Make Love Last Secrets for a Healthy Romantic Relationship
Transcriber: Khánh Chi Phan Thị
Reviewer: Rhonda Jacobs
Do you often get into fights
with your partner?
Do you find it hard to forgive
your partner because of their mistakes?
Does the thought of breakup or divorce
pass through your mind now and then?
Do you feel like a failure for not being
able to manage your love life?
If you do then let me tell you
that this is not your failure.
This is not your fault.
In this video, I will share
why your relationship deserves many
more chances before you call it quits.
Someone aptly said
that life is a rollercoaster.
You feel great thrills
when you reach the highs
and feeling extraordinarily fearful
and insecure when you head towards lows.
Hence, one must know the importance
and method of fastening a seatbelt
on a ride called life.
However, no one tells us about this
when we are kids.
Especially from where I belong,
most parents, teachers and family members
ask us to focus on scoring high
in academic subjects.
They do not talk about
the other realities of life.
No one tells us how to dream big.
No one tells us to take risks.
No one tells us how to manage
relationships and challenging situations.
No one tells us how to overcome
failures in love life.
And most importantly, nobody tells us
how to live a happy life.
We are geared to study well throughout
our childhood to acquire respectful jobs.
However, the education systems
miserably fail to imbibe
critical life skills to live
a stress-free and fulfilling life.
One of the critical skills one must
possess is to manage relationships.
An unhappy romantic relationships will
undoubtedly back other areas of your life.
It will keep you in lower states
most of the time.
You will find yourself
battling with yourself.
However, the skill
of managing love relationships
can help you sense
the joy of accomplishment and peace.
It took me five years of marriage,
including one year of separation,
to realize how miserable
one could be in their love life
and how [Inaudible] ego battles
could have been avoided
before I rescued my marriage from divorce.
In this video, I’ll guide you through
the tried and true proven techniques
that you can learn and apply immediately
to better your love relationships
and even your marriage.
To start rescuing the relationship,
you need to come to terms with yourself.
The succeeding simplist secrets
will help you master your love life.
Number one: build a healthy relationship.
Always remember
that it takes two to tango.
With this, everything will stay in balance
and neither of you
will feel deprived of something,
because you will fill each other’s needs.
A healthy relationship also depends
on your and your partner’s
spiritual and mental health.
Spirituality is related to how
a particular person treats others.
For example, if you’re loving
and kind to others,
that only indicates
that your spiritually sound.
Given that a relationship is a growth
and unified interaction of two persons,
each person’s spiritual
health is essential.
Mental health is how a person
treats and views himself.
For example, suppose a person does not
have a good relationship with themself.
In that case, they will not be able
to contribute to a healthy
and lasting relationship with anyone else.
In a nutshell, a healthy
relationship is essential
only because it will
make you a better person,
and you can make
the lives of others better too.
When people learn to love themselves,
they will love the people
around them in return.
Number two: Understanding the problems.
One of the main differences that both
partners face in the relationship
is the way they solve problems.
Typically, they approach resolution
from different angles.
For example, when women
face a particular issue,
they open it up to other
people at great length.
They will visit their girlfriends
and discuss the conflict
and solicit important pieces of advice.
On the contrary, men prefer
to keep the problems to themselves
and think deeply about
how they will find a solution to it.
Another significant difference
in understanding the relationship
is that sometimes women discuss matters
they do not want help with or advice for.
They just want to get
the burden off their chest.
For men, this is strange;
this is a strange concept.
Most men have a purpose
in talking about something.
When men open about
a particular problem, it is to solve it.
So men don’t understand why women
want to keep talking about something
without doing or saying
anything to solve it.
Men, the next time
you want to respond naturally
during a discussion
about a specific problem,
just listen and try
to understand your partner.
In doing so, you will be able
to avoid fights
and any misunderstandings
in your relationships.
Number three: Consistent
quality communication.
Misunderstandings, disagreements
and poor communication skills
can be the primary sources
of distance and fits of anger.
So it’s imperative to develop your
communication skills in your love life.
Here is how you do it.
Number one is to stay focused.
To have a healthy communication
with your partner,
do not bring up the hurts
and problems from the past.
Number two is listen very carefully.
While it may be difficult
to own your part,
you have to listen to whatever
your partner is talking about.
Don’t dare to interrupt
and don’t be defensive.
Number three: Know
your partner’s point of view.
People always want to be
understood and heard,
so know your partner’s point of view
so that they feel heard.
In return, they will do the same to you.
Number four:
React to criticism with empathy.
When your partner criticizes you,
listening to your partner’s pain
and reacting with empathy
to the feelings is crucial.
Of course, you also have to figure out
what is right in what they’re saying
as it can be a valuable detail for you.
Number five: Admit what’s yours.
Learn to admit
when you do something wrong.
Doing so will also inspire
your partner to react kindly,
so it would help you understand each other
and figure out the right solution -
right solution to the problem.
Number six: Search for compromise.
Instead of attempting to win the argument,
search for the right solution
that is favorable for both of you.
Now back to secret number four:
Change your negative mindset.
If you’re the kind of person
who thinks negatively
towards the people around you
and your partner,
it is you who has the problem, not them.
To change your negative mindset, you must
have some spiritual and mental health.
You also need to trust your partner.
When they tell you that they love you,
believe them.
Know your parter even more
to confirm your doubts
instead of feeling ashamed of yourself
for accusing them
of something they do not do.
Secret number five:
You can only change yourself.
The relationship itself
is not the problem,
but the people in the relationship.
This is the reason why you have to
figure out what’s wrong with you
and change it.
However, this is not
something you can do overnight.
It requires time, patience
and self-control.
To achieve this,
you need to come to terms with yourself
and admit your mistakes.
To put it simply,
you need to forget about
your pride by sending it to hell.
Mind you, changing yourself is something
that must be done one step at a time.
Please don’t force yourself,
because it could lead
to self-destruction as well.
Now secret number six:
Learn how to be considerate.
Being considerate means accepting excuses
and learning to say it’s okay,
mainly when your partner
has made an unintentional mistake.
Nobody’s perfect,
and all people make mistakes.
In a relationship,
you are not always right,
and your partner is not always wrong.
Both of you are responsible
in the way or other
if any problem or conflict arises.
The million dollar question is:
Why do you have to be considerate?
The answer to this question is simple:
to save your relationship.
By being considerate,
you’re not giving your partner
a chance to commit a mistake again,
but giving your relationship
another chance.
Now, secret number seven:
Beg no to advice from friends and family.
From my personal observation,
all of us are consumed by one
or the other emotional illnesses in life,
like anger, grief, ego,
frustration, insecurity, anxiety,
what do you regret, etc.
Anyone going through
any of these emotional illnesses
shares the information with us.
The information share
will be colored in that emotion,
and we will suck in
the information as it is.
The advice, they render is according to
their capacity and belief system,
and it could change one’s destiny
leading to break-up and divorces.
Suppose someone has a belief system
of not forgiving a person
after they cheated on them.
They would advise you not to forgive,
even if the listener has the capacity
and power to forgive
and change their family 360 degrees
and get back to a happy family.
The advice received -
“You should not forgive” -
became instrumental in playing the destiny
of the people of that family.
In the end, you and your partner
will still be the ones to decide
to save a relationship or not.
You may reach out to an unbiased
and mature individual
to guide you both
on how to make the right choices
and how to deal with your problems.
If you feel like your relationship
is already impossible to fix
because several
things have already happened,
don’t give up so easily.
Just implement these simple secrets
and master your love life.
Thank you.