Kinship How to Change the World
[Music]
the word ken
means one’s family or relatives kinship
is the sharing of characteristics or
origins
the extension of family so i believe
when it comes to kinship it all starts
with the family and how you’re brought
up
and given what i’ve just said i think
kinship is so simple to do
it’s the natural extension of being part
of a family
so let me begin by saying i absolutely
love and adore my sister
carey has been one of the best parts of
my life since i was just three years old
we always knew carrie was a little bit
different but just a year and a half ago
she was diagnosed with a rare genetic
condition called singap1
this affects her speech gross motor
skills and she has a small seizure once
in a while
she communicates with sign language some
vocalization
and lots of personality with me and my
family
now this has made my life interesting
and i mean that in the best way possible
carrie and i have an amazing
relationship
she has one of the most infectious
laughs a person can ever hear
and of course her go-to amusement is
trying to annoy me to the point of
insanity
but nonetheless carrie is my best friend
in this world
and she always will be now
imagine being locked in a house with
your best friend for three months
straight
this is exactly what happened to me and
carrie at the start of the kova
quarantine
in the beginning it was cool and
mysterious i mean we had all this time
to just hang out and play
but as the days dragged on and the
weather warmed up we developed some
cabin fever
we needed to find a new activity besides
eating sleeping
and driving their parents nuts which i
think a lot of people can relate to
and at the exact same time i just got my
driver’s license and my mom had just
bought a new car
so i was shocked when i went to my mom
and said hey mom can i take your car out
for a drive make sure it still works and
make sure i still know how to drive
i was shocked when she said conor of
course you can
if you take your sister with you so a
compromise was made
and off we went and now carrie and i had
some great times out driving
we’d have the windows down and the music
cranked and just in case my parents are
watching this
we absolutely were going the speed limit
at all times
and now no other car in andover could
cycle through
drake the wiggles maroon 5
or sesame street as well as we could
and even though we had some great times
driving the inevitable crept in
we started to get a little sick and
tired of each other’s personalities
it had been quite a long few months
and now so what i did to combat that was
i began picking up one of my best
friends
who also goes to st john’s with me he’d
stay in the front
and carry would rock out in the back
like usual and
but my friend didn’t really know what to
do with carrie was he supposed to talk
to her
ignore her just sit there the dilemma i
saw him go through was
absolutely no surprise unless someone
has a real
deep personal connection with someone
with special needs
they just don’t get it and that’s
totally okay but what would happen next
would shock me and move me still today
carrie once she became comfortable with
our new passenger
did her usual she’d give me a jab in the
ribs or a tug on the ear
which probably was not the safest thing
to do while i was driving but if you
don’t tell my parents
i think we’ll be okay and when she did
this she fell into her
famous belly laugh and my friend had a
look of shock and amazement
when she did this he like everybody fell
in love with carrie’s laugh and what
would happen next was my friend
began watching and observing what made
kerry laugh the most
and mimicked it he just made her laugh
all the time
and then eventually i was sitting in the
front of the car
all by myself my friend moved to the
back
to sit with carrie so they could
interact easier
i mean what 17 year old who’s got a
tough guy attitude with the rest of my
friends
all of a sudden best buddies with a 14
year old girl not to mention a girl who
didn’t speak
and who was probably watching disney
princess movies in the back of the car
most of the time
i was genuinely moved to say the least
now what i witnessed developed between
carrie and my friend
was absolutely natural kinship it was
not contrived or forced
my friend wasn’t with carrie out of
charity or service
no they genuinely enjoyed spending time
with each other
and see i think that’s what kinship is
all about it is
100 percent a natural human condition
humans crave kinship we need kinship
kinship is fostered through the ordinary
and the unspectacular
now i often think that kinship is
confused
with service however you don’t need to
start a school supplies drive
or a soup kitchen in order to find
kinship with somebody now all those
things are amazing and i have the utmost
respect for people who work to create
them
but like i said in the beginning i just
don’t think kinship needs to be all that
complicated
doesn’t require that much effort or
sacrifice
all you need to do is find a common
interest with somebody
now look i think everybody wants to
change the world
i certainly want to but something i like
to say is
how can you do the big things without
doing the small ones
so let me ask you how can you change the
world without changing somebody’s life
first
now this sounds really corny of me to
say but my life was
absolutely changed by the unknowing
actions of my friend and carrie
they prove to me that anybody can find
kinship with anyone
no matter your ability your age
your gender your race your nationality
your sexual orientation anything
anybody can find kinship if you have a
common interest and everybody has a
common interest
so now i want to challenge all of you
who are watching the minute this ends
i want you to reflect think of somebody
you know somebody you know of
or somebody you don’t know at all and go
seek them out
go talk to them go find a common
interest
i promise you kinship is bound to happen
and you’re gonna change somebody’s life
thank you very much