Eat Play Love
Transcriber: Mica Nguyen
Reviewer: Maria Pericleous
Once upon a time,
there was a little boy
who lived in a neighborhood
where there were lots of children.
Every day he would rush to the window
and look outside as they were playing.
He would ask his mother, “Mom, can I go
and play outside with my friends?”
And she would say, “No, my boy, you’re
still too small, you can’t go outside.”
Weeks, months and later years went by
and still the same happened every day
until one day she went to him
and said to him that he can
go and play outside now.
He looked her straight in the eyes
and said to her: “mother,
I turned 18 today,
I think I’m too old now.”
The moral of the story is
you’re never too old
or too young to play.
I want to ask you today,
when was the last time you played?
When was the last time you created
something in your hands,
just to be in the moment,
with your creation, like a child?
Up until the age of four, children think
the world revolves around them.
Their worlds are small,
but their imagination is massive.
You put a crown on a little girl’s head
and she’s a princess,
a cape around a boy and he is Superman.
No questions asked.
When does it change?
Why does it change and how does it change?
Our crowns are grabbed from our heads,
and we see the world
through the eyes of those
who tell us we are not princesses.
Our capes are ripped from our backs
and we realize that we are
our own kryptonite,
and that we do not possess
any superpowers.
I still remember the day that my crown
was grabbed from my head.
As a four year old, I was brushing
my long blond hair in the mirror
and telling myself how beautiful I am.
As punishment for that, my hair
was cut short like a little boy,
and I was also dressed like one.
I still remember the shame I felt
in that moment, rejecting myself.
This is what trauma does, it detaches us
from our inner child.
For some it’s gradually,
but for others it’s instantly.
Through the years,
I’ve made it extremely challenging
for people to connect with me,
as I was so disconnected from myself.
I looked for the answers in wrong
relationships and in books
and found myself traumatized,
lost in my own story,
where I played the victim.
After one of these relationships failed,
I cut my short and I colored it black,
once again punishing myself
for this failed relationship.
I found myself in trauma.
Suddenly, a single mother.
And I had to look for my place in the sun,
but not only for myself anymore.
Also for my little boy,
who now depended on me.
During that time, I attended
a play therapy course.
More specifically, gestalt therapy.
This is what play therapists use
to help children going through trauma
and difficult times.
Whatever is in the forefront
of their lives and their hearts
will reflect through playing.
I remember creating a leaf from dough,
the facilitator asked me a few questions,
and I remember telling her,
“this leaf was kicked out of
the tree she was attached to.
But what this leaf doesn’t know
is that she’s a magic leaf
and one day she will become her own tree,
to provide shade to many others.”
I had an “aha” moment that day,
where I realized that adults
can be empowered through play,
that you can bring them into the moment.
The more I tried to explain my theory
to the people there,
the more it was said, “It’s impossible,
this is only meant for children.”
I have a stubborn streak,
and I decided to open
a non-profit organization,
where I will empower adults
from all walks of life
through these play therapy techniques.
The results were astonishing.
Play knows no boundaries.
It knows no age limit.
If you don’t believe me,
look at grandparents
play with their grandchildren.
For a moment, they are taken
into each other’s world
with no judgment.
All coping defenses are set aside,
and they meet each other where they are.
What an adventure. What an honor.
I remember when our television
broke when my son was little,
I did not have the funds to buy a new one.
I was devastated,
but in hindsight it was the best thing
that could have happened to us.
We played for hours.
We sat with dough, we sang songs.
And I really believe up to today
we have a very special bond
because our foundation was set on play.
Our love for museums
was also created there.
I did not have the funds to take him out,
but that was affordable,
and we could also create
stories of the heroes
who blazed a trail in front of us.
Up to today, we still enjoy
visiting museums,
mo matter which city or country we visit.
If you look at movies like Will Smith’s
“Pursuit of happiness”
he plays the role of a father
who protected his son
from the realities they were facing
by creating a fantasy world for him.
He played his way through poverty,
and I truly believe
the same applied to my life.
I’m not saying there is not a reality.
Of course, there is.
Working in the non-profit world
for many years,
amongst the poorest of poor,
I’ve seen what reality is,
and I’ve seen that there are
dragons to conquer.
But if you conquer these dragons
and face this reality
from a place of connection
within yourself,
I believe you do it so much different
than from a place of disconnect.
One of the techniques
that I’ve used in the non-profit world
and still use today,
is the monster technique.
You take two pages.
In the one page,
you draw your monster,
your biggest challenge
that you are facing at the moment.
For me, it was public speaking.
I was absolutely horrified to do it.
I drew a big microphone with ears,
long teeth and a tail.
Then on the other page,
you draw the outcome,
when you conquer this monster.
I drew flowers like arrows,
the whole page full.
And up to today that is still my hope,
that every time I speak,
my words will penetrate
the hearts of those listening
through inspiration and hope.
You then tear up your monster
and you keep your badge of hope.
The monsters of the people
I worked with
in the non-profit world
sometimes broke my heart.
But I truly believe
that massive shifts happen.
When you can identify you monster,
you can also see how you conquer it.
You cannot always be taken out
of your circumstances,
but you can be empowered in them.
Play asks no questions.
He doesn’t ask you whether
you’re rich or poor.
He doesn’t ask you
what language you speak,
or even if you can read or write.
Play reminds us that we are human,
that we are born for connection,
with ourselves and with others.
I sometimes joke, and say that I was born
with a pain in the hand.
Ever since I can remember,
I was writing stories and writing letters.
The moments in my life
where I didn’t write
was the moment when
I got disconnected through trauma
and rejected myself.
We are all born with a gift,
whether it’s to write,
whether it’s to bake,
whether it’s to build businesses.
And with that gift comes creativity.
The same applies to my clients.
I always tell them, if you tap into
that zone of genius,
that gift, you were born
to serve the world,
there is an overflow and a contentment.
The disconnect is what brings
writer’s block, frustration,
as well as a loss for words
when you sometimes need it most.
Simon Sinek also talks about
play in the workplace.
One of his quotes: “The goal is not merely
to work hard and to play hard,
the goal is to make the two
indistinguishable”,
and I could not agree with him more.
Whatever’s in the forefront of your heart
will reflect on the outside.
It could be through love,
inspiration or hope.
Or it could be through
frustration, anger and fear.
Whatever is your driving force
will reflect not only in your work,
but also with your connection
within yourself and with others.
We were born to create.
We were born to play.
You do not work a violin, you play it.
And I believe that’s how
we should approach our lives
and our businesses,
like playing the violin.
Imagine a workplace
where colleagues
play together in harmony
and form a bond from there.
Imagine families playing together,
embracing each other in the moment.
Imagine partners lifting each other up
instead of tearing each other down.
Playing together.
I want to ask you again,
when was the last time you played?
If you can’t remember, maybe it’s time
that you go and look for your inner child.
Forgive yourself for mistakes,
not knowing better,
embrace yourself, for you are brave.
Love yourself, for you are
worthy to be loved
and more than enough.
Play the violin of your life
like never before.
Pursue your dreams
with your princess crown
securely placed on your head
and your superhero cape around you,
for your story is your superpower
Do not sit at life’s window, hoping
to be invited to play outside.
Get up!
Open the door yourself,
you did not need permission,
do it before it’s too late.
May you inspire others
through embracing
every chapter of your story,
learn from your lessons,
but also be inspired in it
through playing.
Love others and yourself
as if your life depends on it.
This is your moment
to eat, to play, to love.