Swipe Right on Yourself
hello
namaste bonjour before we begin
i’d like you to do a little exercise
with me i promise you it’s going to be a
very quick one
close your eyes take a deep breath
and think about a moment when you were
really sad
when you felt dejected just close your
eyes
think
slowly open your eyes again i know that
was a bit cruel that was harsh
so i’m going to improve your mood by
asking you to repeat this exercise
but this time we’re going to think all
happy things
close your eyes take a deep breath and
think about a moment when you were over
joyous
a day you’d like to live over and over
again
i assure you there’s a very good reason
why we’re doing these exercises
so just bear with me
open your eyes want you to now reflect
on these two or several memories that
popped in your head
were you the hero of these memories
were your emotions a direct result of
your
own actions or was there somebody else
involved
somebody else who made you feel the way
you felt
in case it was all you bravo my friend
you
have the key to a successful and happy
life
however if there’s even a slightest
chance that there was somebody
else who influenced your emotions or
your experiences
then sit tight and stick to the end
because i’m sure you’re going to enjoy
what i have to say to you
who can tell me what’s on the screen
right now
anybody it’s a phoenix
that’s right and what are the
characteristics of a phoenix
what is a phoenix known for
it rises from its own ashes
you’re probably thinking right now why
is she talking about this extraordinary
bird
well the question is going to get
answered in the next
10 minutes of us being together
we’ve talked about this amazing bird
we’ve done these reflection exercises
so let me get down to business and talk
about something
you all will relate to the swipe
culture twiddling our thumbs left and
right
sometimes brainlessly and many a times
in vanity
this makes me come down to one
conclusion
and only one conclusion about our
generation
we are the quick generation
we want everything quickly we want quick
money
quick success quick relationships quick
love
and unfortunately for us we’ve forgotten
what it’s like to live in the here and
now
we’ve forgotten what it’s like to commit
to
one person or one thing and not here my
friends
i’m not saying it’s you i’m saying it’s
us
because we’re all a part of it and this
just makes me come down
to one question i ask myself
what if i had the chance to be committed
to just
one thing or one person in life
who should that be or what should that
be with
my two cents on that my friends
swipe right on yourself applaud
for yourself appreciate yourself
hype up yourself why because
nobody else is gonna do it for you and
i’m sure you’re probably thinking right
now
what is all this talk about
self-interest why is this goal telling
us
to be selfish well i won’t be surprised
if this is what you’re thinking right
now because
all our lives we’ve been conditioned to
think
that if we think about ourselves above
anybody else
we are doomed we are to be labeled as
narcissistic egoistic or self-obsessed
but today i ask you to
challenge this very year-long
conditioning
i ask you to challenge this thought
process
and move out of your comfort zone and
how can you do that
the month rise right there in front of
you my friends me
myself and i you got to believe in
yourself
because like i said nobody else is gonna
do it for you
and even if people call you narcissistic
or self-obsessed
i assure you putting yourself first is
great
it’s in fact the best thing that you can
do for yourself
but how did i ever come about realizing
that
i me myself was a great mantra
it’s been a very personal journey for me
and i’d like you to
now walk that journey with me what you
see on screen is me a couple of years
back
a complete school nerd my friends i was
laden with trophies achievements
certificates
i was good at studies i was getting
amazing grades i was also part of the
student council i was participating in
dramas debates
all that jazz if you were to look from
the outside
you would say this girl is totally
winning at school life
however the sad part is
that my need to be an achiever my
drive to be a high flyer
was unfortunately not mine
it stemmed from a very deep
and dark bias of proving myself
there was a constant need i felt
i had to prove myself to the people out
there
and it began with a lot of insecurities
that had been drilled in my head
when i was only a child and by none
other
than the people who surrounded me
you see when i was barely a toddler a
relative of mine
quipped to my parents that you’d never
be able to step out in world unashamed
with a daughter who looks like that
i wasn’t born with fair skin
or as they say in my country blessed
with fair skin
an apparent qualification you need to
prove your worth
or to achieve anything in life and the
lack of
witch was supposed to be the doom of my
beautiful family and i
whatever followed in the years ahead of
that was a constant reminder for me
that only fair is lovely
and i was not fair enough to achieve
things that i rightfully deserved
on many occasions as a child i was
thrown out of competitions
i was not given roles in dramas and
plays
opportunities were snatched away from me
why
only because i did not fit in the box
of ideal beauty standards
and trust me there were lots of people
around me who would comment on how i
could improve my skin tone
if only i improved my skin color i would
achieve
so many things and the more it happened
with me
the angrier i got the angrier i got
and worked hard worked hard to prove
myself to these people
that i was so much more than just what i
looked like there was so much more to me
than just what’s visible on the outside
it was only years later my friends i
realized
how toxic it all was my
actions were stemmed out of
a reaction to the thoughts and opinions
of other people
i had developed myself in a way
which was based on judgments biases
taunts and jibes of other people
had the life i’d been living then truly
mine
and the question haunted me
i’m sorry i’m a bit overwhelmed right
now
because this is the first time i’m
confronting
the ghost of my past publicly
but what happened ironically that helped
me
was joining fashion school you would say
what a risky decision for a girl who all
her life had associated her worth
to be related to her looks right
entering a domain entering an industry
which is
infamous for causing body image issues
but
ironically for me this is exactly where
i found out
who i truly was i was participating in
fashion shows i was part of fashion
shoots
i also got casted in a tv ad my friends
and this all made me fall in love with
myself
for the first time in life i was
truly truly in love with myself and what
i was doing
i was being me and not the meme the
society wanted me to be
but who i truly was i went on to
experience
the immense joy and poise that came with
walking the ramp
and it just liberated me in a sense
which i had never
expected it to what you will probably be
questioning right now is
the ticket to confidence entering a
fashion school well no my friends
in fashion school i had three important
realizations
the first one being my parents were
least
bothered by what the world said or that
one remark that relative had said that
they’d be ashamed of me
they were anything but ashamed of me for
they supported me in
every action i ever took be it modeling
be
the unconventional decision of going to
fashion school beer traveling abroad
they had my back and i have to take a
moment here to say
it’s an unusually rare blessing for a
girl who comes from a typical
indian household the second realization
a very important one all the
insecurities i’d
ever felt in life were never even mine
to begin with all the taunts
jibes they all began and belonged to
those
who had spoken them or acted on them
and it was not my responsibility to
carry them
or to fix them or to prove them wrong
and the third most important one being
the sole responsibility of how i feel
about myself
lies on my shoulders and not on somebody
else’s
and these were the three or three
realizations that finally made me fall
in love with myself
and made me understand how important it
was
for every one of us to be truly in love
with ourselves if you do if you would
have told the younger me that
ananya you would one day be in paris
working in the luxury
fashion and beauty industry i would have
laughed at you and called it hogwash
i would have told you that’s definitely
not possible
but here i am my friends standing right
in front of you
being associated with brands like
christopher couture
because i decided one day to take charge
of my own life
and live it how i wanted to live it so
why am i talking about this today
why is it so important well it’s
important because most of us today stand
on a similar
threshold of entering the job market as
young graduates
and it’s important for us to realize
that
our worth is not associated with the
many rejections we get
each day when we apply for new jobs our
worth is not associated with what others
think of us
so remember my friends remember to
self-validate
self-applaud self-advocate because once
you’re out there in the job market
nobody can talk about you like you can
about yourself and if you cannot present
the person in front of you
the value you add or things that you
bring to the table
you’re doing yourself a big disservice
it’s also very imperative for me to talk
about this today and
implore you to love yourself
for a reason and the reason being
if today you decide to love yourself be
comfortable in your
own shoes tackle or your all your
insecurities
if we were to meet tomorrow or in the
future we’d be kind to each other
most importantly we wouldn’t be
projecting our insecurities
onto each other and we wouldn’t shy away
from throwing in a helping hand if the
other is drowning
if only today we decide that we’re happy
and satisfied with where we are and who
we are
so my friends are you ready are you
ready to be your own cheerleader
are you ready to be your own cheerleader
an unapologetic
so take space my friend take space and
own it
because there isn’t a room full of
people waiting with pom-poms in their
hand
or confetti in their hand to throw at
you
to celebrate you your journey your
achievements it’s you
who has to do that
and you’re probably thinking it’s very
easy to stand on this stage and see all
of these things
and you’re right it’s going to be very
difficult once you start this journey of
self-love
but let me give you a tip which has
helped me
start with the most basic step the step
being
never belittle your own self there are
so many
unkind experiences and people in the
world who are ready to do it for you
but you shouldn’t be the one doing it
remember never speak badly of yourself
for the warrior within hears it and is
lessened by them
today may not be good my friend but
tomorrow will be
tomorrow may not be good but day after
will be it’s not over
tell your inner samurai it’s not over
until
i win you see i’m talking about all of
these things but the journey for me
hasn’t been easy either
till today i s i find myself knee-deep
in worries
asking myself this ridiculous question
why not me he has an incredible job
why not me she has a loving boyfriend
why not me oh my god they did such an
amazing project
why not me and you see this why not me
here
sounds so self-depreciating but what if
i switched it around
just by the means of tone what if i said
he has an incredible job why not me
she is in a loving relationship why not
me
if they can then why not
me you see in a matter of seconds just
by training my brain and mind to believe
in myself
i switch the whole situation around in
my own favor
if i can then you can my friends
you remember the phoenix we talked about
it has
an amazing lesson to give to all of us
we all fall we all falter we
all fail but it’s about
getting back up and heading and facing
life head
on by believing in ourselves being that
phoenix that rises from its own ashes
so as i leave you today my friends
i really really hope the next time
you close your eyes to reflect on your
emotions and experiences
you are the hero of your own story
because remember
the true love story was is
and will always be between you
and only you thank you
merci shukria this is ananya rajputs
signing off with today’s
censoring thought aham brahmasmi
true love begins with me