The Power of PenPal Connections
Transcriber: Chi Nguyễn Phương
Reviewer: Hani Eldalees
My outgoing, high energy,
fun loving son, Mikey,
whom we had adopted from the foster
care system a few years before,
was thoroughly enjoying preschool and
had wonderful teachers and friends,
and then everything got
turned upside down.
One day we got notification that he would
be attending school virtually
and that we would have to
quarantine due to covid.
All of the sudden, he was separated
from his friends
and he could only see his teacher a few
days a week if she could figure out
the Zoom platform. The situation was
excruciating for everyone involved.
One day Mikey got so frustrated he threw
his monster truck at the computer screen,
breaking it. He had turned into an angry
child I did not even recognize.
I knew this situation was
especially difficult
for children since they could not
understand what was going on.
I knew Mikey was not the only
one that was having
a hard time during this pandemic.
I teach online university courses and
I was speaking with students who were
getting let go from their jobs,
some who were working extended hours
and others who even had covid.
I tried to be as understanding
and supportive as I could.
I decided my family and I would
go through this situation with
the performance mindset, finding ways to
make connections and create opportunities.
Despite these unprecedented times.
I’m going to share with you some ways in
which I was able to thrive and make
a difference during this pandemic
with my board service, I said.
On a board of a nonprofit called TSARMS,
we assist children affected by
HIV and AIDS in South Africa.
When the pandemic hit, we
realized we would have
to take our fundraiser’s online.
Through this mode, we ended up raising
more than we had been before.
The Internet was crucial in staying
connected since we could not see
each other face to face.
I had not gotten an opportunity to
meet our grantees in person,
but now that we were holding
our fundraisers virtually,
we could include them, and I
got to hear their stories.
They were heartbreaking and made me want
to do even more than I had been doing
for them before. Other stories
warmed my heart
and made me intrigued by their culture.
With the performance mindset,
a top of mind,
I was thinking of ways in which we could
propel our non-profit forward.
We decided to form an advocacy committee.
We began reaching out to
local representatives
and finding ways we could partner
in advocacy efforts.
While brainstorming before
one of the meetings,
we came up with the idea for
a virtual pen pal program.
When we brought up the idea to
a sweet lady from California Congress
member Mike Levin’s office.
She loved it and encouraged us to move
forward. Several meetings ensued.
I sit on the board, the Capistrano
Unified School District,
Cultural Proficiency Task Force.
One of the goals of this task force
is to find ways to make
the district more equitable and
for our students to become more
culturally competent.
One of the best ways to become more
understanding of people from
other cultures is to get to know them.
During one of the meetings,
one of the moms was distraught
because her son was spending extended time
behind the computer learning online.
She was worried about
the long term effectsthis would have
on his mental health. I was hearing
horror stories about
the pandemic significantly impacting
students mental health,
sometimes even leading to suicide.
This made me think that perhaps
connecting with individuals from
other cultures might alleviate some of
those feelings of disconnectedness
and fulfill some of the goals of the
Cultural Proficiency Task Force.
I reached out to my contact
through the district
and asked if she would be willing to
talk to the middle school teachers
and see if any of them would be interested
in my pen pal program.
When she spoke with them, they were all on
board and we decided to move forward.
I remember watching in horror on January
6th as people stormed the US Capitol.
We just happened to have a
pen pal meeting that day.
And speaking of it, brought us hope.
I had even heard on the news
that Representative Levin,
whose office we were corresponding with,
was sheltering in the Capitol complex,
speaking of the pen pal program on
that dark day, gave us hope.
I finally had a grantee and a middle
school class ready to correspond.
I drove in and connected the two.
At the time, I had doubts in my mind about
whether or not this would work.
I heard a quote that went,
It is better to have tried and failed
than to not have tried at all.
And that’s brought me hope.
Videos of the middle school
students started coming in,
and you could tell they were interested
in what they all had to say,
and they wanted to get
the most out of the program.
The founder of TSARMS watched
the videos of the children from Africa,
and she had known them since they were
young and could share stories
and their history. There was one gentleman
who shared his love of riding horses
and she shared that this was for
a therapy program he was involved with.
It was insightful to hear this because
there are so many people where
I live that own horses, which is
a distinct difference between
the two groups that were corresponding.
When the videos from the middle
school students came in,
I knew they were good kids
trying their best,
wanting to get the most out
of this correspondence.
At the time, I had just joined my
Delta Gamma Sorority Alumni Book Club,
and the leader of the group
serendipitously chose a book called
“I Will Always Write Back” - a true
story about a young woman,
Caitlin from the United States, and
a young man, Martin from Africa,
who were connected and forever changed
through a pen pal program.
Through the correspondence,
Caitlin went from being a
superficial teen to a
philanthropic minded,
empathetic, deeply caring young woman.
Martin went from being destitute in
Zimbabwe to a successful businessman
and philanthropist in the United States.
This was all because of the deep, caring
and generosity of a young woman,
her family and a great deal of hard work.
It just so happened that the middle
schoolers in our district had read
the book the year before.
I decided to reach out to Martin,
and he connected me with
the founder of a non-profit
that TSARMS had helped a few years before.
This made me realize
what a small world this is
and how we are all connected in
the most interesting ways.
I am unsure about how this pen
pal program will end up,
especially with the dire
state in South Africa.
But planning it has been a real adventure.
So these are some ways in which I was
able to thrive and give back during
the pandemic and heck with
what we went through.
I now have all of this material
for the TED talk.
So next time you are unsure about
reaching out to someone or starting
a new project, go ahead and do it.
Life is richer when we make
new connections and embark
on new opportunities. Thank you.