Strength is an Inside Job
[Applause]
quick glimpse into my childhood i’m not
gonna take really long but
that’s me now the thing is i grew up
in india i was born in england and i
moved here at the age of three
and i have to say that i had an
upbringing that was
as indian as it gets i’m indian at heart
and i grew up really having a childhood
that was really quite carefree
no no stresses about an identity crisis
or worrying about
you know what i was or what people
perceived me to be
and um i have to say i’m hoping that
most people can relate to that kind of a
childhood you know
everything is really carefree nothing
much stresses you out
what begins now though as we get older
and
maybe i probably i’m hoping i look kind
of young but i’ll tell you how old i am
in a second
but when we end when we enter our teens
or at least when i did
there was a lot of self-talk that
happened in my head
and a lot of it when i think about it
now was negative
and therefore the next that’s the next
part of my
little story that’s me growing up can
you find me right there on the corner
i look happy right the thing is i was
happy
but this photograph did something to me
through my childhood
because all i could focus on was the
size of my calves
okay so they are what twice or three
times larger than my friends sitting
next to me
am i right now this made me realize that
you know what i
am bigger right definitely taller
i was also nicknamed macho man in school
and although i
didn’t have any major issues with body
image per se
it was something like this that would
definitely play on my mind and make me
realize or
or it would actually manifest into
something where i would be like you know
what i am slightly different
and i feel this part of childhood
everybody goes through is where you
start to get these feelings of
this talk that is somewhat negative you
compare yourself with self-doubt it
happens
i was somewhere around 12 13 early 10
years this carries on
through my school years now i was
sporting but i was big
which meant i had some skill but you can
see me there looking again
really happy clearly i knew how to pose
for photographs
legs bigger and whiter than most the
people around me i have to say that when
i’m
i’m able to sit here confidently saying
this but for a long time these pictures
were hidden
in my house as far under coffee table
books as possible
because i didn’t want people to see them
but all through school i was shy
underconfident when it came to public
speaking ironically
in fact all my report cards will tell
you that i really liked
speaking um in public and i needed to
participate more
but this was my my uh teen years and 14
15
16 um so i still knew that i had this
issue with confidence and i was quieter
but you know
luckily during my during these years no
matter how i looked at it
and what i remember is that worrying
about our image size and dieting and the
world
the world that we exist in today didn’t
exist then because honestly
when i think back now i could probably
eat so much
maggie more than you guys could probably
eat right now literally in one sleepover
so i remember not having an issue with
food etc but i remember having a
confidence issue
i remember having um you know these
these thoughts that kept coming into my
mind that were rather negative where you
talk negatively to yourself
and that was what um i remember quite
clearly
when i was growing up now as i um
as i grew up and i went to college i
like to call
these voices in my head just self-talk
because
i chose graphic design ironically in
school
in college when i went there and that
meant i could hide behind a computer
screen
and i didn’t have to speak to anybody
which was great because
that meant i didn’t have to interact and
you know have to meet
many people or participate or so i
thought because college
at least where i studied in london meant
you have to present your work right if
you’re a graphic designer you need to
have an opinion
and you need to be able to sell a pitch
so
in college i would spend sleepless
nights
practicing how to speak publicly how to
present my work
and let’s be honest there were
situations that looked somewhat like
this where
we would all have to display our work on
the wall and then
the teacher would nicely go and pick out
things that they would like or not like
at all
and usually mine would be in that
category because you know you’re
learning and it’s fine
it is what it is but i would never claim
my work when they’d be like so
whose is that just from their tone i
knew
i ain’t answering i’m just gonna sit
quietly over here and let someone else
just carry on be like they don’t know
who’s it is
great so there was a lot of that okay
all through college
and the truth is um
[Music]
when i came back to india after studying
i got through college i did i did all
right
um i was good at what i did and i was
good at drawing and i was good at
graphic design and computer skills and
all of that and when i came back i
started working for an advertising
agency
now i was you know still uh quiet and
uh not so confident but again it allowed
me to hide behind the computer
and through that because advertising is
a really stressful world to be in i was
able to
quit that and start my own design firm
which was a little better because you
know now i was my own boss
but that didn’t mean that um i still
didn’t have all the stresses of running
a business etc
and i have to say that a lot of the time
when you’re alone behind a computer i’m
sure a lot of you can maybe relate in
this room
you have a lot of time where you can
just talk to yourself i don’t know if
people do that and i knew that
i did do that a lot um and i would
really start to question
this was what i really loved doing i was
good at it
but i don’t know if i really loved it
and i would spend and catch myself you
know looking out of the window and being
like what
dude i wish i was just lying there in
the sun having a new
funny and just relaxing you know rather
than working to deadlines and that was
what
uh i used to feel like all the time and
this this quote that i found really
sort of resonated with me because back
then actually it really it really stuck
with me
because i wasn’t sure if i was loving
and enjoying what i was doing
what happened next was this desire to do
something crazy and different and you
know something that wasn’t so
quiet and alone i decided to challenge
myself and i was like you know what
i’m gonna climb a mountain i was gonna
pick the third highest mountain in the
world and i’m gonna climb it
i found two people to climb with me and
i did it and honestly this was a turning
point
and the main reason i think is when i
think about it now
is i need to get in some kind of shape i
need to get a little fit
so i thought you know i need to join a
gym much to the people who accompanied
me and thought you know what i’m just
going to run up that mountain i don’t
need to train for it i took it a little
more seriously
and i was like you know what i need to
train for it and
in the back of my head about this time
um i feel
cultured all things in society were
different there was a lot of awareness
about self-image and losing weight and
things were flying around now
um and i remember thinking that great
you know i can hit two birds with one
stone
i can climb a mountain i can get some
weight and the whole process i’m gonna
look fab by the end of this trip
anyway what happens
and what did happen is that even though
i managed to climb this mountain and i
got to the top and all of that
i didn’t lose weight but i became fit
because you know you need some fuel to
get up this mountain right nobody’s
going to carry you up the mountain right
so what does that mean you eat
okay so i didn’t lose the weight part it
got me fit
and that was good enough because getting
in to the first exercise class that i
decided to join so this is just jumping
back a little bit before this
where i was like a couple of months i
need to get fit i need to get to the gym
now this class like i said
was a changing moment for me as was
deciding to climb kilimanjaro
and those voices in my head because i’m
telling you i came from a background of
a lot of talking to myself
okay some people might think i’m a
little crazy but it happened okay
it happens and i’m sure i’m hoping i
think most of you can relate you talk to
yourself a lot maybe you don’t realize
it but now you will now that i’m telling
you
but this chapter of my life became a lot
more positive
not in necessarily when i think about it
then but i knew
that the conversation in my head was
different
and this exercise class actually changed
my life because
when i walked in there i was um
probably half the age of everybody else
in that room
these women right here in delhi not so
long ago
they had the energy that i can’t even
describe
they had the confidence they had this
this
attitude where they were just like you
know i’m gonna let loose
they were so serious about it i mean i
would reach there and i’m the shy quiet
little person and they’d be like
standing at the door
like aggressively ready to go and get
their spot in their gl
in the class and i was like wow this is
intense and then the music would come on
and they just start
you know warming up and ever looking at
themselves in the mirror and i’m just
like whoa
you know like who are all of them and
where is the space
but there was something about their
energy and the fact that they were all
doing it together i was just like wow
you know this just for some reason it
got me hooked
and i was like you know what i just want
to be able to not necessarily do
or look like them but i wanted to have
that feeling of letting loose
i just had never done it i hadn’t i
never thought that i could be so
free with lots of people no computer
screen in sight
no deadlines just me and letting loose
they
literally had me hooked i came back week
after week
and one fine day this is after a few
years of doing it my graphic design is
still happening by the side
i saw this lady this trainer she came
she was new she was covering the class
and honestly her energy and her command
when she walked into that class there
were 50 of us it was something that i
was like you know what
i want to be her and i just want to be
like oh i want to have that confidence
and i want to be able to feel like how
she feels and i want to be able to do
that to everybody else with such
easy command as just her coming up there
and the aura that she was able to give
the truth is though i realized that life
is probably and actually is too short to
have
just one passion or one area
of work or whatever it is that really
sets you
your heart on fire and i felt that i
wanted to be her
and the problem is that i needed to
prove to myself and everybody around me
which meant i needed to
re-qualify myself i needed to study
a little bit more in order to become
what i wanted to become
i wanted to create that energy and when
i look back now it had nothing to do
with how she looked nothing nothing to
do with her body shape or size
it was just to do with that confidence
and i really had this longing feeling
that i wanted
exactly that
and so i got myself certified as a
trainer i was 29 years old
when i did that and i was like you know
i’m gonna take it to the next step
before i’m 30 i want to open
my own space i just want to have a space
where i can do the same thing
that she did i want people to feel the
same way i don’t want people to feel
like they need to be a particular way or
be a particular shape or a size or
anything like that i just wanted them
all to join together and have a really
great time
and therefore studio 16 which is my
studio in delhi was born and i found a
partner who could help me do that
and we put this studio together and
it was incredible because not only did
it teach me that the challenges in life
never stop even if you’re doing what you
love or even if you found something new
you are never going to be challenge free
you are always going to have things that
are going to challenge you
and for us it was running a business
right for the both of us like we needed
to pay rent right
we needed to pay these trainers that we
had and we needed to make sure that we
gave a service
that was worthy of what we were trying
to sell
on top of that my fears of becoming a
trainer and speaking out loud and
learning to you know learn on the job
let’s say because i only became a
trainer two months before i decided to
open this space
and i had no intention of taking all of
those classes
i just wanted to be a trainer and know
the business because i had been on the
receiving end like the client side
and i said i wanted to be and create
that space so i had these two
types of pressure that were on my head
running this business
making it work and practicing and being
who i thought i could be
and thinking how i could create that
energy the same way that lady had done
for me
when i walked out of that class and
that’s what i wanted to do
today though i have to tell you that the
studio
this mission statement that i wrote back
when we started
we’ve been open for five and a half
years now we have about 300 strong
members
it’s a community it’s a space it’s a
vibe it’s energy
that absolutely creates this feeling
of of joy and letting loose and
i really feel proud and grateful because
out of those 300 members at least
200 of them have been with me since the
day i opened
right which is something that means a
lot because when i think about it now i
can’t i
honestly can’t believe that i was able
to create that space because
and i was able to command it with
confidence and i believed
in what i wanted to create
here’s a little glimpse into all these
happy faces just one of many classes
that we do at the studio
everyone having a good time including my
staff by the way who i threaten once in
a while to do a few push-ups
they can’t just stand at the front desk
and smile they need to be able to
perform a little bit
this leads on to a really interesting
topic pet dogs
this is important because i learned
that those voices in our head are
something that we need to give
um they need to be able to come out loud
sometimes
right and we need to sometimes keep
giving them to ourselves constantly
no matter what area we’re doing or
whether we’re happy with what we’re
doing
and whatever passion we might be
following whatever it might be those pep
talks are
so important and this chapter
is crazy because sometimes when i look
at this picture
or i look at any pictures of myself for
that matter firstly i can’t believe
i’m wearing not too many clothes okay
because i didn’t show my arms till i was
18 years old in school because like i
said i was macho man
right i was not proud of those big arms
which i am now you want to ask me to
show you i’ll show you them in one
second
things have changed so when i look at
these photographs or videos of me i
can’t believe that that’s me
and i really look at them and i don’t
see necessarily my body all the time
but that’s not what i’m looking at but
i’m looking at this person that i’ve
become
and sometimes i can’t believe that um
i was able to do it and sometimes i
don’t believe it’s me especially
moving videos wow when i started five
years ago there was no such thing or
instagram was not as mean as it is
mainstream as it is right now things
were a lot more about
a photograph here and there so when i
see myself actually moving and jumping
around
i am so mesmerized by what my body can
do
i used to hate on that body so much when
i was younger and i used to be reasons
for why i didn’t do things
or cover myself up i can jump i can lift
really heavy things
i can skip i could never do things like
that and
you know as my studio grew with me my
body grew with me and i was like hell
yeah i want to get big muscles i want to
grow i want to be able to do better at
what i’m able to put forward
all of that and the way my body was
starting to look as a byproduct of how i
was feeling
because i was feeling great and i was
feeling challenged and out of my comfort
zone
and that’s exactly what i look like here
and this is what i look like nearly
every day
through every class that i do i’m proud
to look like this honestly i have a
little sister
every time i put up this a picture that
looks like this which is every second
day because i look like i’ve been
through
hell she’ll message me and be like zoe
you can’t put up stuff like that dude
you’re looking
terrible i’m just like it’s the truth
it’s hard work
sweat is hard work i have some people
come up to me today and they’ll be like
please can you tell us a workout that
doesn’t let us sweat
and i’m just like huh they’re like you
know we don’t want to wash our hair i
was like huh
like what the truth is i live for this
this feeling
i can’t even describe it to you it’s
exactly how i felt when i walk into that
class
i was so energized i was so
i was so confident i felt so worthy and
that i was able to
you know push myself and achieve
something that i could never imagine
doing and it was the same person
and this used to shock me and it still
does every day like i did one of these
yesterday i’m gonna do one of these
tomorrow i’m gonna look like that
every day and i’m proud of it and i love
it
i can’t believe now these pep talks by
the way are still carrying on in my head
that i’m able to have such events like
this where i’m able to gather people in
big spaces
and really excitedly torture them
i love torturing them i want them to
feel exactly the same way because i can
guarantee that they will feel
exactly the same way because i felt it
and i was able to live it
events like this are just mind-blowing i
can’t believe that i’m able to reach out
to any amounts of people
um i have a huge focus on working with
women and fitness because i feel
women um probably don’t take as much
advantage of getting fit
as they should rather worrying about how
they look and their shape and their size
and i’m so grateful
to tell you that i never chased a
certain body shape or size
i never did how i looked was a
by-product i chased this idea of
confidence and you know what your body
speaks for itself
you can outdo yourself and perform and
do things that
with your body i mean our bodies were
designed to move
it’s absolutely bizarre to me when i
think about the fact that
there are people still who don’t right
it’s important and it
not only beneficial which you hear all
the time but it makes you feel on top of
the world and i’m amazingly grateful
that i can do this
um and have this platform to reach out
as many people
to hopefully feel how are you
the last chapter which i’m going to wrap
things up with
is i want you like i said i’m not going
to teach you anything
but i want you to take away a few things
that i think i
learned from what becoming fit
taught me okay and i think you can apply
this to everything in your life
and i tried to creatively you know the
little graphic designer in me
kind of make them with a few items
that i carry right here in my gym bag
this gym bag comes with me everywhere
okay now i’ve got a couple of items in
here that i’d like to share with you
oh but
not everything that defines me is inside
this bag
okay i could not pick my dogs or my
husband or my parents
can’t fit them all in here i wish i
could my dogs
loved it by the way over here but yes
what i do have in here are a couple of
things that remind me of why i do
what i do and reminds me
how far i’ve come and it also reminds me
through the day how important healthy
habits are
and they can be very small and they make
the biggest difference
okay now i’ve got in here
a very old style clock
right now obviously we have these on our
phone
but i just wanted to put it over here
because i want to tell you
this has taught me the value of time
okay exercise has taught me the value of
time
we all have the same 24 hours you can
make any excuses that you want without
whatever you want to do
you don’t need one hour three hours you
don’t need
even necessarily 30 minutes you can even
do something in shortest five to ten
minutes
of any kind of movement or anything that
reminds you that you’re doing something
better for your body and for your mind
right so this taught me that i should
not
waste or focus energy on things i can’t
control
the essence of time is so important
that’s all we’ve got so you want to make
the use of it
focus on where you can drive your energy
to things that you can use
and actually make use of yeah
okay so that’s my first lesson i’m going
to test you all at the end
just remember okay next one
this water bottle you can see it’s half
full right
well not only is this so important
because
drinking water is one of the keys of
staying healthy and we forget it
but i look at that and i think is this
half
empty or is it half full
right and that’s the way of looking at
life
replace your negative thoughts with
positive ones
right look at life in that way because
you you only again coming back to the
first one you only have
24 hours think positively believe you
can do something
and weigh it out and go for it i have
a box of nuts okay so it can be a bag it
can be a box whatever it is you want
this reminds me a little bit of my
nutrition
through the day so that i can snack
healthy those of you who are asking me
earlier
get yourself a bag of nuts very useful
but
this teaches me that i should be
prepared
right again if i eat a little bit
through the day i’m not going to end up
eating
everything i should have eaten for the
past 10 days in one sitting at night in
front of netflix right
so that’s a good reminder to be prepared
and make a plan
plan ahead have goals they really really
count
okay the next one
my jacket okay
so this jacket for me is just
a personal object it’s a reminder of how
far i’ve come
there was one time i would never ever
show you guys
my arms i just wouldn’t but this jacket
is a reminder that i need to feel
uncomfortable
through life continue to feel
uncomfortable get out of my comfort zone
and push myself
so this little personal object is a
reminder for me
the next one is my skipping rope
this thing comes with me everywhere
it’s a great reminder that i can get in
a quick workout anywhere
but all things apart from the obvious
what this taught me was to be mindful
when i started skipping which was about
four and a half years ago
it’s my preferred form of cardio but i
couldn’t skip
more than four to five skips in a row
right so that’s you know you’ve ever
seen skipping is like one
jump two jump right i can do 5000 now
without stopping
okay and when i think about it now
it’s been four and a half years i’ve
probably done 1.4 million
jump rope okay if i was to add it all
because i did it every day
as my warm-up and when i think about it
now
what it taught me was focus it taught me
to be persistent
and it taught me mindfulness
that alone time that i had with myself i
tell you was all positive alone time
those thoughts in my head were all
positive so this skipping rope has lots
of value for me
the last one a diary and a pen
all right this is simply
a reminder that in this world we need to
take our time
to rest don’t underplay rest
it’s important to take time to recover
and to reflect
on everything that you do and why you’re
doing it
and what you do it for and writing notes
is a great way to recall
what you did where you’re going and what
you want to do with it
so my six points i’m gonna test you
again in a second
which i learned from being fit
were all to do with the thoughts in my
head
they were all to do with building
strength and confidence that all really
started
on the inside and
what i really want to leave you guys
with today apart from these six
things because i really hope that
they’re gonna add value to your life
is a quick reminder which i’m so
i’m majorly reminded right now because
honestly apart from sitting on this
this has made me have to practice my
balance if you’ve noticed because i
honestly tell you
it’s kept me focused it’s kept me in the
game with what i’m doing
and that’s what life is you need to stay
focused
and believe in what you can do listen
to those thoughts that you have in your
head because they
really really do need some way to come
out
and be spoken right they have power
and honestly this has taught me that
strength
is nothing to do with our bodies as much
it is to do with our minds
and if it wasn’t for the stability and
the balance of how i was able to
sit on this the whole time that i’ve
been talking to you
it’s also that reminder that everything
starts on the inside
strength especially starts on the inside
and i just want to say a quick thing
before i leave
is that all of you guys who are sitting
here and who are studying or
you’re studying obviously basically and
most of you are working and i’m sure
most of you in this room have desk jobs
my little to leave you with is please
replace
your chairs with one of these you will
thank me
because it will fix your back it will
fix your posture because in order to do
this your core is activated
and this is my only tiny little tip of
fitness that i’m going to teach you
today
the rest i promise you including this is
all an inside job
thank you guys
[Applause]
you