Black Tax in the 21st Century

[Music]

have you ever met a highly opinionated

person

and by this person i’m talking about

that one uncle

that usually comes in drunk or the other

uncle that

um thinks he’s lived through seven to

eight generations

let me see if i can bring it home for

you have you

ever been summoned into a family meeting

so mostly family meetings range from

a cousin who got pregnant to the

favorite niece who is getting married

either one of them most of the times you

find that the family members the uncles

or the aunts

do come to a consensus so you find that

it’s very unfortunate for the cousin

why because the ants that know it all

will come and throw stones and we will

also find that for the favorite niece

we have uncles that are determined to

the young man

that is coming so they’ll all want to

discuss the wedding

they’ll all want to talk about how much

we should tell him to pay they all have

experience

all in all so at the end of the day

these people

do come up with a solution whether

it’s sending the pregnant cousin to

the baby daddy or it’s coming up with an

amount of money

for the favorite niece but today i want

us to talk about the elephant in the

room that is never discussed

in these family meetings especially by

that one uncle

children are not a retirement plan

let’s talk about black tax so i know

this phenomenon for some of us who are

privileged might not know it

but for some of us most of us actually

are going through it

so a definition for you black tax is the

money that is expected

from us by our families it is embedded

it is expected with no excuses

so now in my peer group today

you’ll find that a lot of young people

today

are pushing at entry-level positions

they are very innovative at startups

they are brilliant entrepreneurs they

are changing the narrative in these huge

corporations

and also they are actually earning

slightly above the minimum wage

so they’re making good money and by good

money let’s say for argument’s sake

between four five and maybe some way

twelve thousand quacha

but but their money

is not their money so the black child

between the ages of 18 and 40

have inherited this black tax we’ve

inherited

burdens so our parents

uncompromising out of love spend

thousands of thousands of questions on

us

from birth to the time that we get our

independence

but the million dollar question i don’t

know if it’s the million question

question now is

are we then supposed to pay it all back

i don’t know if joey mentioned that i

was a financial advisor so

maybe just maybe i might be speaking

from an expert point of view

so today i want us to for you to think

about this and by the time i’m done

speaking

i want you to choose which side of the

coin you fall back on

so there’s this phenomenon nowadays

called financial planning

and worth creation and financial freedom

that no one wants to discuss in these

family meetings

before i go any further how many of us

in here

were raised by an aunt

a sister or even parent

well i’ll try to think that every one of

us didn’t raise ourselves yeah

so every one of us were raised by

someone but let me ask you this question

how many of us feel obliged or obligated

to send the money every single month

because they’ll think

you’re ungrateful

don’t raise your hand you might be

sitting next to the person that raised

you

i don’t want you caught into a family

meeting

the one thing that i want us to do is

take this

with a pinch of salt i’m not saying

let’s abuse

black tax i’ll give you an example of

someone that i read up

someone called boy to melo so boy to

melo is based in ese

he’s a branch manager a bank branch

manager and he had these sentiments to

say

he said black tax is not as bad as you

are trying to determine

we are africans we’re raised by

communities

and also let us not westernize our

cultures

let us not embrace things that are

coming from abroad

and try to introduce it in our cultures

we are africans

yes but then he goes on to say

because africans don’t have generational

wealth

that means i am to take care of everyone

else

so that caught my attention he said

generation world i’m glad he admitted it

i’m glad that he said that

but he didn’t leave out reality so what

is this

generational wealth let’s talk about

this today

and of course i am talking to

parents i’m talking to future mothers

and future fathers or current

parents children are not your retirement

plan

you are not having five kids to multiply

their income by

five only for you to know how much

you’re going to be earning in your

retirement

so the one thing that i need us to

understand is

black tax is black tax let’s not get rid

of it

but i want you to understand that i do

not want your child

graduating thinking that when my dad or

my mother calls

hell will rain down if i answer that i

do not have fans so there’s this

phenomenon like i mentioned

that is called generational wealth

so there are always two sides to this

coin

like i mentioned let’s not abuse black

tax but let’s change the narrative

you wouldn’t die let’s keep it of course

we can’t even change it overnight

but the good part is most of us in here

are between the ages of 18 and 14.

that means you and i it starts here

or maybe it ends here whichever way

we’re only changing the narrative

let’s leave it as black tax but let our

children

give back from a point of love and not

obligation

the reason why i say this is right now

you currently have an

income you don’t know that 20 years post

you will not be as strong you will not

be as young so what

are you doing about it i’m saying some

of us are comfortable

i’m saying some of us are actually happy

giving back

and i’ll make reference to this the

bible

says uh a wise man

leaves wealth for his children’s

children

being a christian nation let’s abide by

that

also the same bible tells us to honor

our

parents so the beauty about this is

it is balanced but what i need you to

understand

is let us raise our children

not for them to pay us back how about we

start passing on wealth

and not burdens how about we become

the generation that starts that

particular innovation

so let old traditions marry with 21st

century traditions

we’re not changing anything let’s say

let’s honor our parents

but parents do not come at us

saying because i birthed you mwanango

pay me back you ungrateful child

those those those are the sentiments we

get

and honestly speaking we cannot speak

back

why because we are africans we respect

our parents and i speak from a point of

respect

another thing also we don’t like to talk

about

the things that goes through the minds

of

men so immediately two young people get

married

guess what whatever my daughter used to

send me is supposed to double

why because we have another

another child on the other side which is

the husband

but when are you going to think about

that man first providing for his nuclear

family before he can look at you

have you ever thought about it have you

ever thought about how this man

has to tour the ground how he can’t even

share these sentiments with you

why because you expect him to sell his

house sell his car

because he drives a car saying and this

is the narrative now

you’re going to pass on the burden to

the wife and say because

of the woman that he married he doesn’t

send us much money

but the one thing that you felt to do as

an individual was passed on generational

world

guess what you are passing on burdens so

you expect this young

person this young man to provide for you

whilst still providing for his family

black

tax also when you have five children

you expect the first born to take care

of the siblings

inherited black tux another person who’s

been raised by their aunt

feels in the back of their mind because

my aunt

raised me i should take care of

my cousin her child subconscious

it’s gratitude but let’s be honest you

just don’t want to be called into a

family meeting

so let’s talk about these things the way

we are vocal and opinionated in our

family meetings

let’s change the narrative about black

tax let’s talk about it in a different

way

what is generational wealth

what is financial freedom let’s borrow

some of these thoughts that go through

our

our friends like the lebanese

and the indians so you’ll find that for

the indian or the lebanese family

the grandfather had a hardware store the

son

had a restaurant and

his son is going to own a clothing store

that is generational wealth so on top of

that they’re not

sitting waiting saying because my

grandfather had a hardware store

they pass on the knowledge of

generational wealth why

because you are going to have a family

of your own and you cannot depend on

what your grandfather did

so how about we pass on such cultures in

the same family meetings

how about we stop stunning that young

lady that got pregnant

yes we do make mistakes yes it

gives us joy when our favorite niece is

getting married and that is the only

reason we come together

but let us change the narrative let us

call family meetings and tell them

saying

please do not call our daughter when an

uncle has swallowed a shovel in the

village

you cannot save a 2 000 quarter without

receiving an emergency

i’m not saying let’s not give we’ve been

raised by the community

we are part of a community we are

africans we thrive

because of the community but i want us

to graduate

to go into this world thinking

saying you know what my mother is

michael i

love my father to death lord knows this

but you need to understand that i have

obligations

i have things that run through my head

there are certain days when

things heaven is not so close

but maybe just maybe in as much as he

loves me he might not understand

it’s coming from a point of love so let

us change the narrative

like i said take this with a pinch of

salt you might take it you might not

it might affect you it might not but one

way

or another 20 years post which parent

are you going to be

are you going to be the one that

terrorizes your children

because they did not send back or are

you the one that bugs them from a point

of love and say honey

it is my birthday i need some flowers

or even on days when there’s an

emergency you sit down your child and

say

manango at a certain point

i need this but because we’re africans

parents don’t have that approach it’s

either you do

or you don’t and if you don’t i’m sorry

so let’s change the narrative we are

young

we are working we are still very young

and because we live

in this integrated world

that is moving at a very fast pace means

in this room i can guarantee you most of

us are successes

just by the bare fact that you came to a

ted talk

so that in its own attributes the fact

that you

are bound to make a significant amount

of money

by the time you get to retirement start

planning

for your retirement because children are

not a retirement plan

have children out of love and not for

income purposes

i might say too much but let he

who has an ear here thank you

[音乐]

你有没有遇到过一个自以为是

的人,我说的

那个通常喝醉酒的叔叔或者

那个我认为他已经活了七到

八代的叔叔

让我看看我能不能带来它 home for

you 你有

没有被叫去参加家庭会议

所以大多数家庭会议的范围从

怀孕的表亲到

要结婚的最喜欢的侄女,

大多数时候你

发现家庭成员是叔叔

或阿姨

达成共识 所以你会发现这

对表弟来说很不幸

为什么因为知道这一切的蚂蚁

会来扔石头 我们

也会发现对于最喜欢的侄女

我们有叔叔决心让

年轻人瘫痪

即将到来,所以他们都想

讨论婚礼

他们都想讨论

我们应该告诉他付多少钱他们都有

经验

,所以在一天结束时,

这些人

确实出现了 有一个解决方案,

无论是将怀孕的堂兄

送到婴儿爸爸那里,还是为最喜欢的侄女

提供一笔钱

,但今天我想让

我们谈谈房间里的大象,这

在这些家庭会议中从未讨论过,尤其是

那个 一个叔叔的

孩子不是退休计划

让我们谈谈黑人税,所以我知道

这种现象对于我们中的一些

享有特权的人可能不知道,

但对于我们中的一些人来说,我们中的大多数人实际上

正在经历它,

所以你的黑人税的定义是

我们的家人期望我们的钱 它是嵌入的

它是没有任何借口的预期

所以现在在我今天的同龄人群体中,

你会发现今天很多年轻人

都在推动入门级职位

他们在初创公司非常创新

他们是出色的企业家,他们

正在改变这些大公司的叙述方式

,而且他们的收入实际上

略高于最低工资,

所以他们赚了很多钱,而且赚到了很多

钱 说是

为了四五和一

万二千夸恰之间的争论

,但他们的钱

不是他们的钱,所以

18 到 40 岁之间的黑人孩子

继承了这个黑人税,我们

继承了

负担,所以我们的父母

毫不妥协 从出生到我们获得独立的那一刻,爱在我们身上花费

了成千上万个问题,

但百万美元的问题,我不

知道现在是否是百万个问题

,我们是否应该把所有的

钱都还给我? 不知道乔伊是否提到我

是一名财务顾问,所以

也许我可能是

从专家的角度发言,

所以今天我希望我们让你考虑

一下,当我

说完时,

我希望你 选择

你依靠硬币的哪一面,

所以现在有一种现象

称为财务规划

、价值创造和财务自由

,在我进一步讨论之前,没有人愿意在这些

家庭会议上

讨论 如果我们

在这里

是由

阿姨、姐妹甚至

父母抚养长大的,我会尽量认为我们每个人

都没有抚养自己是的,

所以我们每个人都是由某人抚养长大的,

但让我问你这个问题有

多少 我们中的每个人都觉得有义务或

有义务每个月寄钱,

因为他们会认为

你忘恩负义

不要举手 你可能

坐在抚养你的人旁边

我不希望你被卷入家庭

会议

我想让我们做的一件事就是

加一点盐我不是说

让我们滥用

黑税我会给你一个我读过的人的例子

有人叫男孩到甜瓜所以男孩到

甜瓜是基于 在 ese,

他是一个分行经理,一个银行分行

经理,他有这样的情绪

他说黑税没有

你试图确定

我们是非洲人那么糟糕,我们是由社区抚养长大的

,也让我们不要西化我们的

文化

让我们 不要接受

来自国外的东西

并尝试介绍 在我们的文化中,

我们是非洲人,

是的,但他接着说,

因为非洲人没有世代相传的

财富

,这意味着我要照顾

其他

所有人,这引起了我的注意,他说

世代世界,我很高兴他承认了这一点

我很高兴他这么说,

但他并没有忽略现实,所以这

一代的财富是什么让我们

今天来谈谈这个

,当然我是在和

父母说话,我是在和未来的母亲

和未来的父亲或现在的

父母说话 不是您的退休

计划,

您没有五个孩子,

他们的收入乘以

五只是为了让您知道退休后

您将获得多少收入,

所以我需要我们了解的一件事

黑色税就是黑色税让我们 不要

摆脱它,

但我想让你明白,我

不希望你的孩子

毕业时认为如果我回答说我没有粉丝,当我爸爸或

妈妈打电话给

地狱时会下雨

所以

就像我提到的

这种现象是 所谓世代财富,

所以这枚硬币总是有两个方面,

就像我提到的让我们不要滥用黑色

税,但让我们改变

你不会死的叙述让我们保留它当然

我们甚至不能在一夜之间改变它,

但好的部分是大部分 我们这里

的年龄在 18 到 14 岁之间。

这意味着你和我从这里开始,

或者可能从这里结束,无论哪种方式,

我们只是改变叙述,

让我们把它作为黑色税,但让我们的

孩子

从一个点回馈 爱而不是

义务

我说这个的原因是现在

你现在有

收入 你不知道 20 年后

你不会那么强壮 你

不会那么年轻 所以

你在做什么 我在说

我们中的一些人很舒服

我是说我们中的一些人实际上很乐意

回馈

,我会参考

圣经

说,嗯,一个聪明

人为他的孩子的孩子留下财富

作为一个基督教国家,让我们遵守

同样的圣经 告诉我们要尊重

我们的

p 所以,这件事的美妙之处在于

它是平衡的,但我需要你

理解的

是,让我们抚养我们的孩子,

而不是让他们回报我们如何我们

开始传递财富

而不是负担我们如何成为

开始那个特定的一代

创新

所以让古老的传统与 21

世纪的传统相结合

我们不会改变任何东西

让我们尊重我们的父母,

但父母不会来对我们

说,因为我生了你 mwanango

还给我你这个忘恩负义的孩子,

那些就是我们得到的情感

, 老实说,我们无法

反驳为什么因为我们是非洲人,我们尊重

我们的父母,我从尊重的角度说

另一件事,我们也不喜欢谈论

男人心中的事情,所以两个年轻人马上结婚

猜猜我女儿以前

寄给我的东西应该加倍

为什么因为我们

在另一边还有另一个孩子

是丈夫

但是你什么时候 会想到

那个男人在看你之前首先要养活他的核心

家庭

你有没有想过

这个男人如何必须巡回演出他甚至无法

与你分享这些情绪

为什么因为 你期望他卖掉他的

房子 卖掉他的车

因为他开着车 说这

就是现在的叙述

你要把负担

转嫁给妻子 说因为

他结婚的那个女人 他没有

寄给我们太多 钱,

但你作为个人觉得要做的一件事

是代代相传的,

猜猜你在传递什么负担,所以

你希望这个

年轻人这个年轻人为你提供

食物,同时在你有的时候也为他的家庭黑人税提供 五个

孩子 你希望长子

照顾兄弟姐妹

继承黑色燕尾服 另一个

被姑妈抚养长大的人

在他们的脑海里感到因为

我姑姑

抚养我 我应该照顾

我的表弟 他 r 孩子

潜意识是感激,但老实说,你

只是不想被召集参加

家庭会议,

所以让

我们以我们在

家庭会议上的

表达和固执己见的方式谈论这些事情让我们改变关于黑色税的叙述

让我们谈谈它 换一种方式

什么是世代财富

什么是财务自由 让我们借用

我们的黎巴嫩人和印度人等朋友的一些想法,

这样你就会发现,

对于印度人或黎巴嫩家庭来说

,祖父有一家五金店

儿子开

了一家餐馆,

他的儿子将拥有一家代代相传的服装店

,除此之外

,他们不会

坐在那里等着说,因为我

祖父有一家五金店,

他们传授了

代代相传的财富知识,为什么

因为你要去 拥有自己的家庭

,你不能依赖

你祖父的所作所为,

那么我们在同一个家庭会议上传递这些文化

怎么样? 最令人惊叹的

那位怀孕的年轻女士

是的,我们确实犯了错误是的,

当我们最喜欢的侄女结婚时,这给了我们快乐

,这是

我们聚在一起的唯一原因,

但让我们改变叙述让我们

召集家庭会议并告诉他们

请 当叔叔在村里吞下了铲子时,不要打电话给我们的女儿 如果

没有紧急情况,您无法节省 2 000 美分

硬币 我不是说我们不要放弃 我们是

由社区抚养长大的,

我们是社区的一部分

非洲人,我们

因社区而繁荣,但我希望

我们毕业

后进入这个世界,想着

说你知道我的母亲是

迈克尔,我

爱我的父亲至死上帝知道这一点,

但你需要明白我有义务

我有事情要做 在我的脑海

里,有些日子,

天堂并不是那么近,

但也许就像他爱我一样多,

他可能不明白

这是出于爱,所以让

我们换个说法

像我说的那样,带一点盐吃这个,

你可能会吃,你可能不会

,它可能不会影响你,它可能不会,但一个

或另一个 20 年后,

你将成为哪个父母,

你会成为那个恐吓你的人吗?

孩子们,

因为他们没有送回去,或者

你是那个从

爱的角度让他们烦恼的人,说亲爱的,

这是我的生日我需要一些鲜花

,甚至在有紧急情况的日子里,

你让你的孩子坐下来,

在某个时候说 manango

我需要这个,但因为我们是非洲人的

父母没有这种方法,要么你有,

要么你没有,如果你没有,我很抱歉,

所以让我们改变叙述我们还

年轻,

我们正在工作,我们还在 非常年轻

,因为我们生活

在这个

以非常快的速度发展的一体化世界中,

这意味着在这个房间里,我可以向你们保证,

我们中的大多数人都是成功的,

仅仅因为你们参加了一个

ted 演讲,

因此就其自身的特点而言, 事实上

你一定会做出重大贡献

退休时的金额 开始为您的退休

计划

,因为孩子

不是退休

计划 出于爱而不是为了收入目的生孩子

我可能会说得太多,但

让有心的人在这里谢谢