The Alchemy Of Fun Transforming Trauma Into Healing
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in this life i choose to vibrate
higher
i’m lifting like a moon in a cold bald
sky watching abandoned thoughts
run through the open mind
not judging the trauma
that occupies
mine
let this sound be my portal
i let it be light i see
bye i let it beware
i am
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my blessings
see i and i always
knowing i’m one
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my name is jennifer johns i am a singer
i’m a songwriter i’m a producer i’m a
playwright
and i am the very proud niece of
andre bell the one and only
i know him affectionately as uncle buddy
he was my king of fun my mr miyagi
of freedom he made his transition
to the other side of the veil just last
week
so today this stock is for him
let me tell you a little bit about my
uncle buddy my king of fun
my mr miyagi of freedom he had
the biggest smile in all of the world
seriously
he could fix any problem just with his
face
he had the best freckles and the big gap
to smile
and his laugh just shook any pain
right out of your body i would do
anything
right up into my 30s to go to the
grocery store with uncle buddy he would
like
go into the spice aisle and grab
something and then into the bread
section and grab
something and then he’d be like baby go
run
and give me like a grapefruit
and a racquet lamb and a shoestring
and you’d be like but somehow
he would figure out how to pull it all
together and make
something magical uncle buddy was magic
he was from the south side of chicago
and if you know anything about chicago
and in particular the south side of
chicago
you know that it is home to beautiful
black people
historically oppressed black people
black people who moved from the south
and the great migration right
these are powerful people who have seen
some things
they were magicians and they taught him
that magic that he would then teach to
me
he was my mom’s best friend and much
like my mom’s
friends they were the first in their
family
often to get a college education to make
it
out to make it to the other side of the
tracks so to speak
and they would congregate either at
uncle buddy’s house or my mom’s house
every weekend and they would have these
stories of their experiences being the
first black person
in their position of power so my uncle
buddy was the dean of financial aid at
mills college when i was a kid and he
went on to be
the dean of financial aid at cal
berkeley and then
antioch college and so on and my
mother’s friends were those
people in their family they were the
first the black people
that were often the only person of color
in the room
so friday nights when they got together
it was magic they came together to share
their stories and
i just loved being a fly on the wall
shortly earlier in the day
i had taken the trip with uncle buddy to
go and get all of the supplies and i
knew
it was a magical experience but i didn’t
understand that he was performing an
actual ritual
and it was so deep to me
as an adult to look back in this time at
this ritual he was teaching me
he was teaching me the alchemy of fun
the power of using
this renewable resource of fun
to transmute trauma into
joy my mr miyagi of freedom
at every turn was teaching me the
elements
of how to perform this ritual
so on friday evenings they would get
together and they would share their
stories
and the ritual came with a few
specific elements there was always
libations like a really good bottle of
wine
right and there was always really really
good food because uncle buddy could cook
his tail off
and there was always really good music
but most importantly there was this
deep faith and surrender to me
faith is about knowing something greater
is possible
and then there was music and let me tell
you something they would dance
and they would dance and they would
dance and they would dance
oh god and i can hear their laughter
like i’m six years old i’m laying on the
ground just listening
to these wizards unbeknownst to me
moving this energy into space and they
would talk about their day’s experiences
how
they had encountered someone’s
this
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foreign
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to god
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we choose grace
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simple and again
of happiness
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so as they would dance and they would
engage in this alchemy of fun
and the surrender was like the spoon
that stirred the cauldron and then just
like that
they were free they were neither their
job or their race or their gender they
were just moving
and they were light and they were open
and they would rejoice in their bodies
keep
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something about this alchemy the
the process this experience that they
would have every friday night where they
would churn
this love around
it led to a freedom a release
a presence of mind see they
had seen the things they were the first
in their family they had
seen real things
their families were from the south they
told stories of lynchings
and of police violence they knew what it
meant to be
profiled they knew what it meant to be
the only
one that looked like them in the room
and so
when they used this alchemic process
of fun they could hear what was theirs
to do
and so the phone would start ringing and
my mom would be like yo
we gotta make sure that this kid doesn’t
drop out of school
we’ve got to figure out how we’re going
to make sure that this person’s tuition
is paid
they would find ways to create new
programs so that more
students of color could come to these
prestigious universities
around the country
i stand on the shoulders of giants but
so did they
and they taught me everything that they
learned
the alchemy of fun
and i would watch them as they would
apply
the same alchemy
to groups outside of our family
so when making change sometimes we
encounter people who don’t look or feel
like us it was faith
the knowingness that something else is
possible
a surrender to the process and then
libations
food music and each other and
i would see their world change i would
see the bridges that they would build
for the next generation to walk across
and most importantly i would see the
pride and the joy i give
deep gratitude for my uncle buddy
who taught me the alchemy
inside of me to liberate myself
to transmute my own trauma into joy
so uncle buddy this one’s for you
i choose fun now
i’m bold and my dedication to fun for
fun
is the gateway to freedom i unabashedly
pursue my own happiness with passion
and purpose i know that the whole world
is waiting on me to be
fun have fun and share fun and i will
not let us down
i live love and laugh all the time
without ceasing from my fun it’s the
light
it makes the world brighter it is
contagious and inspires us
all gives life to us all
so i search for and through my fun
relentlessly
so that i may better understand myself
and unwrap
my sacred and divine purpose on this
planet
in this time of killjoys and for legends
it is imperative that we
are boundless so i make great
love and inspiring music
incredible i choose to dance till i
break
and laugh till i cry for fun is the
elixir
it is the cure it is the panacea it is
my spiritual practice
i choose yeah
you