Knowing Your Power
[Music]
as often as we act
like people can read our minds i have
bad news for you
they can’t that means we have to express
out loud what’s in our heads so
if you have aspirations personal or
career goals that you
want to achieve you need to tell people
so they can help you
no one accomplishes anything of
significance
all by themselves some researchers say
don’t tell anyone your aspirations and
some say tell
only the right people i say tell
everyone tell the universe why because
i’m not smart enough to know
who the right people are you never know
who can help you
so give everyone a chance i had just
gotten my first executive level role at
ibm
and i knew that i wanted it overseas
assignment in japan at some point in my
career set
because that appeared to be a strategic
step toward the c-suite
now japan wasn’t a huge market for ibm
i didn’t know any japanese executives
but that
didn’t stop me from telling people that
one day i wanted an opportunity
to work in japan who did i tell
every ibm person at my level or above
whenever i had the opportunity
now one clarifying point how you tell
the universe
is very important you can’t be arrogant
or act entitled no one wants to help
people like that
instead share it as a future aspiration
for instance i’d say one day i’d like
the opportunity to work in japan
with my executive management experience
and strong marketing and sales
background
i’m sure there are several roles that i
could compete for one day
notice what i did i shared my future
goal
yes but i also gave the listener an
understanding of my skills and my
experience
people need to know what you bring to
the table
as well as what you want to do in order
for them to think of you
when opportunities arise fast forward
almost two years
i did indeed get a job in japan it was
facilitated by tim mcchristian
who remembered that i had said i was
interested in working in japan one day
if the concept of sharing your goals and
aspirations scares you
you aren’t alone turns out a lot of
people are afraid
a 2015 study revealed that one of the
top fears for americans
is fear of failure the only thing
outranking fear of failure was fear of
horror movies
and that was only ahead by one percent
so
why do you need to push through the fear
and take the risk
well risk and opportunity
are two sides of the same coin if you
don’t take risks
you won’t get opportunities more
importantly though
people can’t help you if they don’t know
what you are trying to do
in my experience when i tell the
universe what i want
the universe ultimately helps
more than a decade ago my late husband
scotty
was diagnosed with terminal cancer we
fought it for years
agreeing that we would live life first
and fight cancer second
then we went through a very bad period
he lost
40 pounds and dropped to a mere 160
pounds
on his 6 foot 2 inch frame he could no
longer walk
and his immune system was so compromised
his oncologist said
he could only eat foods prepared at home
in addition to that his chemo treatments
blood transfusions
doctors appointments all required him to
be at the medical center three to four
times a week
he wouldn’t let me quit working stating
in no uncertain terms
that if i quit working that our whole
life would be about cancer
and if that was the case then what was
he fighting for
whoa so i can’t quit
but i also can’t manage being a ceo
taking care of him
getting him to all these appointments
and cooking all those meals from scratch
so what did i do i told the universe
i told the universe that i needed help i
reached out to our extended family to
friends professional colleagues
neighbors you name it
and what happened people helped
family members and friends took turns
staying with us to support scotty
and get him to his myriad of
appointments friends and colleagues
volunteered to run errands
or signed up on a google doc to bring
meals home-cooked meals mind you
for almost five months the universe
sustained us and scottie got better
he lived another four years does sharing
your wants and needs make you vulnerable
it does but vulnerability
is an unavoidable side effect of
ambition
executed right yes it can feel
terrifying to reveal your dreams
and your goals especially if you suffer
from imposter syndrome like i do
imposter syndrome that little voice in
your head
that little voice that is telling you
you don’t deserve that
you’re not good enough or smart enough
that voice that highlights all of the
negative consequences that could
possibly happen by sharing your goals
and aspirations
trust me dealing with that little voice
with imposter syndrome
it’s hard but you can do it here’s how i
do it
first realize that studies show
that most people suffer from imposter
syndrome
women more so than men and women of
color
the most that means imposter syndrome
it’s in the air it’s not personal
because it affects
everyone so it isn’t real that voice
it’s like tv it looks real it sounds
real
it can even feel real but it’s not real
therefore embrace that knowledge
and try to shut that voice out just like
you turn off that television
if that doesn’t work fake it fake it
act like you’re confident take a deep
breath shoulders back
and move forward acting like you know
what you’re doing
because eventually you will you always
figure it out
don’t let fear or imposter syndrome stop
you
from telling universe what you need and
what you want
remember no one achieves anything of
significance all by themselves
once you stop being afraid to express
yourself
you will be able to take control over
your life and get the help
you need to achieve your goals and
[Music]
aspirations