Trinity of Resilience
[Laughter]
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[Music]
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imagine you’re a boxer in a boxing ring
there is a chaos everywhere your
opponent
is about six feet and weights more than
230 pounds
he’s sitting in the small chair in the
opposite corner
and looking at you aggressively
your heart rising you breathe
faster there are people
everywhere they are laughing joking
screaming yelling and demanding
something
from you the fight begins
the first round you punch you get
punched
everything goes incredibly fast
at the end of the first round
you have about 60 seconds
to relieve and get your balance back and
back to that
ring again continue to fight
the second round
punches are flying from everywhere you
get punched in your head you fall down
to the ground
and you close your eyes you’re exhausted
you are in pain
you don’t want to move yet you have 10
seconds
10 seconds to go on your feet again and
continue
fighting 5 6
7 8 you are on your feet in somehow
you are continuing in your battle
you start fighting with a plan
but as mike tyson once said
everybody has a plan until they get
punched in the mouth
all you can do is battle on
battle on round after round until
you lose the count you lose the sense
about
everything apart from that opponent
how you punch it how you avoid the
punches
how to knock him down
until the last second that
last punch then
at that last second that
last punch who do you want to be
what i want to do what i want to talk to
you about
today is the resilience
an american scientist william
robert scott back
in 1930 90 years ago
describe resilience using a boxer
in a boxing ring a boxer has a certain
amount of resiliency
which allows him to resume after shorter
or longer term
partly depends on his physical condition
and partly depends on the amount of
punches he has already received
but we all know it is more than that
your confidence your commitment your
courage
all of them and the last
not the less is how you act
will affect the result of that camp
i’m here today to tell you
the quality of your life when change
when you face challenges depends
on acting resiliently
one more time the quality of your life
when you face challenges
depends on how you act resiliently
how after
years of research on resilience
i have become more and more convinced
that
the key to acting resiliently is
in three seas what
i call as the trinity of resilience
the first c is about the context
on that ring context is about the fight
is about you and your opponent’s
cognition mental and physical
in order to fight then you have to be
prepared
you need to be trained you need to have
knowledge and skills about the boxing
there is also elements of surprise
some of punches are expected many of
them are not
then we have the element of uncertainty
here
there is a time issue it’s
seconds are critical
and the value at stake when the result
of match matters
greatly for your reputation if you do it
as a professional
or because of the money when the winner
gets paid
in each way you look at it there is a
threat
on that ring then you need to take it
seriously
the combination of threat uncertainty
and time pressure creates an absolute
storm on stress
in our daily life in the other hand the
context is different
but for many sorts of reasons
we get punched from time to time
it could be because of our health
our economy relationship family
job we get punched in our face
i get it i was on the ground i fight my
way back
and i’m here with you today
see the war through the lens of
resilience
change the way we define and understand
the context
the challenges how let me give you an
an easy example
think about the term failure
failure what we
usually understand and refer to the
failure is just
adjusting our behavior
our way to do things when we are in a
demanding situation
when we do this when we do things in
another
way which is unexpected improvise
sometimes the results are desirable
sometimes not if not
then we learn from them and adjust them
further you see
just changing the terminology
from failure to adjustment
do something with our mind with our
feeling
emotion the way we use resources
instead of judging blaming
and defending ourselves or others
we re-focus to understand
why it’s happening not what’s happening
not what and who but why and how
when we try and refocus to understand it
the inside uses to improve
our power they impoverish
in this way resilience
might and will change the quality
of our life
the second c is about the choices
in that boxing ring the choices are more
or less clear
how to punch you will pond
in a certain way in the certain part of
your opponent’s
body but i know and you know it’s more
complicated than that
in order to act resiliently
you need to be proactive being reactive
on that ring
doesn’t help you need to monitor
every movement of your opponent
and prepare a response accordingly
you need also to listen to your coach
who gives you guide and advice
it means that you should have capacity
to receive information to process them
and get the point and use those points
in the next
punch it’s a lot to do
in our real life
choices are more complicated because
contests keep changing
the resilient element here is the
capacity to anticipate
to figuring out how the future would
look like
and then find a way to respond to those
upcoming challenges
the point is while we are so
eager to improvise
to think outside the box to be creative
and innovative you are
almost always forgotten to think
inside the box so think about
those tiny elements
assumptions values
norms beliefs
that might have effect on execution of
our plans these elements
bring us to the thirty the culture
in that boxing ring the culture is about
rules of the game what to do what
not to do for example no biting
holding the hard or sharp object in your
hands
in the real life is much much more
sophisticated
as new faces of challenges coming
new rules of the games appears
in a faster and faster pace
yet or norms or values
the way we do things often remain
unchanged the success
in acting resiliently is not just about
to figuring out
how the future would look like and
allocate resource
but to figuring out whether those
choices that we make are aligned with
our
assumptions values norms beliefs
if not then we should change them
otherwise we might ending in a situation
that
we are not comfortable with our choices
we might end in the situation saying
i don’t recognize myself here anymore
next time when you are
in the challenges think about
the trinity of resilience about the
context
what this battle is about your choices
make plans but be flexible
take a step back adjust your plan
and continue to your fight never
ever forget you are a great fighter
thank you