Finding your own purpose in helping others
[Music]
so
every day we come across that person
whether it’s a classmate trying to
understand their homework assignment
a friend needing someone to talk to or a
homeless person struggling to survive
we are left with a choice should i help
them
or should i pretend as if i didn’t see
anything and move on my day
it may not affect us at that time and
place but if you can’t see the bigger
picture
or the benefit that comes from helping
others we are left with not only one
but two disappointed people
without caring for the well-being of
others we deprive ourselves of love
and diminish our sense of belonging in
the community
imagine smiling at your friends and
family or even the strangers on the
street
you have a nice conversation where you
encourage and empower them to be the
best version of themselves
at the end of the day everyone is not
only thankful
but also happier and healthier because
they know
that someone out there cares
this does sound idealistic and you might
be thinking
the world isn’t that simple and yes it
isn’t
but having a simple goal makes it a
little bit easier to progress
forward today i will be talking about
the importance of being more willing to
help others in need
followed by a mindset we should adopt to
ensure that we can help others
successfully
and selflessly when i was a child
i visited india during the summers and i
would love going out to the mall
and to my cousin’s place my family and i
traveled in an auto rickshaw a
transportation vehicle
the delhi streets were lively filled
with colorful banners
small shops and people of all different
ages
the cars were honking and they were
breathing past us
and i could hear the faint twinkling
sound coming from the temples in the
background
i spent the rickshaw ride looking
outside
observing the scenery and talking to my
family
but when i saw the traffic lights turned
red
we paused i noticed homeless children
parents and grandparents walking from
car to car
asking for money at that moment
i felt embarrassed i suddenly watched
them
go to the rickshaw next to ours knocking
on the side frame of the rickshaw
pleading for the passenger’s attention
but being dismissed
right away then they came to our
rickshaw
i didn’t know what to do the girl
who looked younger than me was holding
her baby sister
in her arms she held out her palm
but i slowly shaked my head
she spoke softly please didi
which means please sister in hindi
i’m sorry i said turning away to avoid
looking into her eyes
the traffic lights then turned green and
the rickshaw
started up again leaving the two sisters
behind
from the roadway full of cars puffing
smoke
i was surprised when i saw
that the children didn’t have any
reaction
they didn’t look shocked or sad
it seemed as if rejection was normal to
them
being an indian child born in the u.s
and raised in japan i was privileged to
have an international experience
and to have received an opportunity to
study at a japanese
school to an extent i was happy with my
life
i was extremely grateful but i realized
that whenever i would return to india
i would view the homeless children on
the streets as inferior
i was constantly told that they didn’t
have jobs because they refused to work
hard
and that even when they were given money
they used it to purchase alcohol
or drugs
they don’t deserve the attention
soon enough i came to believe that as
well
i started to develop a superiority
complex
where i justified my superiority
compared to those in poverty
even if it wasn’t intentional
i wanted to be a kinder person but my
motivation in helping others
was not selfless i did it because i
wanted to feel good about myself
but you might think that this is
counterintuitive
how can you be selfish and selfless at
the same time
should you be selfish in order to be
selfless
these are completely opposite words but
as human beings
we have the capacity to inherit both
behaviors
the question comes down to how we can
utilize both behaviors
for the better
first we need to let go of the
expectation that our intentions have to
be perfectly selfless
when i first started helping those in
need i did feel good about myself
and i was thinking about the praises i
would receive afterwards
my main goal was simply to make an
impact without focusing on my intentions
although our intentions may be selfish
in the beginning
we gradually do gain the ability to
become selfless
the more we help people the more natural
it feels
helping others becomes a habit
unconsciously we start to focus our
attention on the people we’re helping
instead of the benefits we gain from it
the process of selflessness begins there
when the benefits we gain
become the mere side effect of our
actions
not the main goal there are many reasons
as to why we don’t help others in need
in large groups of people we feel that
we don’t need to help other people
because someone else might do it as well
other times we don’t want to do
something that is completely different
to what others are doing
because we rely on our surroundings to
make these decisions
if your group of friends ignores someone
that’s in need
why should you we are influenced by
these details
when it comes to doing something that
does not conform to societal norms
on the other hand it might not always be
practical to help
every person that we see
according to psychology today when our
emotional costs are deemed too high
we are far less inclined to exhibit
adaptive helping behavior
for example if you are going through
problems of your own
or were not feeling well you would not
be able to devote as much energy
or provide the right support for another
person
previously i ignored the children that
would come
asking for help i hesitated in taking
that step
because of the numerous stereotypes that
i was taught about people in poverty
however i was determined to make changes
when i encountered similar children a
few years later
i started focusing on taking small
actions
like carrying candies in my pocket
when i gave a little girl a piece of
haichu
for example she first looked very
confused by the tiny gray colored block
i placed on her hands
but then when she realized it was candy
she smiled
ate the candy and moved on to the next
car i felt accomplished and was
encouraged to help more people
yes my main goal in the beginning was to
make an impact
while feeling good about myself but as i
kept trying to do
random acts of kindness each day it
became
like the desire i had to care for the
well-being of others
overpowered the selfish intentions
we all have the capacity to be selfish
and selfless
in fact we need to be both
in my case selflessness was a process
a goal that i wanted to achieve but
before i could even think about that
i had to embrace the idea that being
selfish
was okay this was how i discovered my
own purpose in helping others
that’s not to say that there is an end
goal or limit
to how we can become a better person
because that will always be
a work in progress
bringing out little pieces of candy and
giving small
change was a small step but it was a
step in the right direction
i began to recognize our role in helping
people
and was more excited to do so
even then now that i’m thousands of
miles away from india where i first
learned about this
i am still able and i’m trying to apply
those habits in my everyday school
setting
consider the teaspoon of change movement
teaspoons of change are defined as small
but significant ideas
attitudes and actions that have a
positive impact on the planet
the small changes we make in our
everyday life
will accumulate into large changes this
way
we can make a profound difference on
those around us
if we make helping others a habit it
will be amazing
five years ago the united nations
announced their goal to eradicate
poverty by 2030
however the world poverty clock has
claimed
that there are still 720 million people
living under extreme poverty today
although substantial efforts are being
made to help tackle this issue
we are still facing a step back due to
the devastating effects of the kova 19
pandemic
it may not always be feasible to donate
to charities or organizations
but we can still control the small
actions we take each day
during this pandemic many people are
helping those who are most vulnerable
by for example delivering medicine
groceries or daily necessities
children are like writing letters to
elderly homes
and students are raising awareness about
social distancing
this shows that we really do need
everyone’s cooperation
and that we need to use our privilege to
help others overcome their own
challenges
as well so that we can create a stronger
community
together if we make
helping others a habit you’re not only
creating value in your interactions
but you’re also increasing the
probability of having a world
where more children could receive a
better education
students could feel confident
adults could pursue their dreams
and more people could have a higher
standard of living
with that now it’s time to ask yourself
how can you make an impact by helping
others and what steps can you take to do
it more often
we all have the capacity to be selfless
so now is a time to start small and keep
building on it
thank you