Makeup or Warpaint You Decide
uh
makeup tattoos body piercings
plastic surgery lip fillers cheek
enhancements
permanent makeup hair extensions
changing your eye color
that’s the beauty industry a half a
trillion dollar industry
funded by our insecurities and desires
to be what i call
super women i am a warrior
the kind that likes to wear war paint
what many of us call
makeup there’s a why to all that we
overcome
there’s a why to all that we do today
i’m going to uncover
the why behind the beauty among those
beauty trends one making a comeback
is permanent makeup yes i am talking
about
tattooing your makeup onto your face
like i mentioned war paint so why do so
many people have this desire to wear
permanent makeup
to wear permanent war paint makeup and
beauty practices have been around for
centuries
in tribal rituals warrior dances and
to signify the rite of passage
i like to reframe how we view beauty to
recognize and discover
our natural beauty to uncover the reason
for the mask
i’m not asking you to take off your war
paint
i definitely love mine i’m asking you to
be clear on why you wear it
i wear my war paint because i like to
accentuate my natural beauty
and of course i love to have my war gear
on
why because you never know what battle
today holds
many of us were taught that beauty is
pain i was
my grandmother was always put together
she wore structured clothes
heels brows plucked she even drank aloe
juice daily for glowing skin
she taught me that this is what we do as
women
her lessons were rough she never
accepted how i looked
she would always put me down telling me
i wasn’t enough of this or that
her war paint was important to her
after her stroke the first thing she
asked for
was her lipstick and brow pencil you see
we as women endure becoming a model was
something i always dreamed about
while learning the importance of beauty
i was also taught the importance of
education
discipline and compassion my dad taught
me compassion
we would rescue and nurse animals back
to health in our neighborhood
a bird with a broken wing squirrels
whose mothers were nowhere in sight
i loved it there is an ongoing
stereotype that models are
one-dimensional
i encourage you to remember that you
don’t know what someone else’s story is
you don’t know what battle someone has
fought
until they share it with you
or until you see the scars and are brave
enough to ask
i went to a military boarding school
where besides
education i was taught the importance of
discipline and how to endure
once again i was taught skills that
would serve me well
time and time again while in military
school
and modeling part-time i met my husband
at 15.
he was 18 years my senior he would visit
me at boarding school
and make me feel like a princess
it was amazing i felt special and unique
with him
as my boyfriend keep in mind my
older brother introduced us so there was
a level of trust with my parents being
supportive of this relationship
i loved our life and being beautiful for
him
was important to me he always wanted me
to be beautiful and put together
he would pluck each brow until he deemed
them perfect
he would get hair and makeup in before
we went out he would pick
each piece of clothing
we married as soon as i turned 18. i had
our daughter a year later
coming from the modeling industry i
became reliant on my war paint as part
of my job
on and off stage and it was a daily
ritual
but what i didn’t know was that my
warrior was going to be activated
i needed my war paint because i
had to go to war
when i was eight months pregnant my
older brother
was murdered in a robbery gone wrong at
the funeral
my husband whispered into my ear
i promised your brother i treat you like
a queen
but now that he’s gone that promise is
also gone
i didn’t know what to expect except to
think he was grieving the loss of his
best friend
this must be his way of grieving with it
i dismissed it i was going to keep our
family together
i am the female macgyver i can change
the oil in your car
crochet you a scarf for winter a hot
bikini for summer
all while in full glam hair and makeup
of course as
a three-course meal pops out of the oven
organic at that
my resourcefulness was going to be
tested beyond
measure
things began to unravel rapidly with my
husband
he began to control everything about me
i became the doll he played with he
prevented me from going to college
then the verbal and mental abuse
began we moved to different cities and
countries
every few weeks for his work it was
common for my friends and family not to
hear from me for weeks at a time
i had enough when i decided to leave him
i thought it would be over i thought i
would be free
at 20 and being a new mom it was a very
complicated decision
he promised me the moon i went back
that is when i was introduced to the sad
and awful truth
that monsters are real upon arriving
in his arms that monster showed up full
force the man i thought was my prince
charming
kidnapped me took my baby beat me and
raped me repeatedly for six
months
the man i trusted took everything from
me
but what he didn’t know was that i had
been taught to endure
beauty rituals strict discipline at
military school
not having a lot of food i mean
i was a model before i tell you more i
would like you all to consider
what battles we’re fighting you don’t
know
someone’s truth until they share it
i am also here to redefine superwoman in
all her war paints
figuratively and literally
a superwoman is supportive of other
women
we teach our sons how to behave and
respect women
we have more than one passion and career
we leave a legacy of beauty and love
we have a story and until we share it
you don’t know our truth
what i do know for certain is that super
women
are heroes powerful
beautiful but most importantly
we are warriors while being held captive
i wanted to give up on the world and
myself i didn’t see a point of living
one day when i was in the middle of
being raped i thought
i must have done something so wrong in
life that i must be paying for it
should i been helping and feeding
pigeons on the street instead of being
scared of them
he raped me over and over again to own
me in this way
to get me pregnant he made sure to
starve me
and any woman knows you can’t get
pregnant at a three percent body fat
but i needed a sign weeks into this
torture
i would talk to god if this is my
punishment for something i did and don’t
remember in a past life
and this is my punishment if this is
what you want from me
let me get pregnant weeks into this
torture
i became more submissive then
i got the sign i wasn’t pregnant
at first i thought i was relieved i
wasn’t a bad person
but now that i’m not a bad person why is
this happening to me
being that i’m the female macgyver i’ve
fought
to find a solution what do i need to see
what do i need to know
i quickly realized
the monster wanted full control over me
and my body
he wanted me to be a submissive woman
and this
is when the real battle began naked
and without any war paint i was going to
win
i showed him he won
i put on a show i made him believe that
he was like my loving husband
i got him to trust me and we would go
out in public
i was putting on a show for him i was
only i was like posing for the camera
only allowing him what he wanted to see
of me
this silent battle went on and my
warrior
was relentless
i finally convinced them to to go back
to the states
so we can get proper treatment for
fertility i was still being held
captive i didn’t have access to a
computer
money or passport and he would monitor
the few phone calls i received from my
parents
i knew once i returned back i would be
able to plan my escape
i would be able to get on the internet
figure out a way to get home safe
without him catching us
and that’s what i did
i found his lab i found a laptop
one day while he was going out for a
smoothie one of the strategies i used to
get him out
i would watch him leave and start the
clock
i opened the computer it worked
i emailed my mom and i told her
not to message me it was life and death
that i wasn’t okay but i needed her to
pick me up
wednesday 10 pm sharp i mentally
prepared for the escape
wednesday came two men approached
i thought oh no i’m dead
time stopped but when i opened the door
it was my dad and his friend my dad
stood there
in total disbelief literally
didn’t believe this was life and death
his friends looked into my eyes and saw
my truth
he saw that i had been in battle he saw
my warrior
he quickly took action grabbed the
diapers the formula
we got out i was free
my daughter and i escaped and i’m here
today sharing this story so that we can
prevent others from having to go to war
i am raising my beautiful daughter and
teaching her how to be a superwoman
i am still an advocate for animals in
fact
a neighborhood possum is on the top of
my list
war paint comes in all colors shapes
sizes genders it can look like tattoos
lots of makeup piercings
fancy bags and cars shoes
it can look like a person having a
mid-life crisis you know
buying that red convertible
if we can recognize our war pain we
cannot only help ourselves but we can
help
others if we can recognize the pain
behind the beauty
if we can see our battle scars and war
paint then
we can have empathy compassion
love forgiveness and ultimately
world peace thank you