The Achievability of Self Love
[Music]
she looks so pretty
her body is perfect she looks so happy
i wish i look like that why don’t i look
like that
your body’s too hairy you have so much
acne
why are you never good enough these
are just some of the many things i
thought about myself
for my whole life my self-worth and
perception have been based upon
social media validation and approval
how many likes comments and followers i
could get
how many friends i had and how popular i
was
in middle school all i ever cared about
was my appearance
and how to maintain it i would spend
hours upon
hours watching people on social media
and constantly comparing myself to them
i had somehow convinced myself that it
was my outer appearance that mattered
i convinced myself that it was my
personality that should come second to
my looks
because of this i never really had an
ego or pride or self-confidence in
general
people could just say things to me and i
would believe them
and it didn’t matter if they were true
or not and the only times i would ever
truly be happy with myself
would be during feelings of
accomplishment i got a perfect score on
a test i studied really hard for
i just finished a performance on stage
even as simple as
making someone laugh i would be okay
celebrating it because i felt that i
deserved it
but why couldn’t i love myself all the
time no matter the circumstances
the answer is simple but it took me a
long time to realize it
and that because of my need and
dependency for validation
there was no way i could ever truly love
myself
but why not i was sick of the thoughts
that would always go through my head
every time i went on social media i was
sick of always doubting myself
and most importantly i was sick of not
loving myself when i had every reason to
to have self-love means to have a high
regard for your own well-being and
happiness
prioritizing your own needs and not
sacrificing yourself to please others
just having love for your own self
and this isn’t to be confused with
vanity selfishness
conceit or egotism and it’s extremely
hard in today’s society to have
self-love
because of the rise of social media
influencers advertising and marketing
but there are many differing internal
and external factors to self-love
and with all things considered what is
the key to self-love and
how can it be achieved
these statistics can show the negative
impact that social media can have
on self-esteem and self-love but yet as
a society
why do we still let it dominate how we
perceive the world
social media is a tool that people can
use to project themselves onto a
platform
and this means that people will only
post themselves in a positive light
and everyone always wants to look their
best right so we’ll do so by
using filters editing and photoshop
and it’s so easy to deceive others using
social media because you’re only posting
the certain aspects of your life
and this can cause people to really
believe that others
always look runway ready live in these
big houses and drive nice cars when in
reality
it’s all fake people are only posting
what they want you to see
it’s taken me years to understand and
realize that social media shouldn’t be a
viable way to determine my self-worth
someone’s profile and feed are very
different to how they present themselves
in real life
and this is because social media puts
pressure on us to post
as a way of approval or gratification
which can be very detrimental to mental
health
i would always feel self-conscious and
sad when i would see people’s
most recent trip to bali or their 200
calorie dinner or even their workout
plan
and it was toxic and harmful for me
not everyone lives like that and social
media needs to stop feeding the image
that people do
so i’m going to share with you some tips
and advice
that have helped me in my journey to
self-love
asking the question again is self-love
achievable
yes it was a long journey for me to
realize it
but that was because i felt like i was
having an inner battle with myself
the entire time after i was in this
depressive rut
i had an epiphany and as cliche as it
sounds
the answer was in myself the whole time
i realized that i’m my own person
and that i shouldn’t be seeking
validation in others but instead myself
so now i’m going to share with you some
tips and advice that helped helped me
in learning to love myself and i
understand that everyone is different
and what may work for some people may
not work for others and that’s
completely okay
there’s many different methods and ways
for everyone out there but these are
just some that i’ve had personal
experience with
that have truly helped me practicing
self-compassion and mindfulness
to do this you need to get rid of those
negative thoughts and emotions
acknowledging when you’re wrong and not
hating yourself for it
as well as practicing non-judgmental
tendencies
this step took me one of the longest and
is still something that i struggle with
to this day
and the thing that you have to do is
every time you hear that little inkling
of that voice in your head you just need
to shut it out and ignore it
and the main factor in doing this is
time it’ll take
time to implement a more positive
mindset and it will take
time because loving yourself is a
process that doesn’t happen overnight
and once you get through that first bump
the rest will come easier
getting rid of perfectionism society has
always conditioned us that we always
feel like we need to look perfect
have excellent grades and always be
happy but we need to learn to dissociate
ourselves from that perfectionism
we need to acknowledge and address these
issues and where they come from and why
we’re having them we need to alter our
mindsets to not let us feel bad if
something goes wrong or if we’re not
perfect because not being perfect
doesn’t equal bad
you’re not going to be the different
person than you are if you’re not
perfect
and being happy with being imperfect
will give you the freedom and peace of
mind to do what’s achievable and what is
right for you
and as cliche as it sounds not everyone
is perfect so we need to stop
acting like we’re trying to be
this step can take on many forms such as
putting healthier foods into your body
taking the time needed for your mental
health and being productive instead of
procrastinating
and ending bad relationships with people
that may not be serving you anymore
and this can be difficult because you
need to realize that you have to put
yourself first
and if you’re not taking care of your
body properly your mind will start to
feel like it’s not being cared for as
well
and vice versa and this can add on to an
abundance of unneeded stress
which isn’t really necessary for the day
to day
and there on the other hand there are
other many health benefits to
exercising and eating healthier when it
comes to exercising you’re healing your
body
and it can fight illnesses and help in
return help the mind
by giving it the energy and serotonin it
needs to combat mental illnesses if you
have them
and eating healthy can lower your risks
of disease and improve your immune
system
and i know this seems like a lot but if
you carry on with this your well-being
will thank you
and lastly this may be one of the
hardest obstacles to overcome
especially with how present social media
is in society and our lives
but you just have to remember that your
body is unique and beautiful
it takes you places it heals you and it
protects you
you need to get rid of those negative
thoughts and put your mind
first happiness cannot be found in the
body
but in the mind and that’s just
something that we need to remind
ourselves of
and this is something that will take
some time because it’s a process
when you think of yourself you need to
only have thoughts of love and
appreciation
and you need to counteract that voice in
your head that’s telling you
you’re wrong for example if you think
oh i’m going to fail my test today try
thinking
no i’m an intelligent person and i will
pass my test today
i understand that these may not work for
everyone but i’m speaking from my
personal experience and i would not give
advice
unless i have had the experience and
know that these are to be true
and i also understand that speaking
about it is so much easier than doing
but self-love is a process and it’s
i understand that it’s not as simple as
just going down a list of steps
it may be easier or harder for other
people
because everyone’s different with
different mindsets and
you shouldn’t feel that it’s important
to love yourself in a certain way
because someone else is doing that
and you should do what feels right for
you
and i know that learning to love
yourself can seem like an impossible
feat
but once you get through that barrier
there’s an amazing horizon beyond that
to have the confidence to always speak
your mind express your creativity
is endless being able to know understand
and distinguish your place in the world
achieving self-love may seem like it’s
impossible
but it’s not overcoming these obstacles
with your newly gained knowledge
and strength once you reach that summit
anything is possible
if we all lived in a world where we did
not get down on ourselves for our flaws
we would act very differently as a
society we would be able to get more
things done because our minds would be
focused on the bigger picture rather
than our own insecurities
there wouldn’t be this immense pressure
on ourselves all the time to feel like
we always need to be perfect
and the love that we have for ourselves
could come back to us
you could think of it like karma the
love that we have for ourselves
can in return inspire others to love
themselves and then will eventually make
its way back to us
if we all lived in a humane world with
happiness and good things
the way to that is that we need to
cultivate love for ourselves and each
other first
this concern can elevate the
consciousness of yourself and everyone
around you
which will open up a realm of new
possibilities to a greater world
thank you