Stop Bottling Up Your Story. The World Needs You.
[Music]
i’m
a story seeker and today i’m here to
find yours
my name is jen hobby rivera and
professionally i work in
radio and television so my entire career
has been based on digging for good
stories
telling compelling stories and
witnessing stories
breed miracles so my mission today is
twofold first it’s to find your story
and second
it’s to change your definition of your
own success
because your success is rooted in your
story
you see i believe you should measure
your own success
by the degree to which you are sharing
your story
to serve the world
so why do this well let’s consider
the old ladder of success the one that
our culture has groomed you
into believing you know the one with
money
fame power fancy titles on that success
ladder
well if that’s your measurement of your
worth and success then
you can go from the top of that ladder
to the bottom in just an instant
you can go from earning an a to an f in
a moment
in one decision but there is a better
way
there’s a better way to measure your
success and it’s in
decibels follow me here perhaps as a
radio person
i can convince you of a new measurement
you see
sound energy travels in waves
and is measured in frequency and
amplitude
and amplitude in physics is just is
defined
as the maximum extent of a vibration
so could you instead measure your own
success
by the maximum extent of your
unique vibration let me tell you the
story of my radio career to
illustrate so i’ve worked in a very male
dominated field for about 20 years now
and i have been clawing my way up that
ladder just trying to make sure
that i can hold my own and step up to
the microphone so to speak
well in 2019 i was named host
of a morning drive radio show the only
woman in atlanta to anchor a show with
two male co-hosts
and we were a great team we worked so
hard together and in 2020 i was given a
top
honor in my field it’s called a gracie
award from the alliance for women in
media
for hosts in a large market now
on this success ladder i was feeling
like i had reached that gold star that
shiny prize
my internal measurement was flying high
well
in the exact same week of the award
ceremony
i lost my show my company went through
budget cuts
they flipped the music formats and my
show was
ended now if i only measured my success
over here on that success ladder what am
i then
am i just a failure no my perspective
changed
years ago and i’m going to explain to
you exactly who and how that perspective
changed
but if i’m measuring my success over
here
by the maximum extent of my vibration
of how much i’ve been pouring my unique
story into the world
and if by using that vulnerability i
make connection
and action then i’ve actually been using
the microphone
in the way that it was intended and i’m
actually still
earning that internal a plus
now let’s talk about this old success
ladder right this one with fame money
power
influence achievement awards on it
now how does that ladder leave you
feeling
when let’s say you get your paycheck
does it make you feel
unworthy ungrateful how does this ladder
make you feel when you share
about your life does it make you feel
nervous stressed out
anxious because this ladder
actually exists to drown out your story
this ladder wants your story to
disappear so that its story
can reign king but instead
could we look at a different measurement
now there’s nothing inherently wrong
with money fame influence or power
but it’s why you want it and what you do
with
it that makes the difference so
let’s talk about this new succession
success measurement
and how do we do it well first we got to
find your story and i’m going to help
you do that when you answer three simple
questions here in just a second
two you got to share that story and then
three you’ve got to
feel your frequency allow that frequency
of connection
to fill you up fill your cups so to
speak
and that be your measurement for success
so i told you my perspective changed
forever
well it changed on a childhood cancer
floor of a hospital
where my family and i were residents you
see my husband and i have two
amazing daughters they are seven and
five
and our younger daughter is a childhood
cancer survivor
and i could go on and on today about the
amazing doctors
the nurses that are truly angels on
earth
and the life-giving research that saved
my daughter’s life but there was
actually
another person who made an even bigger
impression upon me there
and she changed my perspective on
success forever
her name’s anita miss anita we called
her
because in the south you raise kids and
you put titles in front of first names i
don’t know why we do it we just do so we
called her miss anita
and by the employee records there at the
hospital
miss anita is a custodian a janitor
she comes in those hospital rooms and
she’ll change the
vomit covered sheets and the
bloodstained blankets she mops
she dusts she replaces toiletries but
miss anita never saw her job as that of
a custodian
no she took care of her babies
i can remember like it was yesterday her
opening the door
quietly saying how’s my baby doing
and miss anita found a way to make her
babies and their parents feel better
she was always there to offer an
encouraging word
ask a question and really listen to your
answer
a kind touch even a prayer
miss anita figured out what the rest of
us are still
trying to learn she is using her story
to serve the world and she did it room
after room day after day when behind
those doors
were children going bald connected to
machines
and devastated parents like me
living their worst nightmare
you see miss anita
doesn’t clean hospital rooms she heals
families she’s a healer
so what is miss anita’s story i don’t
know all the things that led her up
to the ocean of empathy that is in her
heart
but what i do know is she pours it out
into the people she meets every day she
healed my families and so many other
families
and miss anita is using the maximum
extent of her vibration
to serve the world okay
so how do we do this first we got to
find your story
now that’s pretty daunting of a task
right it’s like looking at a blank page
and somebody’s saying write a novel
right now you go ah
panic i don’t know what to do well i
want you to answer these three
simple questions and we’re going to find
the seed of your story
number one what is the biggest obstacle
that you’ve
overcome the biggest struggle that you
have survived
because you did it you managed your way
through it you survived it you’re here
to hear this message today
second question what are your roots how
did you grow up
differently than everybody else that you
know
and number three what
lights you up inside what is it that
gives you so much joy it’s a spiritual
experience you like lose track of time
when you’re doing it
you just feel born to do it it’s easy to
you
just comes quickly and easily flows
somewhere in the answer to those three
questions
is the seed to your unique story
now i told you earlier that i have been
digging for good stories my entire
career
i’ve got a gut test for that okay so
when you think of the seed of that story
if your gut goes ugh
and your warning defenses fly up and you
go no way
that is just too embarrassing too weird
too joyful people will think i’m
bragging or to
anything if it’s too whatever you know
you’ve got the seed to a great story
because that’s
it that’s where your story starts to
make a connection
and that connection is where your story
starts to serve
the world okay so we’re finding your
story
i can see the wheels turning you got
your story second thing is you gotta
share it with the world
okay so what does that mean do you have
to have a
radio show with a goofy name and funny
sound effects to share your story no do
you have to go viral or have a million
instagram followers to share your story
and make it worth it
no sharing your story could mean sharing
it with just one person
just one child whose eyes shine a little
bit
brighter because of your story
sharing your story could mean your
co-workers or your customers
it could mean your congregation your
classroom
your book club which we all really know
is wine club
totally cool get it i’m there too it
means that your story’s not meant to
live
all bottled up inside of you it’s meant
to be shared
and the last thing is we’ve got to feel
that frequency
that connection that spark that service
to the world is what will give you more
joy
and energy if this ladder leaves you
feeling despair
this ladder gives you enthusiasm and
passion and all joy
now i’ve got you finding your story
sharing your story you’re going to feel
feel that frequency you’re going to fuel
yourself with it
now i’ve got one more challenge for you
how many of you
are parents or how many of you have a
child in your life that you just
love this is the kid that you could just
hug and you never want to let them go
well how are we measuring their success
are are we taking our next generation
and putting them right back on this
ladder again
is the sports field only about winning
winning winning
is it only about perfect attendance and
grades and highest
test scores achievement and awards
how are we recognizing when our kids are
pouring their heart and their story into
the world
how can we make sure they know that’s
the priority that’s the way that we
measure their success you know
my husband drives our kids to school in
the morning because until
very recently mom was on the radio and
he does these affirmation questions with
them each day on the way to school and
they answer with
gusto he says who is brave i am they say
who’s kind me who’s smart me who’s a
leader
i am who’s going to pour their heart
into all they
do today i am who’s going to go out
and serve the world i am
how do we make sure our next generation
is able to share their heart and their
story
to the maximum extent of their vibration
let’s throw ice cream parties for that
so why do this why find your story why
share it why feel that frequency why
have a different measurement of success
because the world is waiting for your
story
your messy painful
joyful trailblazing ever evolving
survival story it matters
give it decibels go give your unique
story
frequency and amplitude to serve
the world and that my friend is success
[Music]
you