What my burn scars taught me the power of kindness
[Applause]
i remember
being real into the operating room for
one of my many surgeries
with my mom by my side
my hands were sweaty my heart was
pounding
i tried so hard to control my tears
so my mom feels bad but i just
can’t i was just
eight years old that
was my 40th surgery
going in and out of the operating room
began when i was 14 months old
it was november 2009 and we were
vacationing chinatown
my then babysitter was pushing me a
stroller along a busy street market
when someone accidentally tripped and
spilled boiling water
all over my body
i was rushed to the hospital and placed
in the icu
the doctor told my mom that i had a very
little chance of surviving
my mom was having none of that clearly
all she wanted to know was how long will
it take my daughter’s recover
my mom has an amazing ability to see the
positives when it comes to me
the hospital condition in guangzhou
china was not the greatest
so my parents had me transferred to a
better hospital in hong kong
that week in hong kong was absolute
torture for my parents they had to make
a life-changing
decision for me to be air ambulance
to vancouver children’s hospital just
days for her christmas
this meant that i be treated at home
with the support of our closest friends
and family
i spent two months in the hospital going
through surgery after surgery
and was finally about to go home just
before the 2010 murder olympics
what you may not know is that scarred
skin
does not stretch so surgeries are needed
to increase mobility as a group
when i was three years old my mom’s wish
from usc run
now i can only run but i can dance
over the years my parents took me across
the world
la chicago boston
france and even korea to find the best
plastic trojans for me
it turned out that all journeys led back
to vancouver
it was there that i got the best care
that i could
all thanks to a caring and amazing
plastic surgeon
dr beshear my parents
the plastic team at children’s hospital
and members of the bc firefighters burn
fund
have been my heroes they are a huge part
of my physical
and menstrual recovery
i won’t stand here until it’s been easy
no no it hasn’t
but i have learned to face fear
pain and yes sometimes anger
there are times where i felt angry
towards being in the wrong place
at the wrong time and there are times
where i felt angry at why we were in
china in the first place
when i know better now i could have
happened anywhere
to anyone the way that i learned to deal
with this
is their acceptance once i put away
blame and resentment
i found it easier to afford
i don’t look like other kids
when most people meet me for the first
time they may notice my scars
and think to themselves i wonder what
happened
some give weird looks and that’s okay
people are just naturally curious
one way how i dealt with the stairs is
my mom’s reminder
that people just curious and not trying
to judge me
so most times i respond with a smile
responding to stairs with kindness
instead of embarrassment lets others
feel more comfortable to be around me
when other people look at me i smile at
them
if i’m lucky they’ll smile back but at
least i don’t think i mean
going through trauma as a kid can either
be what makes me or breaks me
trauma is a fact of life for so many
people but it doesn’t have to be a life
sentence
my scars have become a part of me it
makes me who i
am when i look at myself in the mirror
i see scars but i also see me
and instead of filling myself with pity
i fill myself with hope
i tell myself that i’m smart i am
morally and i’m good enough
if i’m not kind to myself then how can i
expect other people to be kind to me
my accent has taught me i choose not to
be a burn victim
because i am a burn survivor
i choose to respond kindness over
resentment
i choose to live a meaningful life
rather than just staying alive
experiencing trauma changes you and the
best way to live with it
is to leave something bigger and better
than our limitations
we are not defined by our past
our past prepares us for the future
i hope that whenever you see a person
with a disability
or scars like me you’ll choose
to respond kindness give them a smile
because a smile will go a long way today
i live with purpose and i’m excited
about the future
a future where i can thank my parents
for all their love
and support a future
where i can be a plastic surgeon just
like dr rasheer
who has a brilliant mind and a caring
heart
and a future where i can be an
inspiration to everyone
who has suffered trauma
i choose to believe that people have the
best intentions
i choose to see a world of kindness
we are who we choose to become
you