What thinking of my life as a tree has taught me Jenny Hill
how would you respond if i told you we
are
trees have you considered that you have
a story that underlines your actions
and when you meet another person the
same idea is true
there is a hidden root system growing
underneath
holding us up i’d like to share my own
story that led me to this idea
and then help lead you on your own
journey
i was born in march of 1984
about three months before my due date as
i began to grow my parents noticed some
things that didn’t seem quite right
among them my inability to sit up my
legs seemed to point
straight out and one day instead of
grabbing a toy with my left hand
i made a fist and moved it to my right
in order to grasp
the doctors had a name for this cerebral
palsy
caused by lack of oxygen to the brain at
or during birth
cerebral palsy or cp means that a
person’s
brain is sending the message to deliver
too much muscle tone
to parts of the body for me it mainly
impacts my lower extremities
when i began to learn how to walk my
knees turned in and my left foot was
essentially flipped
as i dragged it behind me i fell often
in 1988 as the age of four i underwent
extensive surgery where my achilles
tendons and hamstrings were cut
and lengthened my femurs were also cut
and rotated so that i could walk with
both of my feet
flat on the ground after being entombed
in a body cast for six weeks i began to
heal
and the results were amazing i’ve walked
independently without the use of
crutches
or a walker for most of my adult life
but what about that left foot
that i used to drag behind me
because of heredity in my cp i developed
a bunion
on the side of my big toe i didn’t find
it to be painful
but i did find it to be ugly
it always seemed odd to me that my left
foot and my right foot
didn’t match i took great care
to hide my feet during my formative
years even
from myself sitting alone i’d place my
right foot over my left
so i didn’t have to see it i had made
sure to wear socks one in other people’s
homes i
bought sandals that covered the toes
even with all that effort
sometimes people would see my feet and
sometimes they would comment
i have this vivid memory of a girl at
summer camp who saw my bare feet and
crinkled up her face in disgust
almost near tears asking me ew what is
that
it was with these emotions in mind that
i revisited my surgeon in 1999
the one who had done such great work
when i was a kid
i hadn’t seen him in several years and i
was now a freshman in high school
he did something that day that i’ve
never experienced before
he honored my left foot taking my bare
foot and his bare hands he carefully
spread my toes
and looked at them not in disgust
not needing to hide anything and then he
said something to me
that i will never forget you are
normal i wanted to take him with me to
high school the next day
and introduce him to all my peers and
tell him this guy thinks i’m normal
maybe i wasn’t a freak of nature after
all
what was bulging on the side of my foot
was normal for people with a cp
he had seen it several times before and
unless i was experiencing pain
and i wasn’t it didn’t need to be
removed
something else happened that day
i beheld someone who was highly educated
elite
and yet in his compassion he wanted to
be around a high school student
with a deformed left foot
i began to understand that very few
people have the knowledge
skills and talent to alter a person’s
walk
i began to realize the magnitude of what
he had done for me and its impact on my
daily life
that day i realized that orthopedic
surgery not only transformed the way i
walk on this earth but how i walk
through life
from that day on i decided i wanted to
be someone
who was compassionate i wanted to
develop something inside me
that i might give away to other people
medicine is not my field but eventually
i realized my calling to become a
teacher
i began to study for hours each day all
the way through high school and into
college
many people began to notice my drive and
told me i belonged in higher education
i graduated top of my class earned my
master’s degree and spent 11 years
as an elementary school library media
specialist i finished my doctorate in
2016 and in 2019
accepted an offer as an assistant
professor of education
the day after my interview for my new
college job i was sitting in another
orthopedic surgeon’s office
staring into the face of a young
resident who had spent the morning at a
seminar
learning from the hero of my youth it
was now 20 years later
and that bunion had started to hurt
every left step
every day i had tried all the
non-invasive options
nothing had brought relief not only did
the bunion need to be removed but my
step had to be altered so the problem
didn’t return
my left achilles tendon needed to be
lengthened
yet again i begin
my career in higher education with a
rainbow cast
a walker and another physical reminder
of why i had entered into this
profession
in the first place that’s the story of
my own root system
what has held me up and it’s through
these hidden experiences like the one i
had with my surgeon
that develop support and help us become
the towering oaks
we were designed to be but what about
you
what is growing underneath the surface
in your life
what is it that’s being developed in the
hidden realms that’s very much alive yet
unseen do you want to be an artist a
scientist
a writer maybe you want to be a parent
maybe you want to stand or sit on a
stage like this one
and speak whatever it is keep on
nurturing your dream
it’s about making a little commitment
every day towards achieving your goal
every day set aside some time to work on
your art
study practice it’s in the hidden
moments the routine repeated day after
day
that will help you grow secondly
i wanted to ask you what is breaking
ground in your life right now
so that new life can sprout up
sometimes in life we experience
suffering and pain along the way to
becoming who we are
going to be i think the challenge is to
let the breaks the cracks in the surface
have their way
so they can lead to our wholeness helen
keller is quoted as saying
the struggle of life is one of our
greatest blessings
it makes us patient sensitive god-like
it teaches us that although the world is
full of suffering it is also full
of the overcoming of it if you find that
your life is breaking apart today
pay attention you may soon see life
sprouting forth my third question for
you today
is have you noticed what kind of fruit
you’re bearing
i was observing in life that sometimes
we feel like a plant
that has overgrown its pot suddenly life
has gotten
really uncomfortable and we find that we
need more space than before
different soil and the freedom to spread
out
it’s at that time in our lives that
becomes alarming that the fruit we are
bearing
is sometimes different than those around
us
as if we are different types of trees
this can feel lonely and uncomfortable
and i’m sure you’ve been there
and that leads me to my last question
how are you giving life to others
how is your fruit helping to feed a
hungry world
there is no right way to do this
and it could change over time your fruit
could be serving a meal in very public
ways as you lead a non-profit or a
business or a school
your fruit could be private as you rock
a baby to bed at night
care for people who are disabled or help
the homeless
whatever it is find a way to plant it in
fertile soil
because inside it are the seeds of
future life
as i conclude today i want to leave you
with these thoughts to save her
the next time you encounter someone who
is different than you perhaps a
different race
gender physical ability can you remember
that deep inside that person
is a hidden root system a story that you
don’t yet know
there is something that has held them up
over time waiting to be discovered
you can plant the seeds of the future
inspire the next generation of people to
become who they are
an artist a writer a mother speaker
college professor
an orthopedic surgeon or a school
librarian
ladies and gentlemen have you considered
we are trees
you