Heteronormativity in Public Schools
today
i’m going to be talking about someone
who is very special to me my little
brother
luke he’s a freshman in high school and
he loves
beauty and nail polish and makeup he is
taller than me like he’s 14 and he is
six foot which i think
is insane but it’s also super helpful
whenever i need something up high
luke and i have never been super close
as kids we never like spilled secrets or
anything
but i did know that when i
grew up i was going to have to make sure
that he felt
loved and accepted no matter what and
let him know that he’s perfect just the
way he is
he’s always kind to whoever he needs
and he tries his hardest to make
everybody feel accepted no matter what
he isn’t afraid to be himself and he
seems to not care what other people
think about him
he enjoys going to school and he loves
scouts
he tries his best to be as good of a
person as he can possibly be
taking others into account before
himself he tries to make everybody
involved
no matter the situation which is
something that i really
admire luke loves to do dance and
do his makeup he’s always posting on
social media all of these crazy makeup
looks that i could never
do in my whole life but he somehow makes
them look
so beautiful he has huge ambitions for
his future
he wants to create his own makeup line
inclusive for every person every skin
type every skin color
every style um
he has big dreams and he has a plan on
how to do it
i believe that he will go places in his
life
i have never met a person or let alone a
14 year old
who is this positive and has their
future as planned out as luke does
he knows exactly what classes he needs
to take what he needs to take them
what he wants to major in what college
he wants to go to
and what steps he has to make to do to
make sure he gets where he wants to go
unfortunately not everybody likes his
big dreams
he struggles with being bullied luke
used to remain
nail polish to school when he was
younger but the amount of bullying he
received from his peers
deterred him he feared for his own
safety from their threats
if he continued to wear a nail polish at
school he couldn’t wear nail polish
because it was not socially acceptable
for a middle school aged boy to wear
make nail polish
to school he also feared that the eighth
graders and high schoolers
would beat him up if he were it um
luke has always had a love of makeup as
i mentioned ever since he was a little
kid
uh when we were kids luke and i would
dress up put on princess dresses and
pretend we were princesses
ruling everything we could see luke and
i had
so much fun when we were kids luke
wanted to wear makeup to school one time
but he didn’t understand why my mom and
i would not let him
the truth is i didn’t want luke to get
beat up
we rode the bus with these super
aggressive and super mean
and loud and annoying boys who didn’t
like
anyone who’s not the same as them they
would bully everybody but they would
especially bully luke
they would constantly tear down luke
over the smallest things
from the games on his phone to what he
would talk about
i tried everything i could think of to
stop these boys
but nothing worked they would
physically bully luke like hit him with
various objects
they would flip his hood up and pull his
hair and he would tell him to stop
and then would threaten to tell
administration and teachers and the bus
driver
and they would not stop bullying him the
administration did
nothing about it he kept being
relentlessly bullied by these obnoxious
boys who were insecure about themselves
be all because he was different from
them
luke has always been secure in who he is
and does not care what other people
think about him
one time last school year luke saw the
sixth grade boy who was wearing makeup
to school
in the hallway heading to the bathroom
luke wanted to compliment this boy on
his makeup
when luke went into the bathroom the boy
hid his face
in fear of luke by the time that luke
was going to
talk to this boy the boy had already
left
the bathroom presumably scared
luke is a pretty large boy as i
mentioned he’s six foot he has some
muscle on him for being a dancer
um this sixth grader felt fearful that
luke
was going to beat him up when luke saw
this kid at a different time at school
this boy again hid his face in fear of
what people
were gonna say when they saw his makeup
all luke wanted to do was compliment the
boy
and ask him about his makeup and the boy
feared for his safety and ran away
it’s heartbreaking bullying starts at a
young age
but is made worse throughout schooling
middle school is
you know the standard point when kids
are trying to experiment
and figure out who they are and what
they want to do
and it is crucial to who they are they
feel
pressure to fit in from their peers i’ve
always said that middle school is the
meanest time of a person’s life and i
truly believe that if someone is
different from what they think is
normal they will automatically go after
that person and attack them
because they feel that they need to make
that person
feel badly about themselves so that they
will come form and fit in
there is the most bullying in middle
school because
of the amount of insecurities there are
it is so sad that people feel they
cannot be themselves
because they will get bullied if they
try and they’re afraid to stand up
for that person being bullied because
they’re worried they will get bullied
themselves
insecurity is the main reason behind all
bullying
and there is tons of it in middle school
boys face
pressure to be perfect football players
manly dating a different girl every week
you know
middle school things the pressures
placed on boys to be perfect can lead to
insecurities
especially if the boy is not manly
luke is the opposite of what you would
think of as manly
orchestra kid dance he loves science
makeup you know nail polish not what i
would call your typical
manly middle schooler
the bullies pick on the different kids
because it’s easier for them why would
you pick on the football player when you
could pick on
you know the dancer
unfortunately boys are more likely to
bully people than girls
additionally the us department of health
and human services
states that boys tend to engage in more
physical forms of bullying and sexual
harassment than girls do
therefore being different and not what
the ideal man looks like in middle and
high school can prove
unsafe and even dangerous that
discourages people from feeling like
they can be themselves
which does not encourage individuality
and freedom of expression
bullying makes people want to fit in
more and they will do anything
to avoid being bullied themselves when
bullying happens in excess
suicide can occur suicide is the third
leading cause of death among adolescents
according to the child mind institute
third lgbtq youth who reported having at
least one accepting adult
were 40 percent less likely to report a
suicide attempt in the past year
according to the trevor project 40
percent
the impact of bullying later on in life
is extremely terrifying
bullying in middle school can lead to
depression anxiety low self-esteem
and in some cases self-harm kids feel
sad and depressed
because they get bullied for being
themselves as i previously mentioned
bullying stems from insecurities the
popular kids believe that not popular
kids
because they don’t like people being
comfortable with themselves and being
different from what they think
is normal the kids who get bullied tend
to not
understand why they’re being bullied
they’re just being who they are
society tells these kids that they have
to be a certain way and if they’re not
they’re going to get bullied for it
when something isn’t the way that
society says
it will be other people step in and are
like
you cannot be different you have to
conform to what society wants you to do
the reason for making someone feel bad
is so that they will blend in
and fit in better bullying is seen as
cool and popular
because it’s people it’s perceived as
being needed to thrive in school
that is not the case children can learn
not to bully those around them
and not treat people differently just
because someone has different hobbies
than them
there’s something called the bystander
effect the idea that
someone can be suffering and other
people don’t do anything about it
because they think that someone else is
going to step in and fix it
that is not a good way to stop anything
i know that i want someone to step in
for me
in that situation staying silent is
just as bad as bullying someone because
then the bullies
think that what they’re doing is okay
and they can continue to bully more
people
i’ve come up with a solution to the
bullying issue
educate schools should create programs
where students are separated into small
groups
age gender something i don’t know
sexual orientation small groups
and taught about tolerance and how
to deal with people who are different
than them kids should be taught not to
bully anybody
and the all school should have a zero
tolerance bullying policy
this program can start when kids are in
elementary school
that way it’s implemented into their
brain and they
are more tolerant when they get to be
luke’s age luke used to be very insecure
and would care a lot about what his
peers were saying about him but now he’s
gotten
so used to this bullying that he doesn’t
even register anymore it doesn’t even
faze him
he also says he’s put up a wall and
needs to get to know someone first
before he starts opening up to them
and letting them get to know the real
him
is that really a good thing is that what
we want
our kids to be like