Finding Your Purpose Other Urban Legends
[Music]
did you know that studies show
that people who have a strong sense of
purpose
about their lives while they make more
money
they also live longer they have better
sleep
they have a lower risk for dementia
they have fewer heart attacks and
strokes
studies also show that people who are
searching for their life purpose
well they have a higher degree of
worsening their health
both physically and mentally
so on one hand if you know your purpose
you’re going to be happier healthier and
wealthier
and on the other hand if you don’t know
your purpose
well you’re pretty much screwed
sorry
imagine waking up in the morning every
morning
knowing exactly that what you’re doing
here
on the planet knowing exactly what you
were created for and you were fulfilling
it
can you imagine the confidence that you
would feel about
every decision that you make because
you’re in perfect alignment
with your divine purpose
well you don’t have to imagine that
because by the end of this talk
you can actually walk away with your
purpose
i believe that each one of us has a
divine purpose
that it is our right and our destiny to
live that purpose and that the world
would be a much better place to live if
we were all
living our purpose
i want you to think about whether you
know your purpose
what is it what could it possibly be
now i’m not the only one that believes
this you know this has been coming
through the ages
all the greats have said something about
the purpose
your purpose how to find your purpose
buddha said in fact that your purpose is
actually to find your purpose
gandhi said find purpose the means will
follow
i like that mark twain quote about the
two most important days of your life is
one the day you were born and two the
day you find out why
well that’s all great because well every
seminar that i’ve been to in the last 10
years
whether it be professional or personal
development
they all want to know your purpose it’s
all about finding that purpose because
why
if you know your purpose wow
everything’s going to fall into place
right
i mean your business is going to take
off and you’re never going to have to
work another day in your life you’re
going to be working your passion you’re
going to make a gazillion dollars and
you’re going to be so happy you’re gonna
marry the right person
everything’s gonna fall into place
i paid a lot for those seminars
we want to have and know that we’re
doing the right thing
we want to know our purpose it’s innate
but the problem is
only 25 according to those studies
actually have any clue about what their
purpose is
the rest of us we don’t have a clue
and we keep searching and searching and
searching
i often work with mission-driven
entrepreneurs who want to make
a difference in the world and i love
working with these people because
they’re driven
they’re passionate they want to make a
difference and they’re out there
doing it they’re doing their best
the problem is that there’s this
underlying angst
that they’re maybe not quite doing their
purpose or
maybe it’s not the right purpose or
maybe their purpose isn’t big enough
and it really wears on them and those
are the people who actually know their
purpose
the ones who don’t they go from niche to
niche to niche
trying to find the right project the
right product
that was actually going to show them
what their purpose is
well i work with these people and my
client carol
she was very similar in that she had a
passion project
that she really wanted to turn into a
business and make it flourish but
it wasn’t as successful as she wanted it
to be
so she you know i mean it made sense
because after all she
was so busy working on everything else
and she was helping her husband built
his business she had a huge family and
elderly parents she took care of and she
had kids she had
outside investments that she had to
manage
she was so busy that and she was
exhausted all the time
she felt awful she felt unfulfilled
she was really wearing on her body her
body was always sore
she didn’t know what to do
the real cost of her putting her dreams
on hold
were far greater than that and i was
about to find out
why in my own life you see i was a lot
like carol
really super busy my hands were in
everything
i was working with my husband on
building our family business
i was teaching kickboxing and having fun
i was
you know doing things with my family and
my kids
my grandkids trying to really do
everything i also had my own coaching
business
which was a full-time job i was doing on
the side
i was so busy until one day
it all fell apart
it was a thursday morning i got up early
to pay some bills and i was
sitting down at my computer and i was
online going through some credit card
statements when i came across
this expense that i didn’t recognize and
with a little further investigation
i saw that it was for an apartment in
hawaii
for a month that’s strange
is my husband going to try and take me
on a vacation our business is closed
things are really tough right now
because we’re in the middle of a
pandemic
and why why would he do that without
talking to me
i looked a little further and sure
enough there was airline reservations
but they were for one one way
that’s how i found out my husband was
moving to hawaii
now he said he wasn’t leaving me i mean
it’s a free world you can
come if you want to but he was leaving
and the next two weeks were a complete
blur
there was dividing up of accounts and
assets and
there was packing and shipping vehicles
and i was completely numb
i didn’t know what to do
i mean it wasn’t just about being left
or
it wasn’t about another person it was
about who
am i if i’m not taking care of someone
else if i’m
not working a business that’s making a
difference in other people’s lives then
what am i doing and what is my value
and why am i here
i became severely depressed and i went
to bed
and i didn’t want to get out
i wanted my burning bush moment
okay i wanted the heavens to open up and
tell me what my purpose was
i needed written instructions now okay
like
a stone tablet would be nice
but there was no burning bush there was
no voice
there was no tablet there was only
silence
it got so bad that one night i was
laying in bed it was about four o’clock
in the morning
and my heart is pounding out of my chest
it’s shaking the bed
i’m laying on my stomach is in knots my
head is throbbing
my throat is sore my eyes are completely
burning from
crying and screaming and writhing in
pain
i just didn’t think i could go on i
didn’t know what i was doing
i felt completely lost completely on my
own
and i said to myself mel seriously
is this what you’re doing is this what’s
actually happening
is this what you’re going to do
you may not know your purpose
but what do you want your purpose to be
what do i want my purpose to be
and it was in that moment that i decided
today was the day
i realized the power of choice
you know that’s what carol did too
carol made the decision that she was an
artist
she decided that her purpose was to
bring
beauty into the world and to share that
with
everyone and bring the artist in to
everyone
bring the artist out of everyone around
her she became a best-selling author
she started making an income from that
art business
and was able to spend less time at it so
she could be with her family
in this process i learned a lot about
what is purpose
your purpose is not lost okay you don’t
have to go find it’s not hiding on you
it’s actually inside of you
your purpose isn’t going to be delivered
to you from some outside source
there isn’t some predetermined destiny
that’s going to happen
for you and to you
and your purpose is not just one thing
it’s going to change and evolve and you
can actually change it at will
your purpose is your decision it’s
actually an integration
of who you are with what you’re doing
it’s not about what you’re doing
it’s about those values that make you
you
integrating what’s my purpose
well i couldn’t come up with one on my
own so i decided to borrow one from one
of the greats
mother teresa said that we all have a
purpose
it’s to love and be loved
i like that it works for me right now
because it’s more about being than it is
about doing
i’ve been doing enough doing
so i’m going to wear that one for a
while until
i decide something else because it’s
just that simple
how about for you do you know what your
purpose is
well it’s just time to pick one because
the dirty little secret about purpose
is that you just make it up
just pick something anything doesn’t
matter it can be
small can be something sweet it can be
big it doesn’t matter
just decide because it’s coming from
that intention of what your purpose is
that’s going to actually make you
wealthier healthier and happier
at the end of the day it’s not about
whether you have purpose or whether
you’re searching
for purpose it’s that you’re living
purposefully
purpose fully
thank you
you