Perfection Will Not Make You Successful
[Applause]
[Applause]
so
when you think about this perfect
student what’s the first thing that
comes to your mind
probably someone that’s service oriented
and that is always
up to help everybody else at school
someone that has lots and lots of
curriculars and seems to balance his or
her time
someone that’s productive 24 7 and is
always always busy with something
or someone that studies more than 9
hours a day
this sounds crazy but it’s true
and above all obviously someone that has
a 4.0 gpa
because who would we be without grades
right
well hi here i am the embodiment of the
perfect student
and let me tell you that even though
one might think that being the perfect
student
will make you visible to others and will
give you a lot of opportunities
it in fact in my case at least made me
invisible
you may wonder why well trying to embody
perfection
means neglecting all of the other parts
of yourself that are imperfect
and this is pretty harsh in the sense
that
you can only explore the parts that
actually contribute to your to the
embodiment of this perfect identity
and all of the other passions you have
are left neglected
because at least in my case i didn’t
have the courage to explore
my artistic side to explore my side that
was very interested in poetry
because that didn’t quite fit with the
definition of a smart kid that i had
which was
being good at the sciences and math so
i made myself invisible to myself
and through this process i learned that
maybe perfection is not something that
we should romanticize as much
maybe perfection is not achievable at
all
and in fact it is not but
it also led me to redefine my definition
of success
because we also the idea that success is
this
um productivity concept this concept of
being at the top of everything of
producing all of the time of
being in the top universities being in
the top employer
gaining awards being recognized and
maybe for some people
success is that but at least for me i
realized it was not
because this wasn’t making me happy and
i think happiness
goes above any weird definition of
success that society tries to sell us
so in this talk i’m going to give you
the three steps i took to combat
perfection
to accept myself as an imperfect being
and to make the most out of it
so the first step is to recognize that
there are things out of your control as
a perfectionist
it’s really hard to recognize that
because we always want to have
everything under control
however it is true even if you give your
100 or 200 percent effort in something
you’re not guaranteed that you’re going
to get to that goal
and meritocracy tells us this idea the
idea that
if we give our maximum afford then we’re
going to reach the success
when then we’re going to get into an ivy
league then we’re going to get that
promotion we were seeking for
for the past three years but that’s not
true
there are so many other factors that
affect
how you reach that definition of success
and these factors are way beyond our
control factors such as
whoever whoever wrote read your
application for college or
the amount of scholarships that were
available for latinx students
or simply what the company or the school
or
whoever was looking for like their
requirements
and and that’s okay it’s hard but it’s
okay
and this point was inspired by um an
interview that i read
that was conducted to daniel markowitz
he’s an author of
a book called the meritocracy trap and
he basically uh tells us about
how meritocracy is flawed how this idea
that if you give your maximum four
you’re going to
go into that ivy league you’re going to
get the best education you’re going to
uh get hired in like the best company
ever
um but that’s not true because
we live in an unequal society in a
society
where factors really influence
how successful you can be in the
definite in the
common definition of success right
because also if you think about
it not everybody is going to get that
job offer not everybody is going to get
that
interview or that um that admission
because the space is limited
unfortunately and as i said there are so
many factors influencing
this decision so what i realized in my
process of
getting rejected from my dream school
was that i had to redefine what success
was
because my definition of success was
directly linked
to getting into that specific school
which i didn’t
and when i didn’t i felt that as if all
my effort was worthless as
if all i have worked for wasn’t worth
anything
so i tried to redefine what success was
for me at least in this stage of my life
and it was getting into a good
engineering a university
and let me tell you i did and i couldn’t
be
more happy so the first step is to
recognize that there are things
out of your control and that’s fine and
you should give
that things that those things are out of
your control to see
that definition of success can be
broader
and making the definition of success
rather for yourself
enables you to explore more
opportunities and you might end up
in a in a job offer or
in a university that’s way better for
you and where you can be truly happy
so be more open about your definition of
success
the second step is to stay away from
toxic productivity
and what do i mean from toxic product to
productivity
well we tend to think that if we are
busy all of the time
if we are working all the time then
we’re going to reach our goals like
that in a flash but
it’s kind of not true because if you’re
busy all the time
are you truly enjoying what you’re doing
um let me tell you an example
i love love love love participating in
service activities
i’m very passionate about social justice
so i have been involved in various
feminist organizations where
i live and for me this was a passion
this was an interest i explored outside
from
my academics right but
when i got involved in a feminist
collective i strike
i started to try to measure my
productivity
to place my productivity in that
collective
as a benchmark to on how successful i
would be in the future
which didn’t make any sense because it
wasn’t directly tied with
my academics but whatever that was my
mindset so i would literally
literally measure the hours i
spent talking to my friends at the
feminist collective
of the hours i would spend just making
promotion
for the various workshops we offered
and in this process i started to
view this passion for social justice as
a burden
so i wasn’t really enjoying the work i
was doing
therefore i invite you to step away from
your future expectations for a moment
even if it’s just
for two minutes um
try to fill your environment with all
your senses and be present
because you when you’re present you’re
not thinking about the future and about
how
your productivity rates connect to
to how successful you will be or to your
career or whatever
no simply be present simply enjoy what
you’re doing
in this moment even if you are just
sitting down
even if you’re just hearing my talk
and then find an activity that
it’s too boring or too
or too simple that you don’t want to
measure it so for example
maybe um listening to a random podcast
about like
conspiracy theories or a podcast about
um
about penguins i don’t know but just
take a minute
they just take some time to explore that
without
trying to relate that to your career or
to your future goals
and finally just
i invite you to do a service activity
because when you do a service activity
if you are truly involved and committed
to it without trying to measure it
then it’s easier for you to disconnect
from those goals and expectations that
sometimes can be very selfish
and just be with others interact with
others
and see explore different emotions that
come from service because when you do
that
it’s more likely that you’re not going
to start thinking about
like how you have to get that job
promotion or that your
acceptance letter curious present
and the third and final step to combat
toxic productivity and the
normalized definition of success and
perfection
is that you have to start recognizing
yourself as
a multi-dimensional self yeah
what is that you may ask well trying to
strive for perfection makes just
unidimensional because it makes you just
focus on the aspect of ourselves that’s
directly tied to the definition of
perfection we want to embody
so for me as i said earlier
the definition of perfection for me was
being the smart kid
to be the smart kid i had to only focus
on my intelligence and on how
productive i was but what about the
maria that was an only child the maria
that
loved to hang out with her friends and
have long conversations the maria that
really wanted to
continue figure skating what about her
she was left neglected because i didn’t
recognize myself as a multi-dimensional
being that could have many many passions
aside from
her perfect identity so start
exploring that multi-dimensionality that
makes you you all of the
little parts that form the being that
you are
because believe me you’re full of
incredible ideas you’re full of
potential
and this potential and these ideas and
um this motivation doesn’t have to only
come from one part of yourself that is
deemed as
perfect or as that is deemed as oh my
god
this is what will make you successful
but it can come from
all of the other parts of yourself that
maybe are imperfect
and that’s truly fine
don’t be afraid to explore it
so the bottom line is that as i’m about
to graduate high school
and i’m entering a new life phase of my
life
i can tell you that i’m i’m nervous and
there are times where i want to have
everything under control and where
i want to translate my perfect student
identity to
the maria that i’m going to be in
college but
once i step take a step back and
truly see that there are things out of
my control that
toxic productivity is not the way to
achieve success
and that i’m a multi-dimensional being
with so many passions
and eagerness to explore the world
then i can see that maybe the cause that
surround me right now as i’m graduating
high school
it’s okay and maybe i should embrace it
because it’s full of opportunities and
it’s full of
doors i can explore in which i can
truly be myself so
be more empathetic with yourself listen
to your needs and prioritize your mental
and physical health over whatever crazy
definition of success has been sold to
you
because in the end even if you achieve
that promotion even if you get into
that i believe even if you become the
perfect mother or the perfect
perfect teacher or even though everyone
might think that you’re perfect
um if you’re not truly happy is it worth
it
if you’re a neglected part of yourself
is it truly worth it is that
this success you want so
redefine your definition of success
make it personal make it something that
truly embodies the
different parts of yourself not just
that perfect identity you’re trying to
reach
and above all don’t be afraid to be
imperfect
express your multi-dimensionality
because i’m sure that it’s full of
potential
and ideas that aren’t worth spreading
thank you
you