Sexual Education Extreme Flaws
why is it so hard
to talk about sex this is a question
that has circulated in my mind
for quite some time now and although our
everyday media has a large
content of sexual content it seems
as though when the time comes to talk
about it seriously
people become evasive this is especially
true if it involves teens
trying to learn more about sex what does
this mean
it means that for teens talking about
sex is
often avoided and stigmatized
this may cause teens to feel
uncomfortable with the topic or even be
frightened of sex
and some may think that is actually
comforting
i firmly disagree
throughout this talk i will explain why
teens feel uncomfortable talking about
sex
the implications this has on their
well-being and how we can better address
this sensitive subject
so what is it about sex that makes it
so awkward to talk about why is the very
thing that keeps the human race alive
something to be shunned
the reason we feel so uncomfortable is
because our surroundings are
teaching us to think of sex as bad
these surroundings include a variety of
influences but i’ll focus on a few here
let’s begin with the way religion has
affected our views
specifically christianity since i was
raised to christian
family and took a religion class based
on christian values
and with over 65 percent of the u.s
adult population identifying as
christians
many of you here may have heard these
lessons before
i was taught that sex makes you impure
and sick
any desire had to be purged masturbation
meant you were cursed
having sex before marriage meant you
were a sinner and
having a child before marriage resulted
in bastard status for the child
our religious organizations are not our
sole influence on our knowledge and
views of sex
these lessons are sometimes passed down
by your parents as well
the people who are supposed to support
us love us and teach us
are more often the first ones to create
taboos and spread misinformation
let’s set the scenario a child around
8 to 12 years old asks the classic
question
where do babies come from
some parents may provide a made-up story
about storks delivering babies
others a special kiss that creates a
baby in a woman’s stomach
others may reveal a truthful but
harmfully vague description of sex
you might find six changes quite
familiar
well that’s because our everyday media
has popularized the comedy of this
conversation
taking what our parents actually do and
portray it to us such as a scene from
modern family where we see characters
phil and claire struggle to speak about
sex with their children
in a comedic manner another great
example of this
lies in the movie bloggers and although
this movie takes on a more positive
approach towards sex in the
end the parents initial reactions
are key they reflect the way many of our
parents reacted in the same situation
in this movie three high school seniors
are planning to lose their virginity
but when their parents find out their
plans
they react with disgust and horror
stop they get nothing to prevent their
daughters from committing the worst
mistake of their lives
in these scenes instead of taking a more
positive approach and having an open
conversation with their children
we are taught that sex is something that
should be avoided at all costs
in reality parents are the ones who are
supposed to teach us
but sometimes they don’t always succeed
in this task
spreading misinformation creating taboos
or
potentially worse not bringing up the
topic
at all but what about those teens who
are receiving
no information from their religious
organizations nor from their parents
a child or teen who is curious will most
likely begin research
themselves they will
inevitably find pornography
a child or teen consuming this content
is likely to get the wrong message from
it
pornography is meant to be entertainment
not educational
but as you can imagine an uninformed
teen is not aware of this
and they might perceive what is in
pornography is what sex really is like
when it’s very far from that this could
lead to unrealistic expectations on
consent
pleasure and not to mention an ongoing
ignorance on stds and pregnancies
all of these are examples of the way our
surroundings create a negative
environment around sex
the mentality of religious organizations
and family structures
essentially demonizes sex it makes
us feel guilty for any desire then that
guilt can lead us to being misinformed
which can be
dangerous for a variety of reasons
ignorance on consent pleasure esties and
pregnancies
can all lead to someone being put into a
difficult situation
as an adult one that could have been
avoided
and while some may distance themselves
from the topic and the act
entirely there’s mirror bell
and start engaging in ignorant sexual
acts involving unsafe practices and
unhealthy relationships
what does this mean for the individual i
asked the family friend
if she thought that parents should be
more open talking about sex to their
kids
as a mother she agreed that keeping this
topic concealed
would be a lot more harmful than helpful
she proceeded to tell me the story of a
14 year old girl
who got pregnant and gave birth
her mother never talked to her about sex
she had
no way of knowing it would cause
pregnancy and a simple conversation
could have prevented this and her story
isn’t unusual a study by advocates for
youth
shows that about 750 000 teens become
pregnant each year
82 of those pregnancies being unintended
the misconception that talking to teens
about sex will make them more likely to
partake in sexual activity
could not be farther from the truth in
fact
deborah hauser president of advocates
for youth
cites research showing that
comprehensive sexual education
can actually help teens delay sexual
initiation
while also encouraging the use of
condoms and contraceptions
when they do become sexually active
i hope that by now all of you have
accepted or at least
open to the idea that keeping sex a
secret
is very detrimental
so then how do we get rid of this
perception
i would argue that education in schools
might be able to help
but even then sex ed in schools is
greatly lacking in vital information
there’s simply way too much missing to
provide for effective learning
to begin with sex ed is usually tied
into a general health class
this means that it only takes up a small
portion of the course
and is usually taught by someone with
little training or inclination to
discuss sex with teens
this situation in itself is bound to
have a lot of issues
but let’s look at what is often
discussed in this brief unit
abstinence only you know what i was told
in my sex out of class
just don’t have sex
barely any talk about using
contraceptions
or other resources just don’t do it
well guess what that won’t stop the over
50
of teens who engage in sexual activity
before they turn 18.
abstinence until marriage curriculums
basically tell teens not to do something
and expect that to be enough i’m sure
all of you can see the problem that
sadly this is pretty much present in
every success course
with over 37 states requiring
information on abstinence
compare this to only 12 states they
require information on contraceptions
and only seven they require the
information to be medically accurate
with such irregular standards it becomes
apparent why most teens will receive
proper sexual health education
there is so much more blatantly wrong
with this brief unit
they also don’t talk about consent
something that seems so crucial to talk
about is not even discussed
consent is the first tinker to consider
consent is the first thing to consider
when
planning to engage in sexual activity
sex without consent is rape and from and
preventing such situations from
happening
can be very beneficial
further sex had classes should also
elaborate on the stages of consent
just because you agreed once does not
mean you’re open to or comfortable with
everything yet
and communicating such concerns should
be normalized
further if he could teach consent to
teens
we may be able to lower the incidence of
sexual assault and rape that occur in
our country
an article by grace tatter states that a
recent study from columbia university’s
sexual health initiative to foster
transformation project
states that comprehensive sexual
education can actually help teens even
after high school
by creating a more comprehensive
approach towards consent
they’ll be less likely to commit and be
less vulnerable to
sexual violence
another big issue with sex ed is the
complete
and utter lack of lgbtq plus inclusion
teens that fall on the sexual spectrum
are already not included in many areas
but basic sexual health should be
prioritized
by disregarding teens that lie on the
sexual spectrum
we are causing this to miss out on
important medically accurate information
that is essential for good sexual health
an article by the center of american
product pro an article by the center of
american progress
states that all teens deserve education
that empowers them to make healthy
informed decisions on their
relationships and their bodies
if we continue to disregard teens that
are lgbtq
we are causing them potential harm in
their sex life later on
further sex ed classes also fail to
discuss intimacy pornography
sexual assault polygamy polygamy and
monogamy
the differences between love and
infatuation
in addition kings and fetishes are far
off this list
richard weissbor an american
psychologist
agrees that sex ed in this country is
abstinence only or disaster prevention
how to not get pregnant and not get
sexually transmitted diseases
it’s not about respect and care in a
loving relationship
in vice buddha study 65 percent of his
respondents
wish they had received more guidance on
the emotional aspects of romantic
relationships
and their health and sex out of classes
in short
these classes offer almost nothing to
properly educate teens
finding quality guidance and information
on sex in this country
is difficult we must change the way we
teach sex in order to give our youth a
better chance at success
maybe we can find ways to encourage
religious organizations
and schools to promote inclusive sexual
education
what we can absolutely control however
is the way
we talk about sex within our families
friendships romantic relationships
i encourage all of you to open the
conversation on healthy sexual practices
with your children
students peers and anyone who seeks
guidance
do what you can to promote a world where
all of us
have open access to resources and
information
a world where we are not afraid to speak
of our sexuality
why because self-worth and sex
is not implicitly understood
we must explicitly help others to
recognize
the boundaries and beauties of sex
thank you
you