Redefining change turning progress into power
good afternoon
i appreciate you being here today and
everybody online
my story is a very simple story i love
flying
and in fact my love of flying started as
a little girl
in a small township called wadville east
of johannesburg
now you wonder township flying of course
every saturday in my township with a
small park
and because we are not very far from a
hunger
infantic small aircraft which you just
passed by
and of course if you know the story of
the township you will know we were told
the beds and the beast story in the
airplane way so
this is how the story goes that lucky
families
every saturday will get a package in the
form of a baby
that gets dropped off by this flying
machine and of course
knowing that story you can imagine we
start singing
the flying machine song i know you don’t
know it but that song is powerful
because we have
little girls my age singing the flying
machine song
now why does that matter it meant i
loved looking up
i loved the gift that came
with the flying machine and of course i
had a very adventurous grandfather
my grandfather did anything and
everything so one sunday he says
you love flying let me sneak you in the
van deykhanga
we go there he tells me this is the
tamak this is what the flight looks like
it goes up but why was he showing me
this he says i think you’ve got
something inside of you
i want you to do exactly what is
happening here
prepare before a flight takes decide
on a destination and then fly because
the sky is the limit
well i loved that story so i went to
school
i prepared remember the sky is the limit
that’s what i was chasing
and i was very happy with that i prepare
myself
i make myself ready to fly there i am
in the sky business class going
somewhere
cause let me land because the story
happens on land
i get doors open for me so now i’ve i’m
in flight
i’m ready i opened this door because
somebody
had welcomed me in seemingly but guess
what i
arrive and the room is full i look
around i find
no chair but guess what i’m very
innovative so i look at two little
scrony colleagues
who i knew that if i just wiggle left
and right
i could make my way so i do that
and the gentlemen are very uncomfortable
and of course somebody says it can’t be
like this she’s just arrived
let’s do something better let’s get her
chair i’m
so happy now i’ve got a chair this is
the chair i’m supposed to sit in
as i try to sit in oh my god it’s a
three-legged chair
i raised my hand hello it’s a
three-legged chair i’m here
and they’re like that’s the only chair
available so unlike my other colleagues
who are male by the way they’re sitting
comfortably
i am sitting preoccupied thinking dear
lord let me not fall
you know let me focus on the chair so
i’m sitting squished and all of that and
then i say okay
i can deal with a chair you know when
you come from the township you can do
anything
because i’ll tell you that story my
grandmother used to put a paint
uh empty paint and stuff and her legs of
her bed were high so i’m thinking not a
problem
empty paint put soil my chair is now
solid
you would think i was comfortable right
but i wasn’t
there was no placement so i’m like i’m
on the table now
i’m in the room i got a chair sorted but
i don’t have a placement
and of course being should be and you
don’t know about the hubies you know we
were never annexed by shaka
so we’re warriors so i set off and i’m
like i’m gonna fight
this one i’m already in and i’m not
getting out
in floovey style i pick up my spears i’m
in the battle
and of course most of you know that
battle i fight my way
up because remember my grandmother my
grandfather told me
there’s only one way up i realized that
going
one way up had its challenges but the
biggest challenge about it is
you would not be included irrespective
of how much you tried and in fact
the more i tried to get included the
more excluded i became
then i began to realize i was fighting
this the wrong way
it wasn’t about getting women in the
room
getting in is easy it was about me
taking
charge and realizing that i would need
to include
myself on my own terms intellectually
and with impact and of course
all wars end in peace i declared a
treaty
and now i was stuck because all of a
sudden the battles that i’d fought i had
too many scratches
i had too many challenges and i was
tired and i’m sure so many women like me
get tired
in this upward uh direction because we
all want to go up we all want to succeed
up
but it’s a tiring battle then of course
i went back to my grandfather’s story it
couldn’t make sense why would he say the
sky is the limit
when i arrived there and don’t get
fooled i did
get up so the sky was becoming the limit
but the burden of getting to that limit
was just too much then i asked myself
maybe there’s more than just one way we
are brought up
to succeed upwards perhaps there is a
possibility
that you can succeed sideways and
succeed downwards
and then of course i’m at the crossroads
and then i remembered
my father was a taxi owner he owned
taxis so
i used to be in the middle seat helping
him come change
and i remember people who go short left
short left mean the guy wasn’t really
going there it means you could command
a taxi to stop in the shortest direction
possible
so i declared my shot left when i began
to declare my shot left i decided
that i would exist in any space
and every space but i would refuse
to play by everyone’s rules i’ll refuse
to take the direction that everyone is
taking
upwards is full the airports are full
the the tarmac is full i would decide
to go find my own way and of course this
is how i decide to find my own way i’ve
got to face my own fears
so my biggest fear is the fear of flying
and quests what do i do
i tell my children mommy is going to
face her fear
of heights so i go to
the soweto towers i get there they tell
me
something is broken you can jump
okay i google they say ziplining there i
go
i’m gonna zip line and i’m very excited
about ziplining
so i go there i get there they say we’re
just about to close you wanna come next
week
and i told myself that weekend i needed
to jump because i’d taken a shot
left and i needed to figure out what
next and of course
for some stupid reason and i’ll call it
that for today
i decide why not jump out of a plane
because i’ve always loved flying and of
course they tell me
we’re ready for you if you are here six
hours later we’re good to go
with my family in tow in the car as i go
here
my first daughter says before we go do
you have insurance
do you have your will ready because we
don’t see you coming back and that is
significant because that’s what people
will tell you
and of course my mother says you know
there’s different ways to kill yourself
there’s a poison called
alipirim just drink that and get it over
and done with it’s easy
don’t put us through that trauma then my
second daughter says
you might fly you might you might come
out
but you might break your legs
okay that’s good enough and of course my
youngest one is a cheerleader she says
just don’t do it mommy i’m still young
you know we still need you and of course
as i register
they tell me please indemnify us from
your death
you might fall and die
why am i telling you this i then get up
and then i i’m in this airplane there
are no seats
but i’ve got a guy behind me because i
was doing tandem
this guy was my support and of course
once you’re up there you can’t come back
and of course we go up as we go up the
window the door opens and you can
imagine
opening a door for an empty aircraft the
wind is mind-blowing at that time i’m
thinking
i have to go back but there’s no way of
turning back because once you’ve defined
a way
you cannot turn back and of course i am
convinced people at flight school don’t
know how to count
i hear 1 5
8 10 amount and you can imagine
flowing without knowing which way i’m
going
but as we do that the parachute opens
it goes sideways because that’s
literally how it starts to flow
and then i remembered that’s exactly
what i wanted to know
that you could succeed sideways
and of course as we go through the
clouds he starts saying
remember we are going to land there is
success
in going down and of course i get
confirmation
that you can succeed sideways and
sometimes succeed downwards
but what did i learn through that
genuine let me close out
the first one in the first january as
really chagazulu’s sister
i learned that you can never conquer
environment you don’t accept
some things are just what they are and
therefore if
inclusion is not in the agenda
understand that and find a brand new way
because a whole lot of us myself
included we’ve bashed a lot of our heads
trying to be included
in environments we shouldn’t have been
fighting for inclusion
in but we should have been fighting for
recreating
and finding our new voice our new space
in fact the way i saw my journey
is i actually left the big table i went
and got in myself the small kindergarten
table and a small chair
and i made myself comfortable because
for the last seven years i decided no
one was going to define
my journey i was gonna find a way so
what does succeeding sideways mean for
me succeeding sideways means
actually abandoning the the old way of
doing things
it means defining that success is not
about a tick box
it was about those things that are
breath
those things that impact more than just
you
and of course when you try to do that in
a normal environment
becoming an anomaly you would must know
two things
you will become a target and i remember
walking feeling like you know people are
throwing dots
some are lending some are not lending
but you got to live with that
knowing that if you want to create a
legacy
you’re going to have to forfeit your
personal brand
you are going to have to take it for the
dream and for those who are biblical you
are going to have to be the sacrificial
lamb because
big changes are made by small things
done in an extraordinary way then i ask
myself succeeding downwards what does
that mean
succeeding downwards means sometimes
accepting defeat
in the war you never decided to fight
for it means saying
it is enough i’m going back to my center
because everything starts on the ground
it meant building a solid base it meant
not only succeeding the way everybody
was talking about it it meant
i could sell shoes and be damn good at
it
it meant i could be a painter and be
damn good at it not all
roads were corporate not all roads are
meant
to go through that one big direction
when you go downwards you begin to
harness
that which is sitting inside of you and
the day i began to liberate myself like
that
changed everything i can words in a
corporate and have everybody scratching
their way up
in my world i’m doing it sideways and
downwards
and therefore i’m not fighting for
anything that they have
i’m trying to create something that they
want because there’s more than just one
way to succeed
and i think women especially we are
trained to go
into spaces which are crowded maybe like
me
you have the curves you know in my youth
we used to say this is
a mahuba skloof and the chinese cave you
come from limpopo which meant
you could do this and that but none of
all of us have got that so i’m appealing
to women who are like me
who are supposed to fly this mud light
aircraft
to say you don’t have to be in a bowie
when the bullying is full
go find that small airfield
and start building your own tarmac and
start
buying your own fleet and start flying
your own flight plan and of course
as i began to do that i started feeling
alone
and i started saying people are not
supportive
but my people told me we love you
we’re actually extremely supportive but
we don’t support
possibility so we are with you but
not in that crazy way of possibility so
when you get into this new path
you gotta know you’re gonna have to walk
alone
you’re going to have to love your own
shadow you’re going to have to love the
sound of your own voice and that is okay
too because guess what the multiplicity
of voices
it what makes the world go round they
used to tell me it’s money but it is not
and as i said anybody can make money but
nobody can make
money in the way that they would want
their great-grandchildren to remember
so i stopped scratching i stopped
fighting
and i started to plant a new route now
you can ask me where am i
now i don’t know but i’m walking
and i’m walking in a different direction
and i’m loving it
now would i ever get recognition that
goes up
hell if it happens that’s great but
guess what
in the land of sideways and the land of
downwards
we don’t need recognition we don’t need
inclusion
we are already on the ground and
therefore
as i talk for myself and many other
women who have got small
dreams but that are supposedly
manifesting in a big way with people who
matter to them
that changes the whole narrative that
means women stop
fighting for against sorry
they start fighting for something
and because we’ve been fighting to be
included so we’re fighting against the
system
we’ve been fighting to be part of the
statistics
and i remembered when my grandmother
said my grandfather said you
there’s something in you and what he was
telling me is you know the statistics
and my invitation is for women today
to remember you’re not a statistic
you’re not supposed to be counted all
the way up
if there’s no way up go find your own
path
but redefine how you want to succeed
and of course in the last couple of
weeks as i was really reflecting on this
journey
kamala harris said something important
that i’m the first but i’m definitely
not the last
and then i looked back because you know
the roads of sideways and downwards are
empty
there is no ground i’m now looking back
i’m take building one brick at a time
a new tarmac so that hopefully
women who decide to follow my path
women who are going to improve my path
can at least found a gravel road
that i’ve made possible for them so that
we can build a legacy
that is different so as i conclude
i shot lifted and i’m happy as i
conclude
i’m piloting my own flight and that’s
the most beautiful space
you can ever be in because every woman
is unique
every journey is unique reward and
recognition
is not everything personal growth
and contentment is the thing thank you
you