The demise of guys Philip Zimbardo
but today I want us to reflect on the
demise of guys guys are flaming out
academically they’re wiping out socially
with girls and sexually with women other
than that is not much of a problem so
what’s the data so the data on dropping
out is amazing boys are more than 30
percent more likely than girls to drop
out of school in Canada five boys drop
out for every three girls girls
outperform boys now at every level from
elementary school to graduate school
there’s a ten percent differential
between getting bas and all graduate
programs with guys BR falling behind
girls two-thirds of all students in
special ed remedial programs are guys
and as you all know the boys are 5 times
more likely than girls to be labeled as
having attention deficit disorder and
therefore we drug them with ritalin
what’s the evidence a billion white of
wiping out first it’s a new fear of
intimacy intimacy means physical
emotional connection with somebody else
and especially with somebody of the
opposite sex who gives off ambiguous
contradictory phosphorescent signals
and every year there’s research done on
self-reported shyness among college
students and we’re seeing a steady
increase among males and this is two
kinds it’s a social awkwardness the old
shyness was a fear rejection it’s a
social awkwardness like you’re a
stranger in a foreign land they don’t
know to say they don’t want know to do
especially one on one opposite sex they
don’t know the language of face contact
the nonverbal and verbal set of rules
that enable you to comfortably talk to
somebody else
listen to somebody else there’s
something I’ve developed here called
social intensity syndrome which tries to
account for why guys really prefer male
bonding over female mating it turns out
from earliest childhood boys and then
men prefer the company of guys physical
company and it’s actually a cortical
arousal we’re looking at because guys
have been with guys in in teams in clubs
in gangs and fraternities especially in
the military and then in pubs and this
peaks at Super Bowl Sunday when guys
would rather be in a bar with strangers
watching a totally overdressed Aaron
Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers rather
than Jennifer Lopez totally naked in the
bedroom the problem is they now prefer a
synchronistic internet world to the
spontaneous interaction and social
relationships what are the causes well
it’s an unintended consequence I think
it’s excessive internet use in general
excessive video gaming excessive new
access to pornography the problem is
these are arousal addictions drug
addiction simply want more arousal
addiction you want different drugs you
want more of the same difference so you
need the novelty of the arousal you need
to be sustained and the problem is the
industry is supplying it Jane McGonigal
told us last year that by the time of
boys 21 that he’s played ten thousands
of video games most of that in isolation
as you remember Cindy Gallup said boys
don’t know the difference between making
love men between making love and doing
porn the average boy now watches 50 porn
video clips a week and then some guy
watching 100 obviously and the porn
industry
and the porn industry is the fastest
growing industry America 15 billion
annually for every 400 movies made in
Hollywood there 11,000 now made a point
important videos so the effects very
quickly is it’s a new kind of arousal
boys brains are being digitally rewired
in a totally new way for change novelty
excitement and constant arousal that
means they’re totally out of sync in
traditional classes which are analog
static and interactive passive they’re
also totally out of sync in romantic
relationships which build gradually and
subtly so what’s the solution it’s not
my job I’m here to along it’s your job
to come but Canisius but who should care
the only people should care about this
is parents are boys and girls educators
gamers filmmakers and women who would
like a real man who they can talk to who
can dance who can make love slowly and
contribute to the evolutionary pressures
to keep our species above banana slugs
no offense to banana slug owners thank
you