How to train employees to have difficult conversations Tamekia MizLadi Smith
We live in a world
where the collection of data
is happening 24 hours a day,
seven days a week,
365 days a year.
This data is usually collected by
what we call a front-desk specialist now.
These are the retail clerks
at your favorite department stores,
the cashiers at the grocery stores,
the registration specialists
at the hospital
and even the person that sold you
your last movie ticket.
They ask discreet questions, like:
“May I please have your zip code?”
Or, “Would you like to use
your savings card today?”
All of which gives us data.
However, the conversation
becomes a little bit more complex
when the more difficult questions
need to be asked.
Let me tell you a story, see.
Once upon a time, there was
a woman named Miss Margaret.
Miss Margaret had been
a front-desk specialist
for almost 20 years.
And in all that time, she has never,
and I do mean never,
had to ask a patient their gender,
race or ethnicity.
Because, see, now Miss Margaret
has the ability to just look at you.
Uh-huh.
And she can tell
if you are a boy or a girl,
black or white, American or non-American.
And in her mind,
those were the only categories.
So imagine that grave day,
when her sassy supervisor invited her
to this “change everything” meeting
and told her that would have to ask
each and every last one of her patients
to self-identify.
She gave her six genders,
eight races and over 100 ethnicities.
Well, now, Miss Margaret was appalled.
I mean, highly offended.
So much so that she marched down
to that human-resource department
to see if she was eligible
for an early retirement.
And she ended her rant by saying
that her sassy supervisor invited her
to this “change everything” meeting
and didn’t, didn’t, even, even
bring, bring food, food, food, food.
(Laughter)
(Applause) (Cheers)
You know you’ve got to bring food
to these meetings.
(Laughter)
Anyway.
(Laughter)
Now, that was an example
of a healthcare setting,
but of course, all businesses
collect some form of data.
True story: I was going
to wire some money.
And the customer service
representative asked me
if I was born in the United States.
Now, I hesitated to answer her question,
and before she even realized
why I hesitated,
she began to throw the company
she worked for under the bus.
She said, “Girl, I know it’s stupid,
but they makin' us ask this question.”
(Laughter)
Because of the way she presented it to me,
I was like, “Girl, why?
Why they makin' you ask this question?
Is they deportin' people?”
(Laughter)
But then I had to turn on
the other side of me,
the more professional
speaker-poet side of me.
The one that understood that there were
little Miss Margarets all over the place.
People who were good people,
maybe even good employees,
but lacked the ability
to ask their questions properly
and unfortunately, that made her look bad,
but the worst, that made
the business look even worse
than how she was looking.
Because she had no idea who I was.
I mean, I literally could have been
a woman who was scheduled to do a TED Talk
and would use her as an example.
Imagine that.
(Applause)
And unfortunately,
what happens is people would decline
to answer the questions,
because they feel like
you would use the information
to discriminate against them,
all because of how you presented
the information.
And at that point, we get bad data.
And everybody knows what bad data does.
Bad data costs you time,
it costs you money
and it costs you resources.
Unfortunately, when you have bad data,
it also costs you a lot more,
because we have health disparities,
and we have social determinants of health,
and we have the infant mortality,
all of which depends
on the data that we collect,
and if we have bad data,
than we have those issues still.
And we have underprivileged populations
that remain unfortunate
and underprivileged,
because the data that we’re using
is either outdated,
or is not good at all
or we don’t have anything at all.
Now, wouldn’t it be amazing
if people like Miss Margaret
and the customer-service
representative at the wiring place
were graced to collect data
with compassionate care?
Can I explain to you
what I mean by “graced?”
I wrote an acrostic poem.
G: Getting the front desk specialist
involved and letting them know
R: the Relevance of their role
as they become
A: Accountable for the accuracy
of data while implementing
C: Compassionate care within
all encounters by becoming
E: Equipped with the education
needed to inform people
of why data collection is so important.
(Applause)
Now, I’m an artist.
And so what happens with me
is that when I create
something artistically,
the trainer in me is awakened as well.
So what I did was, I began to develop
that acrostic poem into a full training
entitled “I’m G.R.A.C.E.D.”
Because I remember,
being the front-desk specialist,
and when I went to the office
of equity to start working,
I was like, “Is that why they asked us
to ask that question?”
It all became a bright light to me,
and I realized that I asked people
and I told people about –
I called them by the wrong gender,
I called them by the wrong race,
I called them by the wrong ethnicity,
and the environment became hostile,
people was offended and I was frustrated
because I was not graced.
I remember my computerized training,
and unfortunately, that training did not
prepare me to deescalate a situation.
It did not prepare me to have
teachable moments when I had questions
about asking the questions.
I would look at the computer and say,
“So, what do I do when this happens?”
And the computer would say …
nothing, because a computer
cannot talk back to you.
(Laughter)
So that’s the importance
of having someone there
who was trained to teach you
and tell you what you do
in situations like that.
So, when I created
the “I’m G.R.A.C.E.D” training,
I created it with that experience
that I had in mind,
but also that conviction
that I had in mind.
Because I wanted
the instructional design of it
to be a safe space
for open dialogue for people.
I wanted to talk about biases,
the unconscious ones
and the conscious ones,
and what we do.
Because now I know
that when you engage people in the why,
it challenges their perspective,
and it changes their attitudes.
Now I know that data
that we have at the front desk
translates into research that eliminates
disparities and finds cures.
Now I know that teaching people
transitional change
instead of shocking them into change
is always a better way
of implementing change.
See, now I know people are more likely
to share information
when they are treated with respect
by knowledgeable staff members.
Now I know that you
don’t have to be a statistician
to understand the power
and the purpose of data,
but you do have to treat people
with respect and have compassionate care.
Now I know that when you’ve been graced,
it is your responsibility
to empower somebody else.
But most importantly, now I know
that when teaching human beings
to communicate with other human beings,
it should be delivered by a human being.
(Applause)
So when y’all go to work
and y’all schedule that
“change everything” meeting –
(Laughter)
remember Miss Margaret.
And don’t forget the food, the food,
the food, the food.
Thank you.
(Applause) (Cheers)
Thank you.
(Applause)