Women Aging and Visibility
[Music]
uh
queen elizabeth 94 boom
jane fonda and lily tomlin 82 and 81
boom boom sisley tyson 95
boom and i am 65
boom a few years ago i was in costa rica
with my surfboard
and looking down at my leg standing
strong in the powerful force of nature
i had a moment of grace i thought i love
these legs that have supported me
all these years i look back at the beach
and i saw a gorgeous young woman walk by
and i thought may you be so blessed
to live this long be this strong and
healthy
and live a life you love but not one
drop of envy
instead of wishing i was her i felt
grounded in my body
and grateful has served me well and i
was clear i would not give up
one single experience for that moment
but best of all i felt sexy and hot
and it came from the inside out
in 2002 at 2008 i made the world
a promise that all women would be
leaders in their lives in the world by
i just turned 50 three years earlier
with single
fully self-supporting and a great career
and i had just thrown myself a birthday
party that would rival
any wedding the year before i’d gone to
a spa
with a sports therapy program and i went
to see a therapist
about my depression at turning 50 he
said let me get this straight you’re an
athlete
i just done my first walking marathon
for avon
to raise money for breast cancer in
honor of my mother who died at 34.
you’re healthy you look amazing what’s
in a number
for me the fear was about getting older
and being invisible as women age we
become invisible
it usually starts around 40 sometimes
earlier
and it continues as we age even though
40s when we step into our maturity and
power
at 43 i was trying to get pregnant and i
could not
i discovered i was going through early
menopause
oh i was catatonic for days
i felt like i just started to live my
life and it was over
visions of being a crone single nobody
wanting to date me or have sex
i was going to spend the rest of my days
driving around with just me and my dog
like my widowed aunts
or only centenarian men would be
interested in me
i tried to talk to other women about
menopause and i found it’s not something
that women like to talk about
if i had a mother i could have asked her
so instead i reached out to two of my
aunts
i was frustrated by the lack of
information
and then i found the book by dr
christian northrup called women’s bodies
women’s wisdom first published in 1994.
contrary to popular myth women get
better as we age
think life is over at menopause guess
again
think sex is done wrong again
our bodies are designed to birth and
nurse children
whether we ever become mothers or not
and when we’re done with that phase of
life
we actually become free of our bodies
no longer driven by the ebb and flow of
hormones
we experience a rebirth
where a lifetime of experiences and a
newfound sense of self
can motivate us to create significant
changes in our lives and explore new
frontiers
a real renaissance
back to the sports therapist he went on
to explain
in the early days if someone was in
debtors jail and they turned 50 they
were released
they celebrated living long enough to
turn 50. it’s called the jubilee year
he said why don’t you throw yourself a
jubilee birthday party and i did
in the time since i’ve celebrated i’ve
done several triathlons including two in
new york city
i fell in love and married the love of
my life at 58
and a strapless oscar de la renta gown
pure confection totally shameless
and i learned to surf somewhere
deep inside of me i must have developed
a newfound sense of self or self-esteem
or a true north and inner knowing
we all have it we just have to listen to
that little voice in us
and be true to ourselves honor ourselves
not transgress our own values
stand strong for what we believe in even
in the face of no agreement
this is courage have the fear
and do it anyway and i started to own
who i was our society deems women
invisible
at a certain age and this is something
we can change now and forever
so that our younger sisters after us
never feel their light go out
there’s so many myths and misconceptions
about women aging in our western culture
including as we get older we become
invisible what happens is we can feel
less valued
and sometimes downright disregarded
there’s an entire population that feels
disenfranchised
what happens is internally we feel
invisible and we feel like our life
doesn’t have much meaning
and we take on the role of being
invisible as women age we have so
much to offer but we believe the myth
live as if it’s true
and it becomes a self-fulfilling
prophecy
young women do not know what this is
about
it is my desire that younger women who
have never experiences
never do rather than warn our younger
sisters it’s my desire to mentor
and support women and talk about this so
we stop accepting and we stop
passing it down this will not only serve
our communities
but it will have a global impact as well
the power of one tiny wave
in japan can make its way to the shore
in costa rica like the waves i stood in
it starts as a swell
somewhere way out in the ocean and by
the time it reaches the shore and breaks
its force is irresistible
water has an undeniable ripple effect
and your actions can have this kind of
effect too
it starts with you do one thing it
doesn’t matter how big or small
because like the waves its force is
undeniable
if you feel invisible look yourself in
the eye
in the mirror and say something positive
that you believe is true about yourself
like you’re amazing you go girl you suit
up and show up no matter what
i’m so proud of you go get them when you
do this your light actually comes on
we can feel old or invisible at any age
to stay visible
continue to affirm yourself with
positive thoughts
and if that’s tough move a muscle change
a thought
sometimes it just takes a smile
becoming visible is our responsibility
not only for ourselves but for our
brothers and sisters
when we stay visible they come to see us
as heroes
and they benefit from our wisdom i have
many heroes but definitely jane fonda
i knew her as a political activist and
actress during the vietnam war in the
70s
in the 80s she reinvented herself and
changed the world with her exercise
video jane fonda’s workout
best selling video home system of all
time
in the 90s she retired from acting only
return in 2005
and co-found the women’s media center
with gloria steinem
and robin morgan to amplify the voices
of women in the media
in 2015 jane stepped into her principal
role
co-starring at grace and frankie and in
2018
she was featured in the award-winning
documentary jane
fonda and 5 act jane is still my hero
as recent as october of last year she
was first arrested for protesting
climate change
she has inspired millions of people and
jane in turn has been inspired by young
people
especially the environmental activist
greta tunberg
who prompted jane to commit the rest of
her life
to climate change like jane
you have a principal role to play in
order to create this kind of change
let’s all embrace our five
[Applause]
acts