The Power of Empathy When Discussing Racial Divide
Transcriber: Jiaye Wang
Reviewer: Hani Eldalees
I’ve always compared my experience
being a person of color to riding
a roller coaster, you know, when
you’re climbing to the top,
slowly anticipating the minute
you go over that first hill,
the adrenaline causes your
mouth to go dry.
You find yourself literally gripping
the safety bar
until your knuckles are white.
Stomach is in your throat as you whip and
turn on the tracks of the coaster.
Once the ride is done, you are weak in the
knees and need of a few deep breaths
and a glass of water to gather yourself
before heading for that next ride.
Now, all you can think is, I’m so glad
I survived that entire experience,
I’m never doing that again.
Well.
That’s what it’s like to be a person
of color in America, except.
They have to do it again
and again and again.
Every day, worried that your loved ones
will not make it home safe at
the end of the night.
Anxious and filled with anxiety,
any time the police pull up behind
beside in front of 10 feet down
the way in front of a person
of color while driving.
Exhausted from constantly reliving
generational trauma via
television, social media and movies.
Leaning into faith daily
rather than feeding into
the fear that what has become
the black experience in this country
will never change. Rather.
get worse with each passing generation.
While working in progressive politics
at the height of a pandemic in
the midst of civil unrest. Protest.
And amongst death at the hands
of police brutality.
I had some of the dopiest in enlightening
and refreshing conversations
with non people of color.
There were hard questions being
asked and answered,
there was open dialogue and safe spaces
that should extend to the general public.
So verbal expression can begin to
open the doors of communication,
therefore creating a healing environment
for the entire human race.
The willingness to be vulnerable inspired
a ripple effect amongst my family
and friends, creating a long awaited
awakening of sorts.
It was long overdue,
within my immediate circle.
While sharing experiences with various
people who felt safe enough
and comfortable enough to ask,
I would often offer a personal
experience in order to help,
not people of color understand the very
basic dynamics of white supremacy.
When I was seven years old,
my mother was preparing our home for
my brother’s birthday party,
this was a huge ordeal.
While cleaning and cooking and filling
goodie bags and blowing up balloons
and wrapping presents, she burnt
his cake. Also a huge deal.
With just enough time to
make another,
she packed us up in her 1972 Dodge Dart
and headed to the next corner store.
Well, in the store, she grabbed
the three items she needed,
if I’m not mistaken, we’re talking
about a homemade cake.
So vanilla extract, sugar cane,
Condensed milk.
While walking to the front counter,
the clerk had his back to us.
When he turned around,
he looked at my brother and I
and they looked at my mother
and told her she was not welcome
in his store.
She was stunned.
It took her about 10 seconds to register
what he was saying to her,
and why.
She grabbed my hand, picked up my brother,
and as we walked out of the store,
we both heard the clerk mutter
under his breath.
My mother put us in the backseat
of the car, she buckled us in,
she locked the car doors and you better
believe she went back in that store.
A couple of minutes later,
she came out with the items she needed
to bake my brother his birthday cake.
On that day I learned that the light
skin that afforded my mother
the privilege to be able to go back in
that store, speak with her mind,
whatever it is that she had to say,
and come out with the items that she
needed would never be afforded to her
brown children.
White supremacy.
After sharing that experience, inevitably,
the very next question
to be asked.
This is the question that would
always fill my heart with hope.
How do I become a part of the solution?
And although I am extremely grateful
for the experiences lived in
the opportunity to help, not
people of color understand
the plight that people of
color live with daily,
allow me tonight to be transparent
with you all
and tell you that people of color are
tired of discussing issues that have
caused divide for centuries.
However, we are extremely eager to
speak with the potential allies
and accomplices about solutions
to the divide.
That conversation we are ready for.
As layered as the issues
of racial divide are,
the solution to the divide
is just as layered.
The Foundation for Healing Humanity starts
with empathy, simple as that.
Followed up closely with respect,
patience intact,
I feel like a real understanding between
races could come about if people had
conversations with these four
principles in place.
I feel strongly about this because
I have facilitated and been
a part of these beautiful conversations.
As disturbing as it was to witness a man
die a slow death, be humiliated,
treated as an animal and called
out for his mother.
That man’s death was not in vain.
Shortly thereafter, across the world,
we witnessed people of all races come
together to protest what was clearly
the most heinous act of disregard
for the human race we’ve seen
in a very long time.
We all mourned the senseless death
where color did not determine
the empathy deserved for
the situation at hand.
People of all walks of life, imagine if
it had been their father, their uncle,
their son, their cousin, their friend
dying from a knee to the neck for
eight minutes and 46 seconds.
During peaceful protest, a healing
energy was brought forth despite
the media’s depiction of
these mass gatherings.
As a matter of fact, if during this
time you turned on the news,
the media showed images of looting,
violence, and general mayhem,
and connection to these peaceful protests.
I was there. I’m going to tell
you that was not accurate.
To be there was an experience
like none other.
Racial division was being discussed,
dissected, and analyzed with the
intent to shine a light on
a fungus that has hindered human
empathy for far too long.
Artists of all ethnicities came together
to express a collective pain felt
for people who did not look like them,
but bled the same with cut with
beautiful murals that depicted
a long awaited message of unity and hope.
Small business owners donated time,
food, staff, water
to protestors regardless of background,
race ,or ethnicity.
Not people of color stood in front
of and beside people of color,
toe to toe with law enforcement to clearly
demonstrate their alliance.
Compassion and support at this time
was shown on a grand scale across
the entire world, and today it still
is rest in power - George Floyd.
Today, that same empathetic spirit
is spurring open dialogue,
being had with respect, patience, intact,
inspiring division to be dissolved.
Not only conversation being had, but an
evident change in mindset is occurring.
The difference this time around is all
people of all colors are open to change
with their hearts as well as their minds.
This is inspiring, great action coming
from a space of true and genuine empathy.
The only energy that combats hate is love.
Imagine if we had never known the
idea that you are less than me
because of my skin color.
Letting go of that very idea is
the first step to becoming
the light that you seek. Thank you.