The Story of my Life.
[Music]
it’s not where you start
it’s where you finish that’s not how you
go
it’s how you land this lyric from see
saw the musical always reminds me that
we don’t often have control of where we
start
and while we do have some control of the
destination we have little control
of the twists and turns that life throws
our way our job
is to focus on that landing and being
open to the possibilities because where
you land
is not always what you planned this is
me at three
painfully shy so why i thought
a career in theater was a good idea
still baffles me today
i figure it’s a combo of three things
number one my older brother was doing it
and any cool points i could get with him
was necessary
number two nobody told me that i had to
audition and finally
the magic the very first musical i saw
was alibaba at riverside children’s
cedar
my brother was one of the leads and i
will never forget being in a packed
audience watching my brother sing
completely off-key
with a hundred other kids running around
stage entertaining a crowd
that was magic and i wanted to be a part
of it
sitting in a seat very close to the one
in this picture they called my name
my mom nudged me to get up on the stage
tears immediately started swelling up as
i went center stage
and made the 90 degree turn to face my
critics and the 100 other kids that
were there to audition that day i
immediately began to ugly cry through my
song
and i glanced over at my mom for moral
support the problem was she was crying
too
but i did it and i got cast
well all right so so did every other kid
whose parents were willing to
pay for the admission that year but
i said yes dopey was definitely my big
breakout role
very appropriate because these ears were
so big they didn’t fit the prosthetics
so they had to put little spot toppers
on top
that was awesome two years later i
landed the title role of pinocchio in
pinocchio this is my best friend ryan to
this day
and my little sister playing cleo the
fish
auditions got easier and i actually
started enjoying myself
peter pan at riverside civic or opera at
riverside
community college was my very first
semi-pro gig
the show gave me three unique firsts
first unlike riverside children’s
theater
not everybody who auditioned got in
number two
i got my first college credits thank you
very much 1.5 units
and number three it was the very first
time
i was around kids that really wanted to
be there
total theater nerds i mean they had
professional head shots
some had agents one had even been on tv
and legit some of them had like some
serious stage moms
but surrounding myself with that kind of
drive and being aware of the talent in
the room
inspired me to work harder and i was
hooked
so i was a little surprised in my high
school career
that basically said arts didn’t rank at
all i had no idea what i wanted to do so
why not i decided to apply to cal state
fullerton for an advertising major
with a minor in music wasn’t ready to
give up arts just yet
at the end of my second year i was
walking down the music department and i
saw
a flyer the american musical and
dramatic academy
new york city two-year conservatory
i said yes i got accepted and i picked
up everything and moved all the way to
new york city for the fall semester
this is times square in 1997.
very close to the scene of my very first
broadway musical
greece starring xena the warrior
princess as rizzo
as i watched my very first broadway show
i got wicked concerned
not because the tv princess was playing
in the musical but because
i was clearly not ready every single
cast member down to the smallest of the
ensemble was absolute perfection
i had some serious work to do and i was
very aware
that i was not ready i saw every
broadway show possible
one of my favorite habits was going in a
half hour early as soon as they opened a
theater and i would pour through the
playbill
i wanted to know what every cast member
had done in their career i wanted to
know where they trained and who they
gave credit to because
success leaves clues why start from
scratch right
every show inspired me to work a little
bit harder i began to sign up for extra
classes and gymnastics outside of school
i knew that there was 100 guys right
behind me that wanted it just as bad as
i did
if not more and i had to show up and
play hard
to save money to pay for all my extra
classes i lived in some
very interesting places this is my bed
in the hallway and hell’s kitchen
the bricks would often crumble on my
face in the middle of the night there
was no ac
the bathroom was off the kitchen and it
didn’t have a door and i had to climb
four flights of stairs just to get in
the apartment
and i loved it i loved every minute of
it
i didn’t come to new york city to sleep
after graduation i learned that the arts
was not an easy profession
i signed up for a career that i got
rejection almost every day
i didn’t always know where my next
paycheck was going to come from
and i had to be willing to pick up
absolutely everything and go somewhere
completely new however long they needed
me at the drop of a hat
even in foreign countries if my parents
had an inkling that
i would fail or that hey i even sucked
they never let me know
they made it a habit of surprising me at
almost every single show i ever did
even showing up in foreign countries
even
when i was playing ricky martin out of
puerto rico
good casting choice they were my
champions
champions are those inner circle people
that love and authentically support you
no matter what they don’t always have to
be blood related
because when life gets hard you need
them around you you better cultivate
those
champions be aware of who they are and
treat them right
because you’re going to need them this
picture was one of those moments
i didn’t tell you the complete story of
why i ended up in new york
yes i left to pursue a dream and maybe
it’s because i was listless in
california
but i also ran away
i long knew i was gay and i genuinely
feared that the moment i came out i
would be disowned
new york city was my exit and a way to
completely go out on my own and know
that i would be okay
i don’t have time for that story in this
story
but my worst nightmare never came true
these two
were my champions and they never let me
down
and that’s a good thing because they i
did not disappoint i came with great
stories and some great trips that they
got to go on
my first break came out of college it
was a european tour of 42nd street
what you can tell in this photo was i’m
dancing with on a sprained ankle
and i’m with parasite yup my first night
in europe i ate two street burgers and
ended up in a spanish hospital
but i never missed the performance
i wish i had a picture of my first union
contract princess turndot
i was probably too busy doing eight
shows a week off broadway working 30
hours a week
and juggling a full-time schedule so i
could finish my undergrad degree
who has time for pictures when you’re
doing that kind of schedule
but i showed up i never missed a show
and i never let him see me sweat
my most embarrassing audition was
definitely damn yankees at the call back
all the guys were asked to
throw some tricks because there was a
number in the show where every single
ball player had to be able to tumble
surrounded by 50 other guys and in front
of the entire directing team i proceeded
to do a round off
backhand spring back tuck ish
i didn’t stick the landing well i did
stick the landing into the laps of the
casting directors
i missed the landing but i got the gig
they said yes and i was really lucky
they did
you see the dance camp that damn yankees
introduced me to
another friend of his who worked on wall
street and i wouldn’t appreciate this
moment in time until many many years
later
from 5 pm to 1 at night at rockefeller
center i was in a bullpen with other
professional artists working on
acquisition and merger presentations
these presentations compiled
massive amounts of data showing off
potential deals to investors
and i really liked it i learned about
branding
marketing corporate due diligence and
data uh
creative and data guy unicorn status
right
i know the job allowed me to finish my
undergrad
it had allowed me to hit all my
auditions and even take gigs outside of
the city for months knowing that when i
got back
they would hire me back and i was
incredibly grateful
my pro my professional career started
picking up steam
i was getting call backs for three
broadway productions my agent was
calling a little bit more
and i was on the edge so close of
getting what i had come to new york for
and on the 62nd floor of rockefeller
center
i got the call the cancer had returned
mom was in stage four and suddenly it
didn’t matter anymore
i sold everything in return to
california
my champions needed me this time
i moved to la to be closer to auditions
while still being close enough to
parents
45 minutes without traffic after this
production of music man that you see
here i was forced to have unexpected
ankle surgery
desperate to make the cast of the west
coast premiere of miss saigon happen the
following season
i did the surgery i did my physical
therapy i auditioned and they
said yes one of the most talented cast
i’ve ever gotten to work with
on the first day of troubling rehearsal
i went down
i went down hard prognosis
back arthritis and a torn disc
years of not listening to doctor’s
orders and thinking i was invincible had
finally caught up with me
at 28 shift
i i didn’t have a choice a decade of
building a professional brand
gone just like that
no time to waste i immediately began
looking for my next chapter
thankfully all those skills in new york
transferred
beautifully i booked a marketing gig in
construction and within six months
wall street was calling again i got the
gig
i cleared my background test and was due
to start in a week when i got another
call back
uh more like the top secretary meeting
with me privately to let me know who the
real boss was
yeah as a performer professional union
actor
i like to get paid for drama i called my
pops afterwards kvetching
discouraged he let me emotional bar for
a little bit
and then he casually stated come work
with me
my dad was a flipper my first memory of
flipping houses was at around
age five sucking cockroaches up with a
vacuum all afternoon as my family was
pulling old carpet up from a
roach-infested house i said yes
the family business had expanded to
lending to flippers as well as
investor training within the first year
we rebranded the company
we created a 400 page report with 800
charts
called the california crash warning
investors it was time to get out of
california to escape the foreclosure
crisis ahead
we then spent the next 12 months
creating 1200 pages of market strategies
on what investors should be doing to
thrive in the shifting market
we even launched a radio show in 2007
interviewing thought leaders across our
industry while giving
access to nerd status intel not
typically available in our industry
in 2008 at the height of the great
recession i approached dad with another
brilliant idea hey pops how about we
invite
400 people to a black tie event at the
nixon presidential library
we’ll feed them all we’ll put together
an expert panel
and we’ll pay for everything so 100 of
what we can raise goes to charity in
honor of mom
it’s like dinner theater for real estate
he said yes and so did our panelists
our speakers progressively got more
national in scope to include
top technology brands and government
officials
for a small company like ours it was a
huge coup
it was really surprising to watch of
some of the skills i had picked up in
new york
transferred some by sheer chance
it all began to pay off i won’t pretend
that part was easy
there was certainly a sense of lingering
failure from new york city
and there was definitely a sense of
imposter syndrome
what right did i have to be part of some
real estate business
instead of focusing on the doubt i dug
in
i focused on learning i went back and
got my mba at uc irvine to up my data
game
after graduation my partner said hey why
don’t you start serving on boards
sounds great i don’t even know boards
really do but i’m here for it i
said yes constantly looking to grow and
to challenge myself
at one point i was serving on eight
boards and committees that started all
over the county and eventually
the country and i loved it
i had accidentally stumbled on a second
passion i didn’t even know
existed a few years earlier philanthropy
who knew i got to work with pops
i got to give back in incredibly
meaningful ways and i got to
be close to mom we even checked off some
of the most spectacular
international bucket list trips with her
after 17 years of fighting cancer six of
which were stage four
my number one champion passed
i want you to know i never regret
showing up for her
and moving back to california not once
quite the opposite i am forever grateful
after mom passed i was inspired to
update the mission of our business to
building wealth and legacy through real
estate
helping small business owners crush it
was already part of our niche
adding the legacy piece inspiring small
businesses to give back created a whole
new fire under me
and an unique path winner within our
company
there’s this terrible misconception that
giving is strictly a function of money
but time and talent holds just as much
value as treasure
sometimes more you don’t have to be
wealthy
you don’t have to be over 40 you don’t
even have to look a certain way
you just have to show up that’s it you
have to say yes
what surprised me the most is giving
back actually gave back
to me i learned more about leadership in
the last 15 years volunteering on boards
than i did at work or any other formal
education setting
this newfound passion turned into
national speaking gigs
as well as writing for forbes.com and
several other national outlets
this is the magazine cover think realty
magazine and they were nice enough to do
a feature of dad and i on their 2018
cover
we created i survive real estate to give
back and to honor my mom
i had zero idea it would take on a life
of its own
six months ago when i agreed to do this
talk this is roughly where i would have
stopped
up in that top right corner is a me
moderating the panel in 2019 at i
survive real estate
on the stage is the ceo of property
radar shawn o’toole
we only met because of this event and we
watched each other’s work
over the last decade long story short
as vice president of market insights for
property radar
i get to speak nationally helping small
businesses leverage data
to disrupt disruptors and win by doing
things wall street companies won’t
and yes of course it always includes a
little bit of local
philanthropy i continue to work remotely
for with the norris group and i remain
co-owner
and in a few days from when i’m taping
this right now we will be taping i
survive real estate
2020 now in its 13 years and we are just
about
30 grand away from crossing the million
dollar mark
i would have never thought that that shy
three-year-old would have competed at
the broadway level
i didn’t know my 28 year old body would
have given out and dash my dreams
i had no idea playing a ball player and
screwing up an audition
would lead to a side hustle in new york
that would eventually lead me to working
for my family business
after coming out i didn’t think i would
ever even move back to california
and nobody gave me the script showing me
it was possible to find a second passion
and that philanthropy would be the
gateway to writing national speaking and
a career
in technology it’s okay to not know
where you’re going
please say yes to weird to interesting
and the scary things
collect and cherish your champions work
to find
opportunity in every disappointment
and please be generous with your time
your talent and your treasure at 43
i’m telling you the lyric is spot on
it’s not where you start it’s where you
finish
it’s not how you go it’s how you land