The Psychology Behind Personality
before
coming to this school i’d been in my
older one for
nine consecutive years if you think
about it
it’s a double-sided coin because on the
positive side
you basically know all the ins and outs
of the place
you become an expert about everything
but on the negative side getting too
comfortable for me
wasn’t all that great
getting too comfortable meant that i
didn’t really care
how i presented myself and that came
with its fair share of downsides
if you would have asked any of my past
mates what they thought of me
they’d probably tell you oh she’s really
quiet you won’t hear much from her
i was mostly branded my whole life as
the shy one and
i didn’t really like it it felt like it
could never change
but when i figured i was going to
transfer i thought to myself
this is this is perfect it’s my
time for me to basically leave the
stigma
there wasn’t going to be shy unlikable
quiet me
it’s going to be a new me habiba
2.0 i had a very simple plan
with the biggest aspect that i was going
to become extroverted
basically i was going to wait till the
first day of school i’ll go up to people
and i’ll talk to them i’ll make jokes
i’ll basically stun them with my newly
acquired charisma
so fast forward to the first day of
school my head was held high
and my dreams were bigger than ever
i went into class and approached the
first person i saw
i went up to them very enthusiastically
and i said hello
i’m the newcomer hi my name is haviba
a little less enthusiastically she
replied yeah
hi um you’re a newcomer yeah welcome
i was like yeah yeah um i told you my
name’s habiba i just came
i just came now your school’s really big
and
she she just looked away
i thought to myself it’s fine don’t
panic um
maybe maybe you approached her wrong or
maybe you should have been
maybe you should have been a lot more
enthusiastic maybe a little less
i just thought about it and i figured
that
that what i thought was stupid there’s
no
there’s no such thing as becoming
extroverted overnight
i am i am the shy one i am a quiet kid
no one likes me i can’t do this
i thought to myself well it’s pretty
unfair that i was born this way
because you know i’m born an introvert i
can’t really go up to people and talk to
them i can’t
i can’t start a conversation i can’t be
charismatic this isn’t my thing
why do specific people have more friends
or acquaintances but i don’t
what’s so special about those people
if i would ask someone amongst us right
now to
tell me what they like the most about
the friend
they’d probably say oh they’re so much
fun to hang out with
or we have a lot of common interests or
i love
their personality so with that lead in
mind it got me to start researching
about
what is a personality this question in
fact has been asked for hundreds of
years
with one of the very first answers being
found by philosopher hippocrates where
he theorized
that basically the personality was based
on four fluids
found in the human body the yellow
the black the red and the white so
to iterate he basically meant that if
you had more
yellow bile in your liver you tend to be
really extroverted
if you have more black bile in your
kidneys you tend to be really
detail-oriented if you have more red
blood in your heart
you’re very talkative and enthusiastic
and if you have more white falcon in
your lungs
you tend to be really calm and peaceful
his theory was that basically your
personality could be a mixture of these
four fluids
or one of these fluids could be leading
your personality
another theory was found by physician
franz gao
where he theorized that one’s
characteristics or traits
were based on the distances found
between the bumps
on their skull these were only
two of the theories out there and there
are multiple theories out there
but even with all these theorizing
psychologists have yet to pinpoint
an official explanation to what a
personality
is however it was jotted down as
a pattern of unchanging traits and
special
characteristics a personality is made
from
a lot of different aspects you have a
societal
culture inheritance relations and so
many more
so you could notice how you’re very
outgoing like her mom or very
soft-hearted like your dad
but even with all this variety humans in
fact have
a lot in common in a psychological book
called personality in nature society and
culture
there’s a famous quote that says every
man in certain respects is like
all other men like some other men and
like no
other man so everyone here
with no exceptions shares their need for
sleep
and for food some of us share our
undying love for pizza
and every single one here has a specific
pattern
or habit or inclinement that no other
person can possibly relate to
but even with all this aspect and
variety
psychologists in fact pinpointed five
traits
that can be found in every single human
being
however with a scale
these five traits being
conscientiousness
agreeableness neuroticism openness
and extraversion so to iterate in
conscientiousness
you could be basically very organized or
could be really careless
in agreeableness you could be really
friendly or you could be really
uncooperative
and neuroticism you can always be really
anxious or you could be really calm and
collected
or an openness you can prefer a routine
or you could be a lot more spontaneous
and an extra virgin which probably most
of you
are the most familiar with as people who
like to go out
and party and meet new people and the
others who like to stay home
and read books and just do nothing
however this is a widely held
misconception
the two terms introvert and extrovert
were popularized by swiss psychiatrist
carl jung
where he basically stated that a person
is an introvert
or an extrovert depending on how they
tend to turn
mentally so introverts turn inwards
and extroverts turn outwards it’s almost
like recharging your battery
introverts recharge in solitude while
extroverted charged by being with people
and meeting new people and
going out his point was that
these were basically the two extremes of
a scale
meaning that every person falls
somewhere on the scale
and if you were right in the middle
you’d be called an ambivert
it is no secret that being extroverted
is usually a lot more preferred
it’s nicer when someone is the light of
the party they’re the ones making the
joke
they’re the ones introducing people to
each other but aside from the
social aspect or the societal aspect
introverts in fact have a lot of
positives
with one of them being that they prefer
having deeper
talks they like to know what really
boggles your mind what really is on your
mind
this also might be a bit of a shocker
but introverts are
great leaders with some examples being
bill gates or abraham lincoln
another positive about introverts or
actually positives
is that they’re careful they’re
attentive they’re prepared they’re
detail-oriented
they think well before they act they’re
good listeners and on top of all that
they’re great counselors
so your introverted friend is basically
your free therapist
so to sum it up introverts reflect
more and act less well extroverts
act more and reflect less
finally i think i made no effort to hide
the fact that i am
introverted maybe even excessively
but as a matter of fact it’s very
important for you to reach a point where
you’re very
understanding and content of yourself
but no matter how understanding you are
this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t
adjust yourself to the situation you’re
going through
so let’s say your friend is having a bad
day and you tend to be really
introverted
we play yourself up in an extroverted
way to try and cheer them up
or let’s say your mom’s friends are
coming over or cousins who are coming
from all across the country
we do these things out of appreciation
and consideration
so to answer my first dilemma is
can i change my personality i think
through this journey i truly realize
that there’s no such thing as becoming a
new person overnight
you can’t really become extroverted
overnight the true rebranding or
changing
is understanding your personality
knowing your positives and working with
what you got
to make yourself and your loved ones
happy
when we all gain a wider understanding
of the variety
people carry themselves every day will
be able to
have a wider tolerance for people will
be able to understand them easily
we’ll also be able to cater everyone’s
positives in a way
that will benefit our society so make
sure
to always keep an open mind and to know
that difference
is a strength not a weakness thank you