The power of story telling in breaking down barriers
[Music]
imagine
you’re sitting in a busy doctor’s clinic
waiting for an appointment the doctor’s
running late
so you’re growing impatient
the door finally opens and i step out
i call out your name as you rise from
your chair
i say hi my name is marwa
and i am the doctor who will be looking
after you today
how do you think you would respond in
that moment
it’s not a trick question but it seems
like a silly one right
the most obvious answer would be
something like
it’s nice to meet you or
how are you going or even
gee doc you’re running late today
but what if i told you that some of the
responses i have received to this
introduction
over the last few years have been things
like
no offense but i don’t like people like
you
or are you even a doctor i didn’t think
your foreign qualifications would
measure up here
or i only speak to people with
australian visas
i chose to laugh that one off by saying
it’s all good mate
i have an australian passport
when i tell my friends these stories
like many of you
they are shocked and yet research would
suggest that my experience
is not a unique one last year a survey
of one thousand and six australians
revealed
that 51 of respondents
harbored negative sentiments towards
islam
and yet that same study also revealed
that 47
of participants had no friends or very
few friends
from a background different to their own
now there was one important bias in this
study and that was that
the majority of respondents were from
the same cultural background
but still it raises an important point
that ignorance amongst other things
can lead to unfavorable sentiments
i mean i don’t consider ignorance to be
a bad thing
in fact i’d like to think that we’re all
tossed into its vast ocean
from the moment we’re born if we
acknowledge
and recognize our ignorance we can use
that energy
to swim towards shores of enlightenment
conversations are valuable lifeboats
in these murky waters because they allow
us to connect with others
to appreciate their perspectives and to
recognize our shared humanity
if we don’t swim or we don’t use these
lifeboats when we need them to
then we risk drowning in the same waters
that ironically could have pushed us
to new frontiers and what happens
when we drown we flail
and we may pull others down with us
it is estimated that the cost of racial
discrimination alone
to our nation is 38
billion every year we live in a nation
of rich cultural pluralism where the
opportunity to find
people of different backgrounds to
connect with should be endless
so back to my point about diverse
experiences within australia
and cultural pluralism
the original owners of this land
represent the world’s
oldest civilization
a quarter of australians were born
overseas
and a further 20 of australians have at
least one parent
who is a migrant so why aren’t we
connecting over our diverse experiences
when i was in primary school i would
often come home in tears
telling my parents that i had been
teased again
much of the teasing as you can imagine
gravitated around
my head scarf or my hijab
one day my father sat me down and he
told me that it sounded like
most of these kids were probably curious
because they probably
hadn’t met someone who wore a hijab
before and this was true
because i was the only kid in my school
who wore one
he suggested that i asked the teacher
for an opportunity
to stand in front of my class and
explain what it meant to me
he said that if i did that chances are
most of the students would understand
and leave me alone
so picture mini-me standing in front of
this class
knees knocking wildly you can’t imagine
how daunting it was
i had very few friends at the time and
even less confidence
so it took some serious mustering of
courage
to stand in front of that class and say
a few simple words
what i said was not particularly
monumental
nor was it really eloquent but it was
enough
enough to humanize me to all those
children
to allow them to understand that
underneath it all
we were the same i was a kid just like
them
and i wanted the same things that they
did
to get through school to enjoy a
carefree childhood and
ultimately to be accepted
amazingly after that day and after that
simple talk i was largely left alone for
the remainder of time
that i spent at that school
it was the most crucial lesson i would
learn and one i have carried with me
throughout my life the power of
storytelling
in breaking down barriers
without knowing someone’s story we fail
to look at them beyond the biases we
attribute to them
or the stereotypes that we attach to
them
we are all human infallible
we all hold these biases even if it’s
uncomfortable to admit
or we don’t have the insight to do so
we have a tendency to be weary of what
we don’t know
or what defies our social norms
but the problem with biases and
stereotypes is that they’re just so
limiting
they reduce living breathing people
with stories aspirations
and goals to voiceless caricatures
and if we let them go unchecked they can
into more damaging discrimination or
bigotry
a few years after this incident i was
now in a different school
i was in year nine and i found myself
being approached by the teacher
about another student we’ll call him
ahmed
he had recently migrated to australia
with his family and was having
extraordinary difficulty fitting in at
school
he was subject to severe bullying and
racism
this took on both a verbal form like go
back to where you came from
terrorists and also physical abuse
he was bashed so many times that the
matter ended up in court
and a restraining order was issued for
his protection
exasperated the teacher came to me a
year nine student
asking ideas on how to help
i told her that what had helped me had
been my story
and that’s how i found myself standing
in front of a sea of seventh grade
students
the overarching message of my talk was
about tolerance and harmony
but i used my own experiences to hone
the idea home
ahmed’s biggest bully sat in the
audience
later that day he approached me in the
schoolyard
as he called out my name and i saw him
coming i swallowed a little harder
images of him throwing ahmed to the
ground and pounding his head came to
mind which i had witnessed
i was nervous had my talk offended him
but my thoughts were interrupted by his
voice
he said i just wanted to thank you for
today
i really learned a lot from your talk
it turned out i had a lot to learn too
dr martin luther king jr once said
i am convinced that men hate each other
because they fear each other
they fear each other because they don’t
know each other
they don’t know each other because they
don’t communicate with each other
and they don’t communicate with each
other because they are separated
from each other what separates us
is courage the courage it takes
to call out our own bias
the courage it takes to recognize
injustice
or even the courage it takes to say a
simple hello
or strike up a conversation ahmed’s
bully
had that courage he had the courage
to engage with my story
to approach me and start a conversation
that allowed us
to connect and dispel some of the hatred
and intolerance that ahmad faced
and most importantly he taught me about
recognizing and addressing my own biases
since then i have made it my mission
to tell as many stories as possible
in as many settings as possible i’ve
also shared some of my stories
in writing to reach more people than i
ever could have imagined
more important than my stories have been
the conversations that they have led to
some of these conversations have been
with people who have found validation
or a voice through my story
perhaps because they too have been
discriminated against
or treated differently for the way they
choose to dress
or for their faith or for other things
like their gender
the color of their skin their accent
or their social status
chances are that many of you today will
be able to relate
as an example if we take you to be the
microcosm of australia
20 of you will have experienced racial
discrimination
in the past year
and although i am a big advocate about
being vocal and telling stories
there are many times in my life where i
have not had the words to say
sometimes this has been due to
a culmination of pointed stares
off-handed comments
constantly having to explain myself
so-called
microaggressions other times
it has happened at moments of great
vulnerability
like the time i was attacked with a
chair and all i could do was curl myself
up to cushion the blows all the times
more than one
when i had my head scarf ripped off my
head and i felt like my pride was ripped
off with it
on one of these occasions i was now an
adult
walking down a street with a friend
a woman approached us and stopped us
she opened her mouth and a barrage of
verbal abuse
was launched at me all racial slurs
shocked the both of us stood in silence
what we didn’t know was that further up
the road
there was a bus stop and at that bus
stop
there was a young man who had taken his
headphones out
and was listening
he made his way down to us and
intervened
it was his words not mine
that made her stop reconsider
and walk away i will never know his name
but i will always admire his courage
my message to each of you here today is
that you
all have the capacity the
power and the responsibility
to dismantle hatred and intolerance
in every interaction that you have
it doesn’t matter if you’re that little
kid who was once bullied and shared your
story
or if you’re that once bully who
connected with that story
or if you’re that ally at the bus stop
who is reframing the narrative
never underestimate the power of your
words
your stories and your conversations
as agents for change and they don’t have
to be big conversations
start with the people around you
so perhaps when you go home today
knock on your neighbor’s door say hello
or maybe when you go to work tomorrow
you know that person who keeps to
themselves and is generally quite quiet
approach them or maybe when you’re
scrolling on social media
that person you once had a spat with a
few years ago but you’re still connected
direct message them
our voices are so much more powerful and
far-reaching
if we all collectively speak up and show
up
thank you
thank you so much