Letting Paint Dry
[Music]
hi there my name is daniel j
watts i am a 2020 tony nominee
and i’m a storyteller this is my new jam
me you don’t really let paint dry
one of my mentors said to me one day he
meant it as a compliment
yeah i guess you’re right i grinned back
pseudo shyly
as i took said compliment and placed it
on my head like a half crown
i’ve always i’ve always taken pride in
being the kind of artist that’s
always making moves
we were having one of our catch-up
sessions my mentor and i
july 2019 i between shooting episodes of
the marvelous mrs maisel
and moving into my new apartment uptown
in harlem
i just returned from paris
i just gone out there to hang you know
shop a little take in a couple museums
sit down at cafes and watch the people
go by you know try parisian
let’s defend what night little did i
know that my vacation would turn into a
workation and i would be asked to
perform with my friend ray
as he headlined the international music
festival afropunk
okay i might have known a little bit but
i wasn’t gonna let that paint dry
um
upon my return dave chappelle was making
his broadway debut
followed by an invite-only impromptu jam
session
i had an invite i jammed at the session
hey
that’s all right a week from then
titus burgess’s album would be released
on which i had two features and two days
prior deadline would announce broadway’s
tina musical
finds its ike turner and last og
co-stars
daniel j watts
and i’ve not yet started painting like
this
the week before rehearsals my mother and
i would travel to clarksdale mississippi
memphis tennessee and nutbush tennessee
to see how a younger ike turner might
have maneuvered through life
then back to nyc to finish shooting
basil then a quick trip to la for an
album release concert
then back to new york city to start
tenant rehearsal
four weeks of rehearsal three weeks of
tech four more weeks of previews and now
it’s november and it’s opening night
my family oh my family which consists of
my
my mother my two aunts my two cousins
and my 91 year old granny fly up to
support
they are drenched drenched
in southern pride and basking in
familial glory
as tina turner pretends to give me a
light smacking around at the curtain
call in front of 1500 people
it was awesome
skip over to thanksgiving which means
it’s basically christmas so you might as
well say
it’s a new year happy new years 2020
spoiler alert things are going to get
wild
fast but i wasn’t about to let that 20
20 paint get dry
first off performances of my one man
show
overlap with my eight shows a week at
tina fully equipped with no days off
and a midnight performance on a friday
night the night before two show saturday
wet paint wet paint wet paint
but leading into february i’m starting
to feel the effects
everything’s starting to blend
i’m only three months into my one year
contract and i’m already feeling like
i need to break i need a vacation
moving into march and now taking on the
role of arc turner
has started to take its toll and i can’t
tell
whose trauma is whose i can’t tell whose
trauma
is huge and there’s news of this
mysterious
illness making its broadway debut
um but this paint though
all cylinders are firing i’m firing all
cylinders because there’s tony buzz
gotta pack those interviews in which
means suits purple suits
blue suits green suits you it suits me
and is that a hazmat suit aquamarine
and as it seems the paint is beginning
to dry
i ask myself do i really want all this
i mean all of this the fortune and the
fame and the celebrity because dave
chappelle said to
david letterman that the more you invest
into yourself as a celebrity the less of
yourself you get to own
and i asked myself
am i really going anywhere like what’s
my sense of direction because
i feel like i’m not going anywhere or
like i’m running in place on a hamster
wheel that i don’t know how to get off
of and it’s like i have to ask
permission to do the thing that i know
that i need to do for myself
and then and then and then and then
the world finally stops
and because everything is in flux
i am forced to take a much needed
reprieve as that mysterious illness has
been granted an extension
and though i know the answer is not for
a while
i kept asking myself when’s broadway
coming back
because even though i really really
really need to take this break i really
really really really
really need a check and i keep checking
the status on this mysterious illness
because i need that paint to dry
now and now everyone’s dazed and
confused our grays turn to blues i’m i’m
off all of the socials but i stay glued
to the news because
i’m watching the paint dry that will not
dry
fast enough for me to keep going
skip to the summer skip to the summer
now the country’s on fire
i’m back on all the socials
because my one man show has been revived
and revamped for the virtual space so i
can comment on the deaths of ahmad
briona and george broadway still doesn’t
know when it’s going to come back
but now it’s in the hot seat for all of
its past transgressions
and i think it might be time for me to
take a break from the city
three weeks in north carolina two weeks
in l.a one week in portland
i come back to new york broadway still
doesn’t know when it’s going to come
back i need something to take my mind
off of all these pandemics and the next
thing i know
i’m painting with my feet i needed
something live
and in color that wasn’t live and in
color
and now i realize i’m obsessed with
diving
in colors watching them
splatter swirl and blend and do all the
things people shouldn’t be doing right
now
and as i’m in the midst of my deep dive
i realized i had to learn how to let
paint dry
i have to stop
and take a break because if i don’t my
yellows
and my blues will make green
even if that’s not what i really really
want
and then i started to think about all
the other times when i wasn’t letting
paint dry when i
wasn’t taking time away to let things
heal
like like when i was still dancing on
two sprained ankles even though the
doctor told me
i needed to take a break for a while
when i was
trying to force closure in a newly
broken up relationship
because i didn’t want to deal with the
healing process or when
or when i fussed out my my reps because
because networks haven’t called to offer
me a deal a week after my one man show
all the times when i didn’t want time to
take the time it takes
to reveal itself to me
all the times when i didn’t believe
that what i had already done was enough
and that i didn’t have to keep going
back in
with more color
broadway can’t come back
it has to come forward
and when it does it has to be more
expressive
with the colors that it uses
and unfortunately i can’t finish this
piece for you right now
because in order for me to do what i
really want to be able to do
i have to let this paint dry
and that’s something that i’m i’m still
really really really
learning to be okay with
but i know it’ll be worth the wait thank
you
you