Impact students by investing in relationships Quentin Lee
A lot of educators make connections
with their students socially,
but that’s just not enough.
As educators, we’ve got to get to know
our students' curiosity,
we need to figure out what
their interests are,
we even need to figure out how their
minds work when it comes to learning,
if we’re going to be an effective
educator.
But it’s all about relationships.
Now, I know that’s a buzzword
in education today
because we’ve got to make sure we have
connected relationships with our students,
relationships with our parents,
and you better make sure you have
a relationship with your community.
But I am reminded that there are
two types of relationships:
you have shallow relationships,
which only touch the surface
and then you have those deeper
relationships
I’m reminded of a time back in high
school.
A couple of my friends and I,
we attended a local convention,
and at this convention I entered every
single opportunity I could,
every competition I was in there,
and I won something every single day.
Now, as a high school student, I was
excited because I was being rewarded
for being who I was.
For the first time that I could
remember,
people valued me not because of
something that I was doing to be noticed,
but just simply because of who I was.
So upon going back to the room that
night, my roommate,
which we’ve been friends for 13 years,
he says,
“Why are you winning everything?”
And at that moment, I was crushed.
We’re supposed to be friends.
We’ve been in a relationship for 13
years, and this is how you feel?
But I’m also reminded about high school
about a teacher I had
by the name of Mr. George Cobb.
Now, Mr. Cobb…that was someone
special.
You see, Mr. Cobb did something that
a lot of teachers didn’t do at that time.
He spent time with me.
We had a lot of things in common:
we both grew up in single parent homes,
we went to the same local church.
I wasn’t that good in any kind of
sports, but I was good in band,
and Mr. Cobb was my band director.
Now Mr. Cobb made sure that
I knew my instrument.
He made sure that we covered
all those standards,
but he also made sure that I was going
to be very successful in life.
I can recall a conversation I had with
him where he told me,
“Jerome, if you listen to me,
I will make sure that you make it.”
Because of my relationship with him,
I did everything I could
to make him proud.
Even to the day that I got accepted
into Alabama A&M University,
the first person I celebrated was not
my mom, it was not my grandmother,
it was Mr. Cobb – because Mr. Cobb
drove me to my audition,
Mr. Cobb helped me fill out my FAFSA
form.
Mr. Cobb was more than just a teacher.
Because he was Black?
That didn’t make him successful.
It’s because he saw the importance
of making a deeper relationship with me.
So the deeper the relationship, the deeper
the impact that you have on students.
Because Mr. Cobb’s impact wasn’t just to
mold me into a college person.
He trained me how to be a highly
effective high school principal
that establishes connections with
all of his students.
I’m even reminded of a story of a young
guy by the name of Jerrell,
one of my former students.
And on paper, Jerrell was bad news.
Just gonna be honest,
he was kicked out of school,
he was expelled, he even quit
school at one point in time.
It’s rumored that he was in a gang,
he was homeless at one point,
anything bad associated with him,
that was Jerrell.
Society would probably even label
him a “thug.”
Upon coming on the job, I’d heard
all the bad news about Jerrell.
“Oh don’t give Jerell –
you got to be worried about him,”
but I chose to do something different.
I wanted to see Jerrell
for who he really was
So I recall one day in my office,
Jerrell came up and he said,
“Mr. Lee, can I talk to you?” “Sure Jerrell,
come on in, what’s going on?”
And he said, “How do you do it?”
“Jerrell, what are you talking about?
How do I do what?”
He said, “How do you do it?”
See what you don’t know about Jerrell,
is that the reason he was homeless
is because after his mom died
in New York,
instead of coming back to the South,
he stayed up there for three months.
So Jerrell spoke to me and he said,
“Well my mom’s dead, your mom’s dead.
My dad just died.
I don’t have anybody.”
This conversation took place about
five weeks after my mom’s death
and about two weeks after his
father’s death.
And in that moment, I didn’t see Jerrell
as a troubled teen,
I saw Jerrell as little Jerome.
I saw Jerrell as a young boy
sitting there longing for the love
of his parents,
while society continued
to knock him down.
So that day, we had about a 45 minute
conversation,
and I got to know Jerrell.
Jerrell’s life turned around so much
in just one year.
The first year there, he had about 21
suspensions out of school.
That next year,
he brought it down to six.
Jerrell even participated in our Black
history program at the school.
It was the first time ever that he was able
to be in something positive in school.
And the look on his grandmother’s face
in the audience was priceless.
So in the state of Alabama right now,
there’s an epidemic.
We’re working on our graduation rate
because 87 percent of our students are
graduating and 13 are not,
but Jerrell? Jerrell’s a part of the
majority on this one.
Jerrell is a high school graduate
not because of anything that I did.
It’s because Jerrell believed in himself.
So as educators, I challenge you to believe
in the students that we have.
Mr. Cobb’s impact on me wasn’t
just for Jerome.
His impact was for Jerrell, and the
impact that I pray
that each and every one that
you have on your students,
are for the other Jerrells out there.