but it’s not really a solution because
as teenagers we’re going through
so many changes at so many different
levels that we need someone to talk to
we could talk to parents but it’s just
awkward
having a conversation with parents you
know
kind of you just don’t want to talk to
parents about
intimate things friends is neither
reliable source
because in some friend groups sadly the
simple
theme of mental health is still taboo
but
also some people don’t have many friends
so having a school counselor would be a
reliable source
people could always go back to to ask
for help
to have somebody to talk to um
the good thing about school counselor is
it’s a grown-up who’s specialized in it
so they know what they’re talking about
on top of that
it’s a good and neutral opinion and
advice
the school counselor would have to be
mandatory for example
every two weeks for at least 20 minutes
because
like we said before with a school
therapist not many people go there
because they don’t dare to we need
somebody to come to
us they’d also have to mingle amongst
the students that way we feel
comfortable talking to them because
again we don’t want to talk about
strangers
with strangers about our emotions i’d be
extremely weird
and i think the most important part that
the school counselors would bring wisdom
is making mental health less taboo
because us teenagers
future adults would be used to talking
about emotions
the body and the soul for anybody who
is struggling right now or going through
a tough time there’s absolutely nothing
wrong with you
just continue you are not alone
to everybody students parents teachers
anybody involved in schools we are the
ones who can make a change
by working together we can integrate the
free parts of well-being
in the school curriculum and have school
counsellors
we need to work together to be able to
do this no voice is too small
by working all together we can make this
happen stop mental health being taboo
thank you
[Music]
you