It Takes A Village
it takes a village to raise a child
it is from an african proverb
in my case it took two countries to
raise my son
i’m a single mother for 18 years a
mentor for three years
and a teacher for 30 years and a college
student
for 15 years
i’m here to share a story about my life
project
raising my son internationally and
how a wonderful collaborative project
can occur
in daily life my son was born
and raised in kobe japan thankfully
my white american ex-husband accepted
his job in japan for our son to be born
there
because we lost our first son in the u.s
we moved from the u.s to japan for our
second son
our my son and my
leap of faith journey started from his
one statement
in portland
mom i’m american citizen i have my right
to study in the u.s
even if i become homeless
i have a right to study in the u.s
correct
it was what my son said to me when he
was nine years old
when i took him to my international
teachers conference
at portland state university
in my mind did he just say he wants to
study
he was avoiding any of his studies
including
english i encouraged my son to
interact with english-speaking children
for that reason i took him to the only
one
full english service catholic church in
kobe japan
almost every sunday it took us more than
an
hour each ways to get there by walk
bus and train
it was the only place i could think
about
except international private schools
where i tried to get a job
so i could afford his tuition
because my son is mixed race he does
not look totally japanese like me
once the u.s immigration officer at the
airport asked me
where did you meet him
that was a surprise question for me
in my mind okay i guess
he has been with me since i was pregnant
how can i answer this question what does
what does this question really mean
it was a good question which i have
never thought about
i answered to the officer this is my son
he came from me thinking
how can i prove he’s my son
another time when we were stopped by an
us immigration officer
the air between the officer and me
became tense
so my son started crying the officer
told me that
it was my fault our fault
i was coming to the u.s from japan
legally
and i was trying to come to the us for
my son’s education
because he is an american citizen and
thinking of his future
he was doing his job and i was doing
my job as a mother
i told my son quietly
please remember this moment so
you can figure out how to make this
system better
as a bridge between the us and japan in
the future
they are just doing their job
i wanted my son to feel his belonging to
both of the countries
because he felt outsider from both
another officer kept telling this
officer look
her attitude and she does not do
anything
wrong he was trying to
let us go japan is a relatively
homogeneous country
my son and only one more student were
different color in his school
which had about 700 students
just imagine 698 students
totally look asian only two students
are mixed with white a different color
one time when i went to pick him up at
the park
at dusk he told me
mama mama don’t know
you don’t know what i’ve been through
i was stunned
i thought about how he had been feeling
isolated from others in japan
i am in that majority in japan
equivalent of white person in the u.s
my son is noticeably a minority
due to his appearance in japan but
of course he was born and raised in
japan so
his inside is totally japanese
it is funny that his whiteness from his
face stands out
in japan in the u.s his asian side
from his face stands out he is
opposite from a chimerian
people in japan talk to him in english
even though
he only spoke japanese people admired
his japanese
which is his mother tongue
education is my specialty i went to a
graduate school in japan
while teaching english to research
how to educate my son and student to be
bilingual
and bicultural 10 years old is a key
stage for language learning so
when my son declared his strong will to
study english
in the u.s which opened a huge new door
for him
a strong motivation is a key for any
learning
i told him
well let me think how i can help you
my son became a leader for my life and
a follower in my adventure for him
my father encouraged us to find a place
for us to live comfortably
because he saw our struggles in japan
however it was not easy right
shortly after we moved to the u.s my son
cried saying
i said i wanted to come here that is why
we are here right
of course it was a big challenge for him
to adopt a new life in the u.s
without knowing much english i replied
so
yes my son we cannot go back now
we want to make it then it was
just amazing to see how much he started
talking
english being in the u.s only for three
months
even though his academic struggle lasted
almost five years since then
what a guy minas everybody is a teacher
for me
through this adventure i learned
that i do not know what i do not know
to know what i do not know i need to be
a student to everybody including
my own baby 18 years ago when i was
cleaning a room
and i was thinking aloud to give up my
dream to go to graduate school
my son was two years old at that time he
overheard me saying this
and told me mama demo sure mama
mom that is what you want to do right
his word spoke to me deeply without his
words
i’m not here we are all collaborators
each other we do not know who
and what will teach us when and how
even before my child was born my mother
and i always talked about
what the best way to educate my
mixed-race child
elementary schooling should be in japan
and the rest of the education should be
in the u.s
japanese elementary schools are good for
displaying
and learning japanese which is called to
be a hard language to learn
and american schools are better to
nurture
special talents
this plan was programmed in me so strong
that it kept me going even after her
death
and my divorce when my son was two years
old
our family friends teachers mentors
co-workers the catholic church lacoste
eagle mayor mr mrs studebaker’s family
even strangers on the street and grocery
stores
have been supporting our journey
i have never expected this challenging
exciting
and blessed journey with my son
it is a miracle for me to see my son now
in college in the u.s
this journey is a good example of an
internationally collaborated project
in this individualistic society we may
ask ourselves
why do we need to collaborate what makes
us excited about collaboration how can
we create
our own family and the community bonding
with feeling love and bonding trust
building trust what collaboration can we
perform with
others through our jobs and daily lives
respect each other be beneficial in our
community
and create community to be thrived
interdependent and collaborative
i hope my son and i can be beneficial
for for this society
it is time for us to return the favor to
our community which has been
nurturing us and after all
i think we work simply to enjoy meals
together with
our favorite people for that reason
we like to work together to build wealth
in many ways
understand respect and care for each
other
building a relationship in a loving way
and building trust
so we can be beneficial for our society
which nurtures us
my son told me with his relaxed voice a
couple of years after living in the us
i was outsider from both countries
before
now i feel belonging to both countries i
have many friends in both
countries this comment made me feel
deeply thankful it’s worth
effort to come to the us
i think it is time for us to create
win-win-win situation
by taking actions collaboratively
beyond categorizing people based on
gender
race age disability
or socio-economic status
so we can benefit from any ability from
many kinds of people to create something
new
thankfully my son and i are enjoying
creating community
through having suppers with many kinds
of family
and friends from many countries
currently my son is 20 years old
it took a huge village combined two
countries
to raise him and he raised me
i thank all our supporters in both
countries
now i hope all of us here
can see together how such an
awesome international project can occur
collaboratively in our daily life
fortunately my sons become totally
bilingual bicultural
my son asked me in english fluently
after his high school graduation
so now what do you want to do mom
currently i am a mentor at portland
state university
this is my ideal job at this point
while my son achieves his dream job he
helps me to achieve my dream job
i dedicate this speech to honor our
supporters
especially my parents in heaven
cousin thank you
father and mother
and i would like to say thank you
for listening