How to Build Power Wherever You Are
how many times have you said
if i only could focus a little bit more
i’d be able to get through this
or if i could adapt to this new
situation
i i want to get to this new thing but i
haven’t let go of a new thing i can’t
let it go
if i can only adapt to this new
situation embrace this new normal
then i’m gonna be all right or if i had
more time
uh extra night uh an hour
something a moment that i could really
help this project
fly or if i could just get a little bit
more energy
a good night’s sleep a nap something at
the bottom of this cup of coffee
that would be amazing and i could truly
shine how many times have you said that
i know i’ve said that countless times
usually when i’m praying to the gods of
deadlines
but what i found over the years as a
entrepreneur as a creative
as a public speaker and speaking to
literally thousands of them
is that we always have that we always
have the ability to focus
to adapt to uh have time
and to have energy you can call them the
fates f-a-t-e
we always have them they are actually
part of
our human experience if we don’t have
any more we’re not alive
if you have zero energy you’re not
functioning and so as long as we’re
living and breathing we
can continue to create and make amazing
things
we have that ability we tend to get
confused though
because those resources that focus that
agility that time and
energy tends to change depending on our
personal
and professional circumstances for
instance
if you’re 85 year old a retiree
then you’re probably hyper focused f
because you spent nine
decades spending time trying to figure
out what you really care about
that’s actually the blessing of being
that old but
you might not be as agile a because
you spent nine decades figuring out what
you care about you don’t need as much
stimuli to figure out what your life
meant what matters in your life now
you might have a lot of time t because
if you’re blessed enough to
have no major health issues and be in
good shape
otherwise then you’re only focused on
yourself
and or your partner and lastly energy e
you might not have as much now i have
good friends that are in their 80s even
in their 90s we talk regularly
they have a lot of energy they
understand we understand
that they are the exception to the rule
so we start to get into trouble
and start to have challenges when we
start to see
what we lack compared to another person
we start to feel guilt and shame
when we worry about how someone else is
executing something
and not how we would execute it or vice
versa
we start to ch shame and judge other
people
when they’re doing things differently
than how we would do them so let’s say
this 85 year old retiree
is connected with a 25 year old grad
student
the grad student their focus f
might not be that great because they
have so much stuff going on
and they’re only 25 they’re still trying
to figure out for lack of better term
their life
purpose but they might be really agile
a because they’re trying to figure out
their life purpose
you know when you’re in your 20s that
next book
the next quote the next class you take
next person you date
could end up changing the course of your
life
that is amazing so of course you’re
going to be adaptable different things
because you don’t know what’s going to
change
the course of your life time t
might not be that high i remember being
a 20-something grad
student and i know my time was spent
working on my dissertation
i know my time was spent trying to
figure out how i was going to make a
living to pay for the grad school
and lastly i was just trying to have a
social life in between all that
time was very much a premium but energy
though
that’s off the charts because you’re 25
it’s until you get older where you
realize how much energy you actually had
when you were 25
right but what happens when you get
these two people in the room
85 year old retiree and a 25 year old
grad student
imagine the younger person saying hey
let’s work on this project together
let’s get this done let’s make an impact
on the world let’s just do a couple
all-nighters and we can get it done this
week
it’s probably not going to work that
well right
because remember 85 year olds focus or
main thing
is focus and time so that’s powerful
enough to make the grand canyon
but it’s not necessarily powerful enough
to make you stable and strong when
you’re doing all-nighters
or imagine 85 year old going to 25 year
old and saying hey
we care about this we’re both passionate
about it
why don’t we spend the rest of our lives
focused on this one thing
you probably get laughed after and
that’s because there are different
places
so we tend to have challenges because we
look at what we lack
if we’re having a hard time focusing
then we tend to not pay attention to how
much time we might have
if we don’t have a lot of time we have
more time
then we tend to not pay attention to how
adaptable we are to different
circumstances
that’s where our strengths lie and they
vary from moment to moment
and life to life now this has been an
interesting year
to study this stuff for a numerous
amount of reasons
but two in particular back in march
every one of my social circles from
friends and family to
to clients the people that i saw from
afar
suddenly went into one of two camps i
don’t mean politically
i mean as far as time you can call it
pandemic time
so there were a group of people that had
more time
than perhaps they ever had in their life
since they were children
or babies their time resources went
through the roof
and now they’re trying to read war and
peace
now they’re learning how to code now
they’re making bread from scratch
i don’t mean getting a starter from
somebody down the street or going to a
bakery
i’m talking about feeding the yeast day
in
day out i have never done it but i heard
it takes a lot
you need a lot of time for that suddenly
they’re able to do all these things that
they wanted to do
and trying to fill up this time
hopefully in a healthful way
so that’s one group then you have this
other group
who actually have their time reserves
diminish
significantly they are their first
responders
bless them for all the work they do for
still to this day
for months they’ve been time deficient
and try and take care of all of us there
are the people who are food insecure
we’re financially insecure the
unemployment rate is off the charts now
still
and they’re just trying to get through
the day i’ve been broke before
it takes a lot of time to just get
through the day
and people are really struggling right
now just to get through the day
and then there are those who have health
issues
that are significant during this
pandemic
or taking care of people in particularly
vulnerable situations
such as people who are physically
challenged or people who have
um very young children or people who
have
older older relatives that are taken
care of
i have a seven-year-old and a
four-year-old my partner and i have not
had
a day of peace since march 11th not that
we’re counting
but with this former group who has more
time than they ever
experienced before what an opportunity
within the pain within the challenges
within the suffering
mentally and otherwise that all of us
are facing right now
this particular group who has more time
than ever
has such a gift
again how many times have we said if
only had the time for this
then i would do that imagine if the
universe swept
in and said i’m gonna move that boulder
here you go here
now what are you going to do this isn’t
from a place of
judgment or that you should be
productive it’s not a treatise on that
it’s more a level of self-honesty if you
believe that you would do this thing
if you had more time and you have more
time
and you’re still not doing that thing
then there must be something else that’s
stopping you
it doesn’t matter whether you do it or
not what matters is why
so remember there’s two things that came
out this past year
the first one is this pandemic time the
second thing
isn’t really new well it’s new to some
people
and it has to do with time and it’s more
of a reckoning
perhaps more of a recognition for all of
us
my friend and fellow author nila for
merchant
when i talk to her about this about
these resources these faiths this focus
this agility
this time and this energy she said well
what about the headwinds
and i just nodded the headwinds that
are against you when you’re a person of
color
the headwinds that wrap around you and
try to hold you
when you’re born a cis woman the head
ones that
try to push you down when you’re part of
the lgbtq
community what about those
the late author tony morrison said the
very serious function
of racism is distraction its goal
is to stop you from doing your work
the very serious function of racism
is distraction it stops you from doing
your work
so you can replace that with respect to
mrs morrison
with any type of ism and you’ll probably
have a similar effect
you might be affected by these isms
that’s when i say that i bootstrapped my
company
it’s different to you than it is to me
that’s why we don’t have the same 24
hours in a day
because we might have these same
resources these
these this focus this agility this time
this energy this these fates
but how they come out might be different
because they might be deluded
or disturbed or disrupted
that means that if your main thing is
energy
then a lot of that energy might be spent
yelling and fighting to get into as they
say in hamilton in the room where it
happened
where people are making judgments about
your life
and the life of people like you your
energy is spent
trying to get a seat at that table if
your main thing
is time then a lot of that can be spent
healing or unwinding
a life of setbacks
and challenges towards you or people
like you
and that might not stop with you that
could be unwinding damage
from a generation or two
or ten if your main resource is agility
then you’re bobbing and weaving going
around the
traps the setbacks the the roadblocks
that are put in front of you
consciously or unconsciously by people
or by people who created systems
to do just that and if your main thing
is focus
then it might be a little wavering
sometimes because you have to worry
about the target on your back
but i want you to understand and i need
this to be understood
by you that
your resource could be deluded could be
denied
could be stopped
but they will always be there they will
always be at your disposal
they will always be part of you and no
jim crow laws
no lavender laws no voter suppression
no no gaslighting can stop you
from having your life force from having
your fate
from having your power and that very
combination of things that you have
will help rock a world that’s better for
all of us
so if your main thing is
then you’re able to see beyond the
distraction beyond the circus
you’re able to see what’s important keep
your eyes on the prize
if your main thing is agility then
you’re able to bob and weave
and run circles around the people or the
systems that consciously are
unconsciously trying to keep you down
in a way where you might actually
destroy those very systems
if your main resource is time then
you’re able to understand this is a
marathon
not a sprint and that time bends towards
justice
as one wise man said and if your main
thing is energy
then people can look you in the eye and
they understand that you will not stop
until that battle is won
our particular chemistry your particular
chemistry
your particular resource allows you to
perform an alchemy
a change from lead to gold in this world
that is your secret
and those proverbial headwinds will
always bow towards
the positive power of human nature
your simple task is to figure out what
your best nature is