The Radical Sabbatical
madison had been
a great place to start a family and on
the surface
everything was fine we had a sweet home
and a walkable neighborhood between two
lakes
a tight community of friends and good
work
i was teaching yoga and doing
photography and my husband
was managing an affordable housing
non-profit but as we emerged from the
cocoon years of raising little children
we were feeling increasingly stifled
even disheartened
my husband was feeling burned out and
ready to move on from his work
and we had outgrown our little
two-bedroom household change was needed
but we were challenged in how to answer
this question
what’s next what’s next
this is a question we all answer all day
long
in mostly unnoticed habitual ways
through years of contemplative studies
i’ve learned paying attention to how
we’re answering this question is
critical
because how we answer this becomes the
whole of our lives
our family could have gone the more
common route
find another job and get a bigger house
but my husband and i have a shared
desire for more adventurous paths
couple this with swelling news of
climate change
failed leadership pressures around how
to manage screen time with our kids
and a growing cultural polarization
this deeper inquiry was also related to
how
best guide our girls at a time when
their world views were so formative
and impressionable then aged 7 and 11.
what was going to dominate their
internal narrative about their future
what would help them navigate their
what’s next
with relation to the world they would
inherit
these are dynamic times and our children
are growing up with a kind
of expiration date on life as we know it
something that science cannot exactly
predict what that will look like
but is clear it will not be what we’ve
known before
how do we increase our resilience and
our capacity
to meet these unprecedented times
there is a quote that i keep close from
howard thurman
an author theologian and key leader of
the civil rights movement from the 1960s
it’s been part of my email signature for
years so that i see it every day
and it says don’t ask what the world
needs
ask what makes you come alive and go do
it
because what the world needs is people
who have come alive
come alive my husband
andy and i met working in isle royale
national park
and share a love of nature for me
spending significant time in my twenties
in wilderness changed my life and my
sense of place in the world
if i could pinpoint a moment i came
alive it was then
living and working in wilderness
so in this context of what’s next and
looking for broader answers
we pressed pause we
pulled our kids out of school sold our
home
left our work and in the fall of 2017
hit the road for a year i named the
radical sabbatical
we gave ourselves a year to let go of
what wasn’t working
a year to sit with the unknown and live
the questions
we slowed down prioritized connection
with each other and connection to what
originally
made us come alive and brought us
together in the first place
time with nature this year was divided
into three chapters
lived via a camper trailer
the first chapter was a trip out west
across the northern rockies and down the
west coast
we spent time in some of the most
celebrated parks
such as glacier yellowstone
the redwoods and joshua tree
the second chapter time on the family
farm in the north woods of wisconsin
supporting andy’s parents move off the
farm
and also contemplating if this was a
place we wanted to relocate to
and chapter three a trip out west
because
it’s so glorious we traversed some
places we had missed
and adventured into the colorado plateau
yosemite and further north
into the canadian rockies
what became of that year will forever be
etched
in our memories and our hearts
highlights include being camped
on the pacific on the olympic peninsula
wandering the shores
and watching whales come in to feed day
after day
i know that sounds cheesy but it really
happened
we also spent significant time around
creatures larger than ourselves
including bison grizzly
and elk in their homes sometimes too
close
a favorite of mine was snaking our way
through the slot canyons of utah
appreciating the master sculptors of
water wind and time
on earth’s canvas
as with any big adventure came the
misadventures too
we got a close look at lyme disease
and its crippling effects after three
weeks of my husband suffering
through symptoms of fevers night sweats
and this escalating pain in his joints
that walking became difficult
we finally got our hands on antibiotics
and in three days
it was over
only 48 hours after that we arrive
in ventura california to visit andy’s
cousin gibran
on the night the thomas fire blew up
we’ve all seen news of increasingly
strong and
swift wildfires but to hear the call for
evacuation
by bullhorn from a fire truck in the
street
and to come out and see flames crowning
the hills
brought the climate crisis to a
frightening reality
the thomas fire was the largest fire on
record
that year in california what we’re
seeing now
is shattering those records
after all of the adventures and the few
mishaps
we returned to madison and all the good
things that it offers
it was a powerful incredibly vulnerable
year
as we pressed pause let go of what
wasn’t working
and filled that space with a
reconnection to each other
and this world it filled the restless
void
of what’s next with a renewed sense of
wonder
and deep appreciation for what is
but this talk isn’t about us and that
cool thing we did
it’s about the power of pressing pause
we took a large pause a big moment to
get present
to disconnect from the routine even
maddening
busyness and reclaim that feeling of
coming alive
to influence our answering of what’s
next
it worked he got that different better
job
and we have a house that suits us
but life is richer and not just on the
surface
we can all press pause regularly
in simple ways like taking a few moments
each day getting connected to what’s
around us
and grounding into our senses the sounds
the sights the smells
without just being on to the next thing
automatically
something as accessible as this can
begin to shift
our brain in ways that changes
perception in a supportive way
neuroscience is telling us this and the
core of compelling research behind
neuroplasticity
this study of how the brain is shaped by
our experiences
and its ability to form new pathways
over the course of a lifetime
is that engaging in practices like
mindfulness
or other present moment techniques for
as little as
10 minutes per day can begin to change
our brains
and perceptual field in as few as eight
weeks
we have the innate ability to tap
resources of resilience
enhanced awareness that positively shape
how we’re experiencing our lives
one notable piece of evidence about the
impact of pressing pause and the brain
is about the amygdala this is the center
that produces fear anxiety and the
general stress response
something i think we’re all familiar
with
with such practices done regularly
like i mentioned the amygdala gets
physically
smaller and is therefore less apt to
dominate
our perceptual narrative like our
thoughts and our feelings
and therefore less apt to pilot how
we’re choosing are what’s next
stress response states are natural
they’re necessary but they are not meant
to be the architects of our lives
bridge this invitation of practicing
presence
along with engaging those experiences
that help you feel alive
another way of saying coming alive and
we have the invitation
to build a life in a world that is not
based on fear separation
and scarcity i asked my oldest daughter
now 14 how the trip changed her
and she said i had liked the structure
and comfort of my life
and always knowing what was going to
happen next
the trip opened me up to step out of my
comfort zone and make myself
uncomfortable
now being spontaneous and not knowing
what’s going to happen next
is something i enjoy i think this will
serve her well as she grows into the
world she is inheriting
stepping out of our comfort zone is
another way we get present
and helps us to adopt new ways of
relating
to the world it also helps us build our
capacity
to withstand a wide range of experiences
from pleasant to unpleasant wanted
to unwanted
we are all experiencing a radical
sabbatical of sorts as i present this in
2020
and not one of our own choosing covid19
has changed
everything and plunged us into a great
pause from what was
forcing us to sit with the unknown
reckoned with structures that are not
serving our collective
we are all challenged in how to answer
this question what’s next
what do we do with all of this
uncertainty
and the anxiety the fear it generates
something we learned on our trip is that
we don’t have to know yet
being willing to accept the unknown and
pause with it
can be a great teacher though i know
it’s not easy
possibility can be met there
so how do we get through this together
and even turn it into the possibility of
something better on the other side
something that makes us collectively
come alive in ways we could not have
imagined before all of this
who can say exactly but i can offer this
i welcome us all to routinely
press pause and give our bodies our
minds
our hearts the reset we need
i invite us all to slow down and stay in
connection with ourselves in each other
and what makes you come alive
creative expression exploring nature
like us
growing and cooking food movement
serving community whatever those
experiences are
reclaim engaging with them regularly
and not for reward or merit
but to simply feel that pulsation
of life and the remembrance that it is a
gift
to be here it may even invite wonder
and fill you with fresh purpose no
matter how bleak this current narrative
may seem
when we value real connection
real life experience in real time
it changes everything including the
mindset of how we’re answering
what’s next collectively as a planet
thank you