MAN UP How Stereotypes Become Dangerous.
okay it doesn’t work
okay hi
hello um let’s start this off with a
little icebreaker okay
so i’m gonna tell you guys a story about
me so i went to my grandparents place
a few days ago for a family reunion i’m
sure we’ve all been to big family events
before
wedding just eating whatever reason
right
and usually in family reunions we divide
the tables up
into three sections the men the woman
and the children
this is because all of the men are
expected to be having alcohol
while the woman and children are not
expected to
it’s like the popular saying we have
that involves a flag
think to yourself for a second see if
you know it
this is the saying
which translates to a man without
alcohol
is like a flag without wind it’s a very
simple concept please allow me to
demonstrate i have a flag here with me
please imagine this is a man right
without alcohol
so sad pathetic he’s so sad look
oh but with alcohol wow look at him
so confident flowing in the air no
alcohol
with alcohol very simple concept
it’s a very harmless assumption to be
assuming that all men will be drinking
but it really got me thinking about the
culture and stereotypes we have made up
for men
you see gender discrimination is a
problem everywhere
when the term gender inequality is
mentioned we would usually think of
a woman however most of us are
forgetting that men
also have stereotypes and expectations
that they have to live up to
now i’m not saying that we should be
victimizing all men and forgetting all
about the problems that women face
not at all being born a man already
comes with mountains of privilege
take for example the gender pay gap here
we have a graph
of the different gender pay gaps in
different nations in the world
leading with korea as a 32.5
difference this is an enormous
difference
considering we live in a world where we
aim for equality
now this amongst other reasons will also
influence people’s preferences of sons
over daughters
because they are genuinely convinced
that having a son
means that that son can better provide
for their family
or better provide for the family than a
daughter can in that saying
this leads to things such as sex
selective abortion
a higher crime rate a higher rate of
woman trafficking
or even prostitution in areas with a
higher meal ratio
which can be clearly demonstrated
through china’s one child policy
sorry i feel a sneeze coming
now you see because men have these
expectations that they have to live
up to they are taught very negatively
about negatively about themselves from a
very young age
and this is where the toxic part comes
in you see after centuries of being
forced to fulfill these stereotypes
the character we built up for man has
slowly morphed into
what we now know as toxic masculinity
toxic masculinity is a tricky phrase and
if misunderstood can be wildly
controversial
the meaning of toxic masculinity has
evolved over time
however a short definition for it
according to cambridge
stillworks according to cambridge
dictionary are the ideas
of how a man should behave that is seen
as harmful
the notion of toxic masculinity has been
around since forever
and is still present in our daily lives
for example think for yourself for a
second
you see a man crying oh no why is he
crying
maybe his girlfriend broke up with him
maybe he lost his job
what would you initially say to this
crying man
right hey stop crying why are you crying
why are you such a girl
why are you being a baby can you just
man up for a second
man up the phrase in itself
a man is supposed to be strong tough
masculine they are the breadwinner of
the family
they are the stereotypical boy who grew
up playing with toy cars
and wants to be a superhero a little boy
who likes
playing with dolls will automatically be
assumed to have a problem
and if that same little boy grows up to
like the color pink
or loves doing makeup or just needs to
cry sometimes
he will then be deemed and mocked as gay
we’ve made feeling sadness and
vulnerability into a feminine thing
which is ridiculous quite frankly
because all humans think and feel
as boys grow older they begin to feel
the need to stop expressing themselves
this is usually around the age of 14 or
and it’s not just statistical data that
shows this because you see those are
boys around my age
and i personally see this happen every
day those are my classmates
my friends and people who i care for
very deeply and it’s upsetting to see
them
begin to stop expressing themselves and
potentially exposing themselves
to the danger of toxic masculinity toxic
masculinity is an incredibly dangerous
concept
and brings not only negative effects to
the ones who practice it
but to many other and it is no
coincidence that around the age where
boys begin to feel the need to remove
feelings from their narrative
the suicide rate in boys increase by
five times compared to girls
according to the national institute on
drug abuse
men who are pressured into practicing
toxic masculinity
are more likely to participate in
extreme sports
engage in the use of cigarettes drugs
and alcohol
not only does toxic masculinity leave
profound consequences
on one’s physical health it also leaves
them with the constant feeling of
isolation
the need to maintain a hostile attitude
or the constant need to rebel
this makes them more likely to not
show their emotional vulnerability or
not show sympathy and empathy for others
or to even seek help when they are aware
that they need it
because doing these things make them
seem weak hence they are more likely to
endure it by themselves and end up
suffering alone
even the world health organization
itself has confirmed
that men who practice toxic masculinity
are more likely to die early
or commit suicide
vietnam you see is still a very male
dominant society
which makes issues like this become
overlooked many vietnamese women
who suffer from spousal abuse tend to
remain silent
to earn the respect from their family
members or community
because they genuinely believe that this
is the way to show the man’s dominance
in the relationship
or that they just don’t have the rights
to speak up for themselves anyway
so why try right women are recorded
saying that they are proud of being
beaten
yeah proud of getting hit because that
is their way of keeping the family
together
and it’s it’s very upsetting yes indeed
men are portrayed as hyper masculine
which means that they are more likely to
express this through aggression then the
female
willingly accepts because she too was
taught to believe the same thing
and this eventually leads to an abusive
relationship
now that we’ve established the uglier
side of masculinity
i’m sure you’re wondering if there’s a
solution to this well the first
and foremost thing we need to do before
any major course of actions
is taken is to establish a newer and
healthier definition
for masculinity i’m glad to inform you
that we’ve been making some progress on
this issue
globally in the past few years you see
sociologists are beginning to see the
emergence of a newer
healthier definition of masculinity
promoted by celebrities such as
david beckham frank ocean or even barack
obama himself
these role models encourage men to seek
a healthier definition for masculinity
a more feminized version of masculinity
to
be more open about their emotional
vulnerability to show sympathy and
empathy for others
so on and so forth we’re also beginning
to see
similar role models like this emerge in
vietnam for
most notably our multi-talented artists
chen tang
many have shared that they feel empathy
towards this artist because he is
creating a new definition for
masculinity
nationwide though he is still very
wildly criticized for being
fake or not masculine enough
you see similar to many celebrities
is currently hosting his own tv show
where he tends to get very emotional
when the contestants are sharing their
backstories
the backstories are indeed very
heartwarming but instead of
acknowledging this
people just look at the sobbing man on
screen laugh at him
and then make him into some sort of meme
you see
we live in a world where it’s so rare to
see a man cry
that when we actually witness one we’re
so shocked we just
make it into a joke a man can’t even cry
in this world
without becoming some sort of joke to
people it just proves how insignificant
and not important this issue is to many
and the sooner we recognize how serious
this issue is
the faster we can put an end to toxic
masculinity thank you