Living in our Power
so
i hope that at this point in the
evolution of the world
most of us realize that we live in our
stories stories that we tell ourselves
based on what we’ve experienced
so these could be stories about the
world and how it works stories about
ourselves and our role in the world
stories about what’s right what’s wrong
what’s good what’s bad
but there are two things that i think
most people don’t realize about our
stories that these two things i
definitely didn’t realize about living
in our stories
a little slow in these things and the
first one is
that our stories don’t stop we never
stop telling ourselves stories all we
can do is change the stories that we
tell ourselves
and the second thing is we don’t
understand
and appreciate the damage we can cause
to ourselves
our communities and our society with
some of the stories that we tell
ourselves
so this is one of the newest stories i
found hiding in myself
and that sounds a little creepy and it
is creepy it’s really freaking creepy
when you realize you have all these
thoughts ideas and stories hiding inside
you
so this is uh this is one of the newest
stories i found
inside of me and it’s one that i’ve
realized is one of the most damaging
stories i’ve ever
told myself and it starts like most
stories do
um when i was a kid so i was born
in the middle of a 10-year war and that
war was
an indirect consequence of huge
political change that was happening in
the country
but both the war and the political
change were direct consequences
of abuse of power
and when i was four years old we left we
left the country we left as refugees and
we moved to italy
and italy was our processing center i
was old enough to go to school so i had
to go to school
but the only school that had space or
that was available was a catholic school
so now you have an iranian muslim
refugee going to a catholic school
in the 1980s in a small town in italy
you can imagine how much fun that was
the nuns had no idea what to do with me
i was so far outside their idea of what
could exist
in their communities that unfortunately
they did what most people do
they chose fear instead of curiosity
they ignored me they isolated me they
locked me in the closet and they
wouldn’t let me speak or play with the
other children
what they did was combine their fear
with their power
and take abusive action well one year
later we moved to our final destination
where i saw yet again power being abused
in the education system in the judicial
system and on the streets over and over
and
over again so now we have war we have
revolution we have mistreatment by
teachers we have police brutality
i saw the actions the consequences and
many
many times the complete lack of
consequences
of abuse of power across three very
different cultures and countries
and this is a bit of a side note but i
do want to make this clear that
abuse of power is not limited to or
concentrated in
certain societies and that other
societies are immune to it
no abuse of power is everywhere
now going back to the beginning of this
talk to the stories that we tell
ourselves
the story i told myself was that all
power
leads to abuse and that power is
inherently bad
and i told myself this story because
that was the main reference of power
that i had until that point
well fast forward to the the adult
version of me
the person who wants so badly to be in a
position of power
so that she can do just a little bit of
good in this world
and also because i never
ever wanted to be actively abused by
power
again now pause and think for a minute
how challenging it is and how incredibly
messed up it is to want power to create
amazing positive change in the world and
to protect yourself
and protect others and at the same time
secretly silently and sincerely
believing
that all power is inherently bad
now i had known already that my
reactions to power and people in power
were a little bit exaggerated
um i feared it i stayed away from it i
became silent in front of it
i made myself invisible so that i
couldn’t be
abused by it but i
genuinely thought that it was because
well everyone else just has this magic
skill in terms of power and power
relations that i just don’t have
right like i missed school the day that
they taught that
so i decided to school myself instead
i practiced looking people in the eye i
practiced speaking
up i studied leadership and management
but it didn’t work and it didn’t work
because
even though my actions changed my
stories around power
didn’t so even when even when i
finally did get a seat at the table
i still didn’t speak up when it really
mattered
i did not speak up when it really
mattered
and this this really confuses people who
know me
because i’m loud i’m bold i’m outspoken
but only in the spaces where i feel safe
to be so and that’s what i’ve had to
unlearn
that i personally will never feel safe
unless
and until i change my story and i
learned to speak
up and live into my power
so i started to tell myself a new story
a story that
power is a mighty but neutral tool
power is a tool of both the past and the
future
power asks the person who holds it power
asks that the person who holds it
decides
what beliefs and systems of doing and
being they’re going to bring from the
past
into the present and what future they’re
going to create with that
power authority leadership these are
tools of culture and legacy
but power itself is neutral
power is a chameleon power takes on the
intentions
of the person who holds it
and way way too often i have seen the
intentions of people in power
wrapped around their insecurities
bringing
fear ego command and control racism
sexism and every other type of ism the
worst parts of culture bringing those
forward to build their legacy on that is
how
many people choose to use their power
and i am very clear that that is a
choice
now for me with this new story the story
that
that power is a mighty but neutral tool
i have chosen to change my focus
and i am now actively looking for
examples of power and leadership that is
messy but human that makes mistakes but
owns up to it takes accountability for
it
examples of power and leadership that
lead from the heart and not from fear
and ego
examples of power and leadership who ask
themselves and examine their thoughts
and question themselves and ask
how can i be better and not just do
better
and by by changing my story and changing
my focus
my actions are starting to slowly change
as well
i’m starting to call things out and call
people in
i am starting to claim my spaces
i am starting to say no to what i know
is wrong
and saying yes to opportunities of power
and with every single decision that i
make with
every decision that i make using my
power
i’m consciously asking myself what is
the culture
i want to bring forward and what is the
legacy i want to leave behind
so i’m starting to harness my power own
my power
and live into my power with positive
intent
now what are the odds that the girl you
heard about 10 minutes ago who was
locked in the closet
by adults who feared her could be
standing here or sitting here with you
today
what are the odds that any of us can
take our stories our narratives
and and and make them mean something
something different something else
something better
in my experience the odds are pretty
damn high
and trust me i am i am not where i want
to be
or where i personally need to be in
terms of speaking up
and living into my power but i am close
i am really freaking close
standing here sitting here talking to
you on this platform speaking my truth
this is power thank you
[Music]
you