Paint it Forward Full Speed No Fear
hello
my name is hannah donner and i’m 22
years old
before i talk more about my 22 year old
self i would like to introduce you to 17
year old hannah
hannah was a senior in high school who
while very ambitious
had generally no idea of where she would
end up after her high school graduation
would she be attending a four-year
university going directly into the
workforce
exactly what would her identity be after
high school graduation
hannah really had no idea and the only
concrete thing that she knew about
herself
was that she loved to play volleyball
and with her volleyball team she spent
the summer working hard
to create a cohesive and happy season
aside from volleyball hannah enjoyed
advocating for others and sticking up
for them in their times of need
she used her voice to stand up for
herself and those in hardship
however on september 23 2016
hannah’s voice and drive was taken from
her when she fell asleep at the wheel
and her car struck a tree
the car hit at the center of the license
plate and her airbags did not deploy
this time was very scary for hannah and
her family
as you can imagine the injuries were
extensive she had many broken bones to
her face
and her leg and foot aside from the bone
breakages
she had lung damage and a brain bleed in
her tentorium
which causes mood change and memory loss
when hannah was removed from the car on
the night of the accident
she was given cpr for eight minutes
because her heart had stopped beating
after she was resuscitated she was
airlifted by helicopter to kehobnanian
children’s hospital’s trauma center
in neptune new jersey where she spent
the next upcoming weeks in a coma
while hannah was in the hospital the
support that she received from the
outside community was overwhelming
people that she didn’t know had come to
visit and share their condolences
and good wishes with the family and then
of course her friends and family did not
leave her side
however this positive notion at her side
when hannah woke up
from the coma she was just more lost
than she was before
aside from now trying to figure out who
she would be she had to understand what
had happened
would she recover would she ever fully
get back to who she was
there were so many unknown questions and
much uncertainty at this time
when hannah went home from the hospital
it was a very sad and hard time
as a senior in high school she couldn’t
drive or go to school
she couldn’t see her friends and she
couldn’t go to sporting events or play
with her team
it was very upsetting for her and her
family however
the support from the community was
uplifting and inspiring
for example her volleyball team raised
money for her and
helped her in buying a dog for her
family which that inspired hannah
is one of the main things in her
recovery another happy moment for hannah
during this time
was when she was asked to drop the
ceremonial first puck in the ice hockey
game for central regional high school
where she attended
the school honored her at the ice rink
and it was symbolic for hannah that she
decided in this moment that she would
take hold of
her recovery period and it was up to her
almost exactly two months after the car
accident hannah had a doctor’s
appointment at her neurologist
she went into this appointment with
hopes maybe she can resume
her everyday life maybe she could go
back to school
maybe she could start driving soon all
of the upcoming wishes hannah was hoping
that she could
clear out in the open with her doctor
that day
her doctor turned to her confidently at
the end of the appointment and said
i think you can go back to school in
january hannah
and she was very upset january it’s only
november
and she felt impatient and she spent the
rest of the time with the doctor
negotiating she wanted to go back the
next day she wanted to take hold of her
recovery
and she turned and she fought for it and
she didn’t go back to school in january
or in december but she went back to
school the very next day
and that was the first time that i
hannah felt like myself again
since that accident the next day when i
returned to school while i was very
excited i quickly became overwhelmed
and it was an eye-opener that things
would not be as easy as i expected in
this recovery time
for example things like the school bell
and the bright lights everything was
very frustrating for me i hadn’t been
living like that in the last few months
i had much support from my peers and
faculty running up to me asking how i
was doing
but it was quickly overwhelming for me
and i became very frustrated
it was an eye-opener it would take a lot
longer to recover than i expected
and then during this time it was just
focused on
recovering and my education for the
remainder of my senior year
at the time of my graduation however i
began to feel nostalgic or upset
how could i move on into college career
without completing this journey
i needed to do something to make myself
feel better what could i do at this time
to make my journey feel complete and i
decided after a long thought and
speaking with my family
that i needed to say thank you to the
hospital not only did they
save my life on a medical level they
gave me another opportunity to find out
who i
am to answer those questions that i had
as a 17 year old
they gave me that opportunity and they
may not even have noticed
but it was more than just saving my life
so
when i attended the college of new
jersey during my first year
i was at a meeting where the ceiling
tiles were painted in an elementary
school art room
with just happy messages and i said oh i
have to do that
that’s what i have to do i’m going to
transform the hospital
the physical building itself so i reach
out to the members of the k hamnetian
children’s hospital
child life specialist department and i
say can i come in for a meeting
and i go in and we’re discussing the
logistics and i’m very excited i think
they’re enjoying the idea
and they turn to me and they say okay
hannah we’ll give you 12 ceiling tiles
and then in that moment for me the words
12 and january became synonymous
no i didn’t want 12 i wanted more like
1200 i wanted to
make a difference and show these people
that you can be inspired in a bad
situation like this like i was
by my team and my family in my community
so luckily my negotiation skills kicked
in once again
and i argued long enough with the
hospital that they have given me
as many ceiling tiles as i’ve needed
hundreds at that moment
i returned home that day and began
planning the first event of paint it
forward
which is my initiative to fill the
hospital at k-hub nania children’s
hospital
with ceiling tiles with inspiring and
happy messages
for the patients and their family and
the hospital community itself
i just wanted to transform the hospital
into something that could be inspiring
and even distracting for the patients
that are in a horrible situation
and i quickly realized at my first event
which was held here at the college of
new jersey through the best buddies
program
that many of the participants had the
same goal as me to benefit one person’s
life at a time
originally i felt awkward asking people
to paint something
and then return it without getting
anything in return themselves
it was awkward for me to ask these
people for so much but i quickly found
out
that they wanted to help others they had
the exact same goal as me
which that was inspiring in itself now i
want to speak about
some of my specifically favorite ceiling
tiles these two tiles here
are painted by a couple who reached out
to me after the ceiling tile event
erupted at the college of new jersey
and they asked for two ceiling tiles and
the one on the left is a famous dr seuss
quote that reads
sometimes life is bumpy and blue filled
with gobs of goo gunk and sticky extoo
but you’ll find your way and you’ll pull
yourself through you’re stupendously
strong but mostly your you
and then the ceiling tile on the right
is a beautiful image of the galaxy that
was painted
as a distraction for children in
terrible or traumatic situations like
myself
i quickly found that these ceiling tiles
were not only for the patients
but they were also meaningful to be
painted for the people
all the participants themselves and this
next ceiling tile was painted by my
brother
who is the world’s biggest harry potter
fan the quote reads
it matters not what someone is born but
what they grow to be
and that i think is perfect for someone
in the situation
that i was in it doesn’t matter where
you are at that moment but it matters
how you pull yourself out
and how you grow after this and while
this ceiling tile was simply just
painted because my brother loves harry
potter
and he thought the children would like
it in the hospital it could be
an instrumental moment for someone
looking up at that tile and say
hey you’re right this doesn’t matter
where i am now i’m just going to move
forward
and i’m going to grow just as 17 year
old hannah did
and this next ceiling tile was painted
by me at the college of new jersey at
our first large event
it reads if it doesn’t challenge you it
won’t change you and while 17 year old
hannah may not have understood the
weight of these words
22 year old hannah does i didn’t
necessarily change through this process
but i grew into this new person that i
am today
and i’m proud of this person but i would
also identify as 17 year old hannah
when i described 17 year old hannah i
said she was ambitious
but had no real plan about who she would
be after graduation
and i could say the same exact thing for
myself now except that i know how
meaningful that it is to help others in
your own recovery
i also know that i had what it took to
get through what i was going through
and i find that it’s synonymous with
most people you have what it takes to
get through what you’re going through
and now i want to leave you with my very
favorite ceiling tile which was painted
by my roommate and good friend rachel
the tile simply reads you are strong
full speed
no fear rachel is on the tcnj field
hockey team and
during her season before each game her
dad always sends her something before
each game
to give her motivation and to get her in
the right mindset before she steps onto
the field
this phrase full speed no fear was
hanging up in our college dorm
for the entire freshman year and while
it may have been
a nice reminder of her dad or an
athletic motivator for
rachel for me it’s how i view myself and
it’s how i view my recovery
i went into that recovery at full speed
no fear when i started to take hold of
my life again
that first day at the neurologist
appointment and i think that is how
everyone should proceed into their lives
whatever their bad situation is whatever
their situation is overall
you should proceed into it at full speed
with absolutely no fear
and you already have the strength to do
so thank you
you