Defining Success
[Applause]
many people
have often spoken about the secret to
success
or ways to become successful
some even believe that there are
shortcuts to it
as if success is a remote place that
only a few have traveled to while us
the others are considered unsuccessful
people
you see to me defining success
is a complex matter and my definition of
it
has grown or better yet changed or
evolved many times over the course of my
life
i grew up in the city of newburgh in a
single parent household
my mother there did all she could to
raise myself
and my two sisters the right way when i
was little
my vision of success was making it
through a church service
with hopes of being treated to some
mcdonald’s french fries afterwards
i love mcdonald’s fries i actually had
some today
my father was never around in fact i
never met him
he left our family when i was just eight
months old
growing up my vision of success was
having a complete family
my sisters they excelled in academics
and the arts
both of them learned how to play the
violin i excelled in
cutting class missing school and just
getting by in fact this was an art form
that i mastered at an early age
my senior year of high school i had to
take three different math classes to
graduate
one in the morning one in the afternoon
and another during night school as that
year
came closer and closer to an end i heard
my friends talking about going to
college
suny morrisville or stony brook and
i couldn’t graduate in june because i
was still missing credits
but i did graduate after a short stint
of senior year summer school by all
regards
my future was uncertain most likely i
was going to end up working at a
dead-end job
in trouble or just a life without
purpose
to be blunt all signs pointed to me
being unsuccessful
after graduating high school i worked at
every store
at the woodbury commons
but this isn’t what you’re thinking
though every store paid a little bit
more than the next
and i moved on because at that time my
vision of success
was buying a fly outfit and some nice
sneakers
or maybe taking my girlfriend out on a
nice steak dinner
look at her isn’t she lovely
but one day my life changed after
getting off the bus and walking home
from school
i saw a big sign that said twenty
thousand dollars to join the new york
state army national guard
and in that instant my vision of success
changed again it was getting twenty
thousand dollars
buying a car and coming back to my
hometown
showing off to all my friends i made it
i’m successful
i joined the national guard on october
9th 2007 and was shipped off to fort
sill oklahoma
to learn how to be a soldier and a
cannon crew member
the first night of in processing they
give you one
phone call to a loved one to let them
know that you made it and you’re safe
who did i call my girlfriend
when she picked up the phone i heard it
in her voice i knew something was wrong
i was like babe what’s going on where
you at she goes i’m at the hospital
i said the hospital what’s up her
stomach was hurting and she was in pain
she was pregnant my world stopped
there goes my nice car my twenty
thousand dollars
everything but in that instant my vision
of success changed again
it was being a good father the father
that i never had
taking care of and providing for my
family
making it through basic training had a
new purpose to me i had a new reason why
i did it made it through basic training
and came home that april
but now was the hard part i was back in
my hometown
18 years old a part-time soldier no
career
no true path forward and the baby on the
way
my leadership they told me that my
twenty thousand dollar signing bonus
will be given to me in two halves ten
thousand now
and ten thousand in three years the ten
thousand now
turned into six thousand dollars after
taxes
i was devastated i had no idea how to
prepare for this baby
our son julius was born that june my
girlfriend and i had to live with her
parents for about a year
before i had to make some tough
decisions the national guard was not
working for me
i was at a dead-end job i wasn’t being
the best version of myself
and i felt i had no purpose so in that
low
i was thinking my way out was to join
the active duty military
that way i can have a sense of purpose i
can take care of and provide for my
family
in 2009 i changed my job to logistics i
was stationed at
fort drum new york home of the 10th
mountain division
there i learned how to be a real soldier
and in the spring of 2012 my unit was
deployed
was scheduled to deploy to afghanistan
surprise my wife was pregnant
again i skipped too many health classes
i
i must admit i’m sorry
our daughter miana was born in february
and i deployed a month later in march
and during that time my vision of
success was making it back home safe to
my family
saving money because i heard you could
make a lot while you were deployed
and getting promoted our deployment
was tough both in country and for the
family state side
but i made it i came back home safe and
sound
just as broke as when i left and i
didn’t get promoted
but after working and striving for
promotion i finally got it
i was a sergeant in the united states
army i reached a notable level of
success
i found purpose again my family and
myself were reassigned
to joint base lewis mccord there
my units worked long and hard hours
training days and nights in the field
or on special assignments it was there
where i learned vital life lessons in
leadership responsibility personal
accountability
and professionalism but after leaving
the army my vision of success changed
yet again it was being a college
graduate
and having a noble career that helped
people
being a non-traditional college student
that’s another ted talk in itself
but i didn’t i attended and graduated
from fordham university
with a bachelor’s and master’s degree
today my vision of success
is being a good father to our four
children
being a wonderful husband being the
perfect
softball coach for my daughter’s team
all while being a role model to my
students here
at goshen high school i now know
that success is not a remote place
success is complex
and ever-changing but at its core is to
have purpose
you see i took a non-traditional journey
to attain traditional success
i’m now part of the academic machine
that pushes college
career and civic duties however i’m
pushing back against the ideal
as the only pathway to success there are
successful people all around us
in fact here are a few of my friends
orlando underwood as an army veteran and
successful
realtor in kansas city ashley eatings
is a dedicated mother and wife who has
successfully homeschooled her two
children
for the past two years justin acosta
is a successful restaurant owner of
borico in new ends in new york
he makes some of the best puerto rican
food off the island
rosemonia is a sergeant first class in
the united states army
with over 15 years of honorable service
to our country
in fact if you look to your left and
you’re right in the audience
you may very well be sitting next to a
successful person
or you yourself may be a success story
you see it’s never too late to
accomplish it’s never too late to have
purpose to triumph in life there is no
exact date
there is no use by label finally
success has different meanings to
different people
there is no one size fits all so now i
ask you
how will you define your success
thank you