Reclaiming social media through the authentic self
i would like to start our discussion off
today with a question
when you’re on social media whether
you’re scrolling on facebook or checking
out some photos on instagram
what is the general feeling that you
have is it generally good or is it
generally bad so when you’re seeing
other people how do you feel about
yourself and that’s what we’re going to
explore today
i think the general consensus is that we
are feeling bad we are feeling negative
the way that we’re using social media
right now is not working
but i do believe that we can reclaim it
i believe we can reclaim social media
by grabbing onto transparency and
literally
disrupting the dynamic in the way that
we’ve been using it
and we can change it and recreate it for
good
if you’ve seen the recent documentary
the social dilemma they talk about some
startling
statistics in it and this has all been
backed by by research
lots and lots of studies around this but
in the documentary they talk about this
is just one age category
but some of the negative consequences
that social media has
on people and in the pre-teen category
so just looking at one age demographic
they share that suicide rates have
increased
150 percent in the last decade
self-harm has tripled and
incidents of anxiety and depression and
the issues surrounding this
have become an epidemic it’s literally
unprecedented
some of the other negative side effects
that we are seeing with social media are
low self-esteem
i think we can all agree to that
isolation
and now more than ever i believe people
need connection and they’re feeling
more isolated by using social media
we’re feeling more envious of others so
when we’re using social we’re comparing
ourselves to other people
we’re experiencing addiction more stress
around it fear of missing out and this
is where we find ourselves
having that doing things that we maybe
wouldn’t do otherwise because we see
others doing it
loss of reality instagram right a lot of
that is very distorted of what’s real
and overall negative feelings is what
we’re experiencing
when we’re using social media i believe
this is because
of a pattern that we have starting with
our thoughts
the thoughts that we have over and over
again about ourselves
that we’re in we’re not good enough we
don’t have value to offer
and unknowingly to us when these
thoughts are left unchecked
they start to repeat over and over again
and cause behaviors
they cause habits we start taking
actions
that we maybe wouldn’t otherwise take
and over time
these repetitive actions become our
beliefs about ourselves
start telling ourselves these stories
about ourselves that are not serving us
telling our stories about ourselves that
we’re not good enough
and when this happens we start to
shape this image of ourselves that it’s
very very negative and destructive
and i want to share with you why i got
into social media
so i’d like to introduce you to the
motivators this is my family this is my
husband scott
and my daughters addison and elise and
when i first got into social media it
was for them
at the time i had just overcome a strong
issue with alcohol abuse and won addison
and elise were one and two at the time
and we were like a lot of new families
we were you know knocking
chipping away at some debt and a friend
reached out to me
about her network marketing company and
the opportunity there
and i thought you know what this could
really help us
and at the exact same time addison’s the
preschool owner of her school
she reached out and said addison’s
loving the dance classes that are
happening here
i would like to gift her a six-month
scholarship and i thought
that’s incredible it’s wonderful and
then the very next thought i had was
how are we gonna pay for it at the end
of this six months she’s going to want
to keep going
and i thought this is the perfect
challenge i could do this network
marketing thing and get that going
and this could totally work but i vowed
i was going to be different
i was going to be different the way i
saw that people were using social media
and it felt icky to me but spammy and i
said you know what if i’m gonna do this
i’m gonna be genuine and i’m gonna be
authentic and i did not have a following
at all
i didn’t even have an instagram account
but i decided i was just going to go for
it
so i got a selfie stick and with my cell
phone i just sat my car and i started
going live every week
and i would share my struggles and i
would share my successes
i would share what’s going on i was
being really really just authentic
i would cry on camera i would laugh on
camera
but most importantly i got to know the
people on the other side of that camera
i found out what their hopes were what
their dreams were what their issues were
and i discovered true community i
realized that’s what people wanted they
wanted
real connection that is literally the
secret sauce is people are just craving
authenticity authenticity
so i want you to think about you i want
to think about yourself
when it comes to any success that you
want your life it stems from value
and worth the value we have in ourselves
the worth that we have
and i want to challenge you to stop
playing small
stop seeing yourself as insignificant
and know that by
yourself you have the impact to impact
at least one other person
and that’s how we can create a true
ripple effect in this world
now i want to show you some examples
here of real people
using social media for good first one
i’m going to share with you is catherine
we actually have a lot in common she’s
also celebrating sobriety and she’s a
mom as well
and she told me before she posted this
she was
really nervous to share this post
because she felt very exposed
she was airing her dirty laundry telling
her story about overcoming her alcohol
issues
and she said when she posted it her
inbox a messenger blew up
of women saying thank you for posting
that
thank you for being real thank you for
sharing because that is inspiring me to
make a change
and the key thing she heard was thank
you for being real
this right here is christine and she is
lifting up her grandmother who she
shares had gone through four years of
war
struggled through the depression and
said she was smart and resourceful and
loved
and the reason why i think this is so
important to point out is because think
of
all the blessings that we have right
around us our family our friends
are we taking time to utilize social
media
to to celebrate the people right around
us and all the things that we have to be
grateful for
on the left this is right now and she
has a goofy photo of her and her son
and she says life’s too short to have
everything be perfect
let your hair be messy and yourself be
goofy she is giving other moms
permission to have fun
and be silly and not be perfect and i
think that this is really refreshing
in the middle leanne said that someone
had sent her an unkind message in
messenger
and she said when it happened she
thought how could i turn this into a
positive
so she decided to do a post around it
and she said no matter what little box
someone has put you in
or you have put yourself in know this
you are beautiful creative unique and
bold
you are funny kind you are empowered
you are more than enough don’t let
anyone
including yourself make limiting remarks
about you
or make you feel small now i have to ask
you if you were scrolling on social
media
and you saw a post like this and someone
was speaking truth into you like that
how would that make you feel
if you were on your phone and you saw
this how would it make you
feel that’s what we need to think about
and this one from alicia
alicia chose to grab a photo from
someone else’s facebook profile so she
grabbed kathy’s picture
put it on her own wall on facebook and
shouted out kathy said all the wonderful
things she loved about kathy
and she invited other people to do the
same the last one
i want to share with you is sherry and
sherry
is also a mom as well we have that in
common
and she shared this photo and i love
this so much because
you know she talks about our kids are
watching us and that
they learn by seeing what we’re doing
and she says because i know she watches
you
watches me i choose not to settle i want
to show her what it will
what it looks like to be successful and
how it feels to help others
so go ahead i dare you to be the first
be brave fight fear
believe in yourself and overcome
because if you do so will they
as a mom if i i wasn’t having a great
day and wasn’t feeling like i was
crushing it
and i saw this post it would give me
that little boost it would give me that
little bit of motivation to say okay
you can do this and the way that we’re
using social media right now this is not
what we’re seeing
it’s destructive we’re experiencing you
know big time comparison
and pastor syndrome we’re questioning
who we are
and getting lost in in the sea of social
media
so this is the three steps i want you to
implement instead of comparing yourself
to others
i want you to use this platform to serve
to mentor
and connect with others i want you to
think about how can you make a
difference
instead of imposter syndrome let’s push
that to the side and let’s
create a framework for things that we’re
truly
passionate about maybe for you it is
helping that new mom into motherhood
or maybe you want to help somebody get
that first job you figure out what that
is
and you lean into that and instead of
questioning who we are
let’s lean into this global impact here
of social media never before in the
history have we been able to reach
people
to this extent and this speed than ever
before and let’s use that for good
instead of looking outside of ourselves
let’s look inside let’s claim our truth
let’s claim our good
yes we need to guard our platforms we
need to be mindful of what we’re
consuming that content we’re consuming
and we need to be mindful of the content
we’re putting out there
we we want to use social media for to
fulfill ourselves but we also want to
think about how what we’re putting out
there on social media
now i love this quote from brene brown
and she says
vulnerability is not winning or losing
it’s having the courage to show up and
be seen when we have no control over the
outcome
vulnerability is not weakness it’s our
greatest
measure of courage i believe by being
vulnerable that we can be the light to
others
people need that more now than ever they
are craving community
and connection if we can be the light to
others and show them what’s possible
we can ignite that fire in them for them
to make the changes in their own lives
people come to social media for
inspiration they’re coming
and looking for something good they’re
looking for that beacon of hope
and we can be that to other people and
it truly is that ripple effect that we
can make
to other people and this is the best
part when others see us doing that on
social media that’s truly what social
proof is it’s giving
others permission to make the changes in
their own lives
not only are we giving them the
motivation
but we can also give them the vision
so i want to leave you with a question
can you commit
to leaving people better off than when
you found them on social media
to positively impact at least one other
person a day
i truly believe that we can change
the game through the most powerful form
of communication on the planet
and that is social media thank you