Women Believing in Women
thank you thank you thank you
hola felicidad revolucion mexicana today
is mexican revolution day
an actual holiday in mexico guys unlike
cinco de mayo
i’m not even gonna get there but i mean
you can still drink though today so
let’s celebrate mexican revolution day
after the ted talk
but i’m not here to talk to you about
mexican holidays
i’m here to talk to you about how i an
immigrant from mexico
who came to this country at 17 pregnant
and without knowing any english became
an award-winning journalist in both
spanish and english news and how
when we women believe in each other can
create positive outcomes
and sometimes with a simple act of
kindness
we can change someone’s life without us
even trying
but in order for you to understand my
journey i must take you back to my
childhood
i was born and raised in caborca sonora
mexico
yay i grew up in both cavorca and a
small town called
pitikito this is about six hours away
from phoenix if you look it up in the
map it’s there i promise just a tiny
tiny dot but it’s there
you know growing up there was really
tough
we were really poor my dad he basically
built our
our first home with no experience at all
and this is before youtube
he basically put just wood and rack
and then he put it together without any
insulation so it was really cold when
the winter
but you know that was my dad
but that was our first home and we have
a lot of good memories there
we were really poor that i remember the
first time i saw a bathroom with tile
i didn’t want to leave the room i was
five years of age
and at that age you know you’re so
little that it looks so shiny and it
looks so expensive
but growing up poor taught me a lot
my dad he was an immigrant from
guatemala living undocumented in mexico
in mexico like who does that
still he was able to always provide the
basic needs for his family to his four
children and even to pay for my mother’s
education
my mom was a nursing school student who
later became a lawyer
she has two careers just amazing i had
everything
i come from a hard working family
i had healthy siblings i had everything
and being the daughter of an immigrant i
had a lot of pressure on me
you know i was the oldest daughter the
smart student
the overachiever so when i got pregnant
at 17 in my senior year of high school
i couldn’t face them i ran away
right after graduation with my abusive
boyfriend
to the u.s lompoc california
my new life started here
this is where my daughter andrea who’s
here
she was born there she’s going to be 18
next week actually
i love you mama and i’m so proud of you
our new life started in the u.s and i
remember this street
pretty clearly but i was
away from my family i was still with my
abusive boyfriend who was still abusing
me even while pregnant
i had no money i felt voiceless
trapped away from my family
alone in a country i did not know
and pregnant even though i had a
boyfriend to rely on
i was on my own most of the times but
i’m smart
so i quickly learned about this place
called the pantry it’s basically the
food bank
there in lombok and i also learned how
grocery carts are basically free for you
to take anywhere
it was like my uber for free so it was
even better
i used to take a grocery cart across
longboat every morning to go get my food
and in order to get the best of you
needed to arrive there super early
so you see lombok is a tiny town and
super quiet
so you will see me and hear me super
early in the morning with my grocery
cart pushing it at six a.m
probably waking up everyone
you know i never bought maternity
clothes
i don’t know what that feels like i
couldn’t afford it
i also couldn’t afford buying clothes
for my unborn daughter
i don’t remember but somehow i crossed
paths with
probably the only colombian in town and
she spoke perfect spanish
she told me about this place where she
volunteered at and where they could help
me with my daughter helping me with
donated clothes for her
i didn’t ask her for help yet she was
lending me a hand
an act of kindness that changed my life
my daughter’s life i can spend
hours talking to you about lombok it’s a
beautiful town
and i saw you guys like wine they have
great wine over there too
but i’m gonna save those memories for my
book
once andre i was born i left to phoenix
arizona
my parents convinced me to move here
closer to my uncles
and thank god i listen once here i left
my boyfriend
out of my life and my daughter’s life
and then
started a new journey as a single mom in
the u.s
i remember having three jobs i learned
quickly the basic english conversations
to land my first job
hi welcome to pueblo mexican food how
can i help you
yes i was a waitress but i even landed a
job as a supervisor for a call center
and data entry place answering phone
calls in english
without knowing english and i was a
supervisor
i don’t know how that happened but hey
they were paying really good
so fake it until you make it
i was even a bartender but if you ask me
right now to make you a drink
it’s gonna be disgusting so that job
didn’t last long
but hey i was hustling i needed to pay
for my daughter’s childcare
bills rent car payment i mean you name
it
it wasn’t easy i was so fortunate though
to have my best friend as a roommate
eliana she was my rock again
another woman in my life making a
difference without her even knowing
my supervisor job soon became the only
job i needed
but then i learned about this program
where andrea could be in preschool for
free
but in order for her to get in the
program she needed to get a physical
i mean i was a new mom i didn’t know a
physical she was three
who gets a physical at three years of
age
i have always been super overprotective
and i always thought andrea how no one
no one should ever touch your private
parts
so when the doctor tried to check even
with me in the room
andrea went crazy and refused to allow
the doctor to even get
close to her so they reported us to cps
now called the department of children
services
i remember being in that room afraid
i swear i thought they were going to
take my baby away from me
and i couldn’t understand why i’m a good
mom
and i couldn’t explain to them why
andrea was acting the way she was acting
because my english was broken
i felt helpless soon a nice lady a
social worker started busy or not
randomly
she was so nice and i wish i would
remember her name
because this was during the time where
you know 15 years ago we had an overlord
even more
over a lot of cases here in the state
and a lot of social workers ended up
quitting their jobs
but this lady she was special
when she realized how young i was and
that i spoke a little bit of english
she asked me about college she said
there’s nothing wrong here you and your
daughter have a normal family i’m so
sorry that you have to be
you know they put you through this but
what about school
why don’t you continue school and when
she mentioned college i was like um
i can go to college i don’t speak
english i have a child
i’m a single mom i’m from mexico i can’t
she then offered me free childcare
services
for free on 200 i was six
and i said ma’am um i’m from mexico
hello and she’s like and she’s like ah
no questions asked
your immigration status we don’t care
this is for your daughter
a u.s citizen but in exchange
she asked me to enroll in college which
i did
because i’m a woman of my word and you
have no idea
how much i wish i knew her name so she
can see me now
so she can see that i graduated with a
bachelor’s degree in journalism from one
of the best journalism
schools in the country that i graduated
magna laude
that i speak english that i’m a us
citizen
that i have won nine emmys so far and a
national award
and that the kid she helped
15 years ago that kid is graduating from
high school next year
with an associate’s degree and we’ll go
to college
that i’m here today standing in front of
all of you
talking about her thanking her in a ted
talk
a ted talk
you know she didn’t have to do what she
did
she could have just you know said i’m
sorry apologize it’s a mistake
and go on but she went
beyond that and she changed our lives
and i always say you know i know life is
not easy
for anybody really i get that but when
you’re an immigrant
it’s really hard not everyone has to
help i-hat
and not everyone can learn english
quickly
so please do not discriminate when you
hear someone with broken english
or with an accent instead
listen to them try to learn about their
journey
a voice coach once said our life
experience is reflected
in our voices love our differences
embrace us we’re better i’m better
because of people like you
all of you willing to learn from others
so i encourage you
to help other women there are way too
many lilianas out there
help them to see that there’s more to
believe in themselves
the social worker she didn’t do the work
for me she didn’t study
tirelessly or did my homework while
raising a child
but she did help me find the tenacity in
me
with the simple tiny push so to you
social worker whatever you are
thank you this ted talk is dedicated to
you
i hope i’m making you proud and remember
the next time you help someone even if
it’s the tiniest act of kindness
who knows you may be helping someone
like me someone who didn’t even know
doors existed thank you