How to Transform the Way You See Yourself
[Music]
[Applause]
have you
ever said no i don’t want to have my
picture taken
not me i’m not photogenic
if you’re a woman chances are
these words have come out of your lips
probably more than once
as a portrait photographer there’s not a
week
no there’s not a day that goes by that i
don’t hear one of these things
and it’s simply not true
to be seen is one of the most powerful
things
as human beings
that we can experience and to not be
seen
is what happens to women in oppressed
countries
or to women who are oppressed themselves
we can create an experience where women
feel powerful and beautiful and sexy and
amazing
and gorgeous in a portrait session
and forget about all of those things
that we thought were true
now i understand there are times in our
lives seasons in our lives
when we can go through things where we
feel like we don’t want to be seen
i had a season like that a few years ago
i went through a brutal divorce my world
my
family it felt like i had been ripped
apart and i decided
to walk on the camino de santiago the
camino de santiago is an
ancient pilgrimage across northern spain
i went by myself but i met people along
the way
and we created experiences together that
were remarkable
one day after walking close to 15 miles
with 30 plus pounds on my back i found
myself
in an ancient church it looked like one
of the ones that i’d seen in my
high school world geography book
it was probably an ancient roman pagan
temple
and as i sat there on the bench that was
hard
and cold i was uncomfortable
i was tired i was hungry
but i sat there and i let the words wash
over me
and all of a sudden out of the corner of
the room
i heard the most beautiful voice
singing the sweetest song
amazing grace how sweet the sound
to save a wretch like me i once was lost
but now i’m found
tears started to pour down my cheeks
and i kept crying the song continued
was grace that made me see
i continued to listen and i continued to
sit
and the cry turned into the ugly cry and
i didn’t have any kleenex and my nose
was running and
all the things and when the service was
over i got up and of course i had my
backpack and my camera with me and i
took some pictures
because i wanted to remember this place
like i would ever forget it
and when i walked to the back of the
church
my new german friend tobias was waiting
at the back door and i said to him to
beast
thank you thank you for singing
he had his arms crossed over his chest
and he said
julie i wasn’t singing i knew that he
sang at home in his church choir
i said but you heard amazing grace you
heard the song
no nobody was singing
and soon the tears came again
because i knew it was time for me
to stop playing small i needed to be
seen
i wanted to be seen it was time for me
to elevate not only myself
but other women as well and that’s when
i came home
and i started to photograph people
portraits
and mostly women and i have some
stories of some of those women that i
would like to share with you today
this woman was raised in a culture she
explained to me
that if you were given a compliment
you said oh no no i’m not that or no
she’s not really whatever the compliment
was
she is an incredibly accomplished woman
she’s a professional classical pianist
she’s a martial artist a black belt
and a business owner and when she came
in for her portraits
she wanted to see the confidence in
herself
that she had forgotten this photograph
she told me is how i want to see myself
every day this is what i want to
remember
now she had been raised in a culture she
had no
bad feelings about the way that she was
raised she was proud of it
and now it’s time for her to shine
and to elevate herself and to live her
very best life
this woman came to me for some business
branding
she grew up on a farm but she wanted to
go full glam and she wanted to do a
little bit of a marilyn monroe vibe
so we even put the little dimple or the
mole
on there and she got the marilyn monroe
look that she wanted
and we did some kind of serious ones for
her business
and we also did some that were a little
more fun
and some glitter and some sparkles
and when we looked at the photographs
she started to cry and she said
julie is that me that’s that’s me
that’s really me yes it is
that’s really you she saw a sparkle that
she hadn’t seen in a while
when she came back to pick up her
portraits
she told me that the day that she’d had
her portrait session she had learned
that she was
diabetic and you know what i’ve done
since then julie
i’ve exercised every day i’ve changed
the way i’m eating
oh and by the way my business is growing
i’m out there in the world so much more
than i ever was
now this woman came to me for
an author photograph for her book
she’s a special education teacher she’s
a grandma
and she wanted to have some pictures for
this new book that’s being published
well when we talked before her session i
said you know if you want to try
something a little different if you want
to do some boudoir if you want to do
something a little bit fun
we can try that too she’s like okay well
we’ll see
and as we were getting ready and styling
her shoot
as i was looking through her bag and
asking her what she was going to wear
with what
i said oh did you want to try some
boudoir
she was a little bit shy and she said
yeah i do i think i’d like to do that
for my husband for his birthday
so we took some beautiful shots
and when she received her photographs
she looked through her folio collection
and when this one came up
she said julie i’m sure my husband has
seen me that way
but i have never seen myself like this
she was a little bit shy and a little
bit surprised
but she changed the way she sees herself
the last story that i’m going to share
with you
is the story of a woman that i
photographed while she was going through
breast cancer treatment
every year i photograph women as part of
a non-profit
in the community where i live to help
them see themselves to help them
elevate themselves and also to promote
the nonprofit
and when she came back to see her
photographs they were lined up in my
studio
and she told me several months later she
said i wasn’t feeling well that day
chemotherapy side effects she said but
when i walked
into the room and she choked back the
tears
three months later she said and i saw
these photographs of myself
looking strong and vibrant
and full of life and then she almost
whispered
and beautiful she said i knew that i was
gonna be okay
i knew that everything would be all
right
and she is we can change the way we
see ourselves we can change ourselves
we can change our family we can change
our community
with the simple act of saying
yes i want to be seen
yes i am that
and so how do you do that because i have
talked with people women
especially who have had bad
experiences
almost 90 percent of the information
that comes into our brain
every day is visual almost 90 percent
think of how powerful it would be if you
had a portrait of yourself looking
glamorous
powerful elevated enlightened inspired
creative the list is endless
and the key is to find someone find a
photographer to work with
who will hold that space for you who
will help you
create something where you can
feel and be and step
into the light that you are meant to
share with the world
because all of us have something that is
meant to be shared with the world
it’s why we’re here
no more playing small
no more saying oh no not me
it’s time for us as women
to create our legacy
to move forward into the future
to be seen as we
are right here right now
today thank you
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