Developing Social Skills through Dungeons Dragons
[Music]
[Applause]
the first time
that i played dungeons and dragons i
knew that i had found something special
because even though i did not understand
the rules
or the game mechanics i was deeply
invested in my character
i had spent time creating a backstory
for her
as well as when i was playing the game i
thought about her future based on the
decisions i was making
i even found myself thinking about her
when i wasn’t playing the game
fast forward eight months i’m still
playing scrolling through my social
media news feeds and i come across this
homemade advertisement
it says dungeons and dragons regular
weekly meetings
can help with social skills and in that
moment it was like
the fog cleared or the light bulb went
off
and this was that missing piece this was
that thing that i couldn’t
quite put my finger on it was helping me
with my social skills
i began to wonder what it would be like
if i created an intentional game
building specific social skill
opportunities into the game
i decided to see if there was anything
like this out there went online
did a quick internet search and i
discovered the world of applied rpgs
or applied role-playing games and these
are folks using things like
dungeons and dragons to help people with
things like
social skill development i reached out
to an organization that was pretty well
established in the field
and doing work similar to what i was
thinking of doing and asked them if
there was a way i could bring
social skill development for teenagers
into my own community
they said to me well you have this
background in leadership development
what if you built a sandbox and scaffold
your organization based off of that
from there roleplay lead was born
i have had the amazing privilege of
having amazing kids at my table but one
student’s story in particular stands out
and i’m going to share that with you
today
when this student joined role play lead
they sat at my table
with this deep-seated fear of failure
and an overcompensation into
perfectionism
this manifested in a variety of ways
this student for example if they didn’t
know the answer didn’t think they had
the right answer they chose not to say
anything
on the flip side if they believed they
had the best answer
it was their answer only they weren’t
interested in anyone else’s
nor did they ask for help as you can
imagine that created
some interesting tensions at the table
and
played out in some really interesting
ways on the flip side because
they stretched into this perfectionism
they read all of the books they knew
every detail
in and out of the rules of everything
and if anyone tried to stray from them
just the tiniest little bit
they would step in and correct them
again creating some tension
fast forward for a full school year and
i decide to send out a survey to the
parents i want to make sure i’m on the
right track
that they’re seeing the growth that i’m
seeing
this parent the parent of the student
response was really interesting first
they said prior to starting with role
play lead
this student was leaving the classroom
four to five
times a week because they were having
panic attacks and anxiety
a half a school year later enrolled play
lead and this student is now down to
once or twice
a month how does a game like dungeons
and dragons
help a student manage their anxiety and
develop social skills
i’m going to give you a brief example of
something that happens all the time in
the game of dungeons and dragons and how
in this
one small moment we can work on social
skill development and anxiety management
first of all if you have never played
dungeons and dragons before here is a
very
very very very brief overview of how the
game works
you gather around a table your players
sit down and they have a character sheet
in front of them
on the character sheet is a series of
skills some of which your character is
good at
some of which they’re not as good at
which is great because that mirrors us
in real life they also get a pile of
dice and we’ll get to that in a moment
other than that though there is actually
no game board
no screens it all takes place in the
imagination
it is then up to the role of the dm or
dungeon master which is the role that i
play with in my organization
to set the scene paint a picture and
tell a collaborative story with their
players
for example i say to my players
all right you have been walking about a
mile in
dense forest before you come to this
craggy cliffside
in front of you is a large ravine and a
bridge that spans the gap
however there has been some bad weather
recently
and it has caused a boulder to fall and
land directly at the entrance to the
bridge
you cannot cross it as is what do you
do and it is this moment of what do you
do that brings us to the first thing i
love about this game
and it is that you can actually try
almost anything
however do you remember that set of dice
i told you about earlier
it is often up to the role of those dice
that determines whether you succeed
or fail at what you’re trying to do in
this particular case all of the players
begin talking to each other
and the player who has the strongest
character
says i would like to try and move the
boulder out of my way
i say great that’s an awesome idea go
ahead and roll your dice
they roll and they succeed the boulder
rolls out of the way
the group crosses the bridge and they
never look back
but because this is a game of chance
there is
an opportunity for them to not succeed
on that role they fail unable to move
the
boulder out of the way bringing us to
the next moment that i’d like to talk
about
when my players roll low and their
character does not succeed
i work on developing empathy
and self-awareness i say to that player
tell me what it is that your
character is thinking about that’s
distracting them from succeeding on
something they’d normally
do well at the player thinks for a
moment and says well in my character’s
backstory
they were due to go home right now
instead of continuing with the group
they’re thinking of their friends their
family their village
they’re distracted i say
yes how often does this happen to us in
real life
we study for a math test you know
all of the formulas you are going to
need to be successful
the morning of that test you get into a
fight with a parent
and then as you sit down at your desk
your test in front of you
instead of recalling all of those
formulas that you’re going to need
you recall that fight what can you do in
this instance
the player thinks for a moment and says
you know
i could ask the teacher for help maybe
see if i could come back later or
reschedule my test for a different day
and i say yeah asking for help is a big
thing to do
but it’s really really important what
can you do in this game
and that player says well i could ask
for help here too i say yeah
the player who’s controlling the next
strongest character says i’ll help them
great roll your dice and we’ll look at
the two dice together to determine if
you succeed
let’s say they roll well you look at the
dice together
both of those characters move the
boulder out of the way
the group crosses the bridge and never
looks back
but again chance is a fateful mistress
you might roll unfortunately low and
still not
succeed even looking at the two dice
rolls together
bringing me to the next thing i’d like
to talk about and that is
problem solving and critical thinking in
this moment
two of the strongest characters cannot
budge this boulder the group has to get
creative
someone says hey maybe we climb down the
ravine and i say yeah but you can’t see
the bottom
they say okay that’s not a good idea
let’s walk through the woods and see if
we can find another way across
say sure that’s a great idea keep in
mind though the trees are really densely
packed it’s going to take you a while
they keep thinking and keep thinking
until one of the players raises their
hand
and says hey i have a rope in my
inventory
could my character loop the rope around
the boulder
everybody pulls on the loose end and it
moves out of the way
i say yes this is a great idea i want to
encourage teamwork
i’m not even going to ask my players to
roll their dice
i say if you all work together on this
you will be successful
bringing me to the next thing i’d like
to talk about and that is
unlike games like monopoly or ticket to
ride where only one person
can win and everyone else has to lose
dungeons and dragons is a team game
where you succeed
or fail together so think back to the
very first
attempt at moving the boulder if that
character succeeds
the whole party still gets to cross the
bridge right
but let’s say they don’t you get to the
very end solution where the rope is used
to move the boulder
the group still gets to cross the bridge
together no matter what happens
the last thing i want to highlight today
about this game is its work with
frustration tolerance
as it happens the dice some days are
your best
friends you roll them and you succeed at
everything you try to do
because balance must be restored to the
worlds though the next time you pick up
those dice to roll them
you can’t succeed no matter how many
times you try
as a social skills dm i get to watch my
players
i get to keep a pulse on their anxiety
again think back to that game of
monopoly or ticket to ride
once you realize that only one person is
going to win and you cannot catch up no
matter how much you try
you begin to not care to check out to
leave the game
you don’t learn in dungeons and dragons
i watch my players to gauge where their
anxiety is at
they might start off if they’re failing
time and time again
i’m not worth it my character is not
worth it i’m not successful
until they spiral down and i catch them
before they get too low and i say you
know what
today has been a tough day but think
about last time we played the game
you were fighting this big bad guy
everyone’s health was really really low
but you got the final killing blow and
you saved everyone’s butts
they needed you then just like they need
you now one bad day does not mean that
you are not worth it or good
just means you’re having a bad day and
this really neat thing begins to happen
the rest of the players after they play
together for a couple of weeks
begin to see their own anxiety reflected
back at them
they develop empathy and understanding
they might
actually step in and become each other’s
cheerleaders
so i don’t have to cheerlead them on
they can see it as it’s happening and
it’s beautiful
so if you look at this boulder example
and then consider the very first student
i talked about
you can see how a game like dungeons and
dragons helps build skills
helps students overcome their struggles
and becomes stronger for it
the boulder is just the first step the
puzzles get bigger the obstacles get
harder
and you have to use that foundation in
order to continue on
it is my hope that by now you have a
teenager in your mind
your own child or a family member or
friend
perhaps it’s a student in your classroom
or a patient in your therapeutic
practices and you are wondering how you
can bring this
to them get online and search
applied rpgs or applied role-playing
games and you’re going to find
organizations across the country
you are going to find them across the
world in fact you
will find training programs as well that
are available to you that will certify
you or teach you how to use the skill in
your own space
let’s say though you’re already a
skilled dungeon master you’re just not
sure how you can use a dnd module
and build in social skill moments well
role play lead has you covered
we actually are putting together a
module that runs just like a dungeons
and dragons game
but has these moments built in for you
no matter how you choose to bring
applied rpgs
to your community it is time that we
re-evaluate how we teach social skills
to our
teenagers because they deserve a safe
space
to engage and play for leadership thank
you
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you